Son of my Lather

Mallory's post about laundry reminded Bloodredroses about laundry which reminded me about laundry. I was at Uni, which is never the cleanest period of anyone's life, however I always made sure I had clean pants, socks and t-shirts. This meant going to the laundrette at my halls and putting some money in the machines.

Pic stolen from Image Zen

As this was my first time doing my own washing I was sure of the etiquette. It was rather a small room, but I didn't want to leave my clothes on their own (who knows if a 90 minutes 'different class' t-shirt can hack it by itself?) so I took my copy of The Beach along and started reading. As people kept coming in and leaving I realised I had made a major laundrette faux pax - I was meant to go back to my halls and return when my clothes had finished.

So I started to do this and all was well. I even progressed to the part where I could time to the exact minute when my washing and drying would be finished so I didn't have to waste any time. This meant though that sometimes I would have to wait for a dryer to be free, and sometimes took clothes out of a finished dryer and left them on the side for their owner to collect them.

This was how I ended up with no pants.

I took some clothes out and left them on the side. Then put my pants and socks in to be dried. When I returned to my drier there were no pants. Or socks. But the clothes I had taken out were still on the side. I suspected the owner of these clothes had just gone into the dryer but didn't check if they were his. But surely he would have noticed?

Either way this left me down to one pair of clean pants and I'm not the boy who will get run over with dirty pants so I had to go to the market to buy some. I kept going back to the laundrette to see if my washing turned up, but over the weekend it hadn't. How could someone not have noticed that my clothes weren't theirs? The other clothes were still there as well.

Luckily on Monday a swap had taken place and my pants had returned in a black bin bag (luckily not one used for trashbagging by Blade Braxton). Unfortunately they were still damp and therefore needed another wash.

My theory on this happened was this:

• Other washer had to leave for the weekend and asked his mate to get his clothes from the drier.
• Mate takes clothes out. Realises they're damp but doesn't really care, doing this is favour enough.
• Other washer comes back from weekend away, looks at clothes. They aren't his.
• Luckily someone has KINDLY AND THOUGHTFULLY left their clothes on the side so he swaps them

Still you live and learn, so I went back to being the nerd reading books in the laundrette. Although I bought a GameBoy Color and started playing Mario Golf not long after.

In other news I only have five days left until I'm married. Yay!

And http://tv.timbormans.com/ is a good youtube/last.fm mashup. Search for uppi17 and enjoy!

Stars on your thighs

Well it turns out the fretting over the non-arrival of the Word CD was for nought. They've sent another one without any problems.



I don't like tattoos and find it hard to believe why someone would find it useful to have a reminder of their girlfriend's name on their arm, or of their favourite game character, or a Japanese kanji symbol that they're not quite sure what it means. But at least they're original. Something that not many other people will have. Which is why I really don't understand why so many people are getting five pointed stars for tattoos.

It seems that the people who get these are the emo kids. But it's pretty obvious if you're an emo kid without having to have a tattoo on your arm. Especially one of a really rubbish star.

And why are they all five pointed stars? What's wrong with the six pointed star (er your link explains that - ed)? Or even the eight pointed star? Now it could be argued that they're pentagrams and therefore highly mystic. But they're not connected. Instead you look like a military buff. With a dodgy haircut.

The main problem I have with the stars is that they remind me of the bit in Ghostbusters where Bill Murray is testing a girl and a boy at ESP using cards. Now if all these people got tattoos in reference to Ghostbusters that makes sense, but why hide it in such an obscure manner? I asked someone if my theory was true. He replied, "that it's true - this man has no dick" which was obviously some stupid in joke I didn't understand. I left him and played Zool on my CD32.

Cheerio!

Let's all Mux up in the year 2000

During my day off where I managed to get two women fighting over cutting my hair, had a argument over what lenses to have in my glasses and ate an ice cream whilst walking along the River Ouse in the sunshine, I also completed the year 2000 for the Sweeping The Nation Muxtape Challenge.

For those of you who do know a Muxtape is an online page where you make a mixtape of up to twelve mp3s. For those of you who don't know Muxtape is what a South African calls the gaffer tape belonging to Michael.

Anyway here is the address for my muxtape:
http://uppi2000.muxtape.com/

Songs that narrowly missed qualification were:

• Lolly - Per Sempre Amore (the only song I can think of that's about Siamese twins - I'll explain later)
  
• The Soggy Bottom Boys - In Constant Sorrow (didn't really fit in with the other tracks)
• Aqua - Cartoon Heroes (too good for this compilation)
• Sugababes - Soul Sound (best Sugababes song ever)
• Gorky's Zygotic Mynci - The Blue Trees (eliminated because I couldn't remember a single song from it)
• Gomez - Getting Better (the only song I could remember from Abandoned Shopping Trolley Hotline, and it was a cover)
• Whistler - Faith In The Morning (see Gorky's Zygotic Mynci)
  

Gach!

I feel a bit bad writing this but I'm really annoyed with ("Word" - ed) magazine*. You see I took up their offer of a very cheap two year subscription. And then the next issue failed to arrive.

Luckily the nice lady on the subs line told me they'd send another copy out. Which did arrive. And was missing the free CD. (And was the 'standard' cover rather than the special subs edition - but I'm not too bothered about that (Oh and it missed the subs letter)) Now the magazine itself is the usual high quality, and contains a great picture of the girl from Guillemots, but I should have the free CD.

I'm in a nice car though. Should I ring up the nice lady and complain that they didn't send me the free CD or should I just shut up and enjoy the magazine whilst drinking my *OBVIOUS PLUG TO INCREASE READERS OF THE BLOG* crate of JBL's Mama Juwanna Boner Juice?

What am I talking about? I should stop being terribly English and complain.

* I'm sorry but The Word sounds awful for a magazine title. In fact, no magazine should have 'The' in the title. The NGamer? The Smash Hits? The Retro Gamer? The Edge? All sound much worse than if you removed the The.

Byoing!

Hello readers!

HURRAH! Bran Van 3000 appear to be back!

BAH! Jayne Hill appears to have left...

HURRAH! Pro Evolution Soccer on the Wii is the best football game since SWOS!

BAH! Mario Kart Wii is rather rubbish...

HURRAH! Only one week of Japanese lessons to go!

BAH! I hardly know any Japanese and will probably fail my exam...

HURRAH! Ronald McDonald's sister is cute

BAH! Scarlett Johansson's song isn't as good as I thought it would be...

HURRAH! Stuart Campbell is excellent when he gets annoyed at someone!

BAH! It's not so good when he charges for it, annoys the readers of his forum and then puts in a decent solution, but too late to bring some people back...

HURRAH! People kept looking at this blog even though I haven't updated it for 3 months!

BAH! They appear to only be interested in my one mention of JBL's Mama Juwanna Boner Juice...

HURRAH! The second best wedding of the year went off without a hitch (except well, the obvious one)!

BAH! My latest issue of Word didn't come through the post so I asked for another copy, which arrived but was non-subscription copy and didn't have the free CD...

HURRAH! The Watabe Wedding appears to be going according to plan!

BAH! People have cancelled for annoying reasons... (Anyone want to come instead?)

This

entry is going to be boring due to lack of enthusiasm and me feeling as though I'm in a Phil K Dick novel.

Watabe Three

(a)
Just like Kermit the Frog and Miss Piggy,
Benjamin Hall and Freya Whitely
were destined to be together

They would love for you to come to
their wedding
On
At 4.45pm
At the ,
York
With reception to follow

(b)
Benjamin and Freya are getting
married!

On
At 4.45pm
At the ,
York
With reception to follow

We would live it if you could come
and share our day with us

(c)
Once upon a time
There was a girl called Freya
And a boy called Benjamin
And they were just right for each other

So they decided to get married
On
At 4.45pm
At the ,
York

They would love it if you would
come and share their special day!

------

I prefer (a), Freya prefers (c).

Reviews Sunday

The Meaning Of Life

It's been released in a buggy state & certainly isn't as good as it's been made out to be.
One out of seven

The week in twitters [slightly ahead]

Due to me being in Newcastle tomorrow, here are my twitters so far (I've also removed the links as it's too fiddly to put them in):

In Newcastle tomorrow. Looking for the messiah
I can't be bothered today. In a lazy way rather than a depressed way
No! Lost my ds save games :(((
@FragDollsUK I'm still pretty rubbish at hiragana - don't make me think of kanji!
Lost at squash again & there were no hot showers :((
I've learnt 50% of hiragana. Yatta!
Dry crackly fingers. Not good
"You don't understand Mandy, I've been through a fucking divorce, my brother's been through a divorce."
Having to use ipod headphones. I feel trendy. And wrong
Just squeezed a spot inside my nose. Ouch
People who drive cars can be stupid

Fridays Feast

In association with wrestlecrap.com

Appetizer
If you could be any current celebrity for one whole week, who would you want to be?
Lord Alfred Hayes.

Soup
On a scale of 1-10 (with 10 being highest), how much do you enjoy talking on the phone?
8. I enjoy speaking to people on the other end of the tin can and string.

Salad
Name a charitable organization to which you have donated (or would like to).
Blade Brakestown's Chase Meridan Mastercharge bill

Main Course
What is a food you like so much you could eat it every single day for a month?
Mama Juwanna energy/boner juice.

Dessert
Have you or anyone in your family had the flu this year?
I didn't even know we were sick!

Japanese Thursday

A: Yokohama made ichi mai kudasai.
B: Ofuku desu ka, katamichi desu ka?
A: Ofuku desu. Kin'en seki onegai shimasu. Ikura desu ka?
B: Ni man san sen yen desu.
A: Nan ji tsukimasu ka?
B: Ju-san-ji hap-pun desu.
A: Nan ban sen desu ka?
B: Rokku ban sen.
A: Arigato.

3 strikes

STRIKE ONE! That nose ring you had for a while

STRIKE TWO! That awful tattoo you just got

STRIKE THREE! "My greatest vice is cheese. Nothing else reigns over my life."

Separated at birth?

Fun with photoshop

Can you spot what I've added to this magazine's cover?

Reviews Sunday

Zack and Wiki - Wii

There's a been a bit of a trend recently for point and click games to be ported over to the Wii. The highly rubbish CSI game and some Agatha Christie adventure being the latest (and only) ones I can remember. They've been quite rightly ridiculed for their lack of imagination in using the Wiimote. Pointing at a screen isn't that revolutionary, surely you could use it in a better way?

Zack and Wiki - no! but yes! - does this. For some strange and convoluted reason the young mute pirate Zack is friends with a flying monkey/bell Wiki and they have to rescue bits of treasure. Instead of just digging around with a Bill Wyman endorsed metal detector they decide to go into various caves and get the treasure chest held within. Unfortunately said cave is filled with fiendish traps.

To sum it up it's a cross between Indiana Jones and The Adventure Game*.



And it uses the Wiimote so well. In only short space of time I've cranked, flauted, shoveled, prodded and rung the bell and it's always felt natural. There are sudden death's but unlike, normal point and clicks, because the action is split up you don't have too far to go back when restarting. And you always no why you died, the problem is just working out what to do to stop it happening again.



So a highly imaginative game, that tests your logical & lateral thinking much more than Kawashima ever could. Perhaps it's not as replayable as other games, but that's the same of many point and clicks. I'm sure you would enjoy this just as much on it's second go as you would with Toonstruck or Monkey Island.

Six out of seven

* A far better title for the new Indie film than the one it currently has.

P.S. Eurogamer! If I'm not meant to nick your pics & put them on my flickr account let me know and I'll remove them.

The week in twitters [slightly behind]

Nearly lost my keys through a hole in my trousers #
Need to learn hiragana by this time next week #
Just saw Private Pube and Annoying Becky holding hands. Thought he had better taste than that #
Help! I've forgotten the days of the week. Except for suiyobi #
To buy: lightspeed, marling, los camp!, lacrosse, cave, siobahn, she&he, mules, tegan #
Lunch cancelled & I haven't brought sandwiches! #
Beard gone again #
wedding list cleansing #
going to take 13 years worth of stuff i kept to be recycled. isla fisher pics aren't needed if you're married! #
need a new brolly. the last one gave up with a sudden gust #
day off... so spending it playing wow #
Mmm sticky toffee pudding #

Learning Japanese

A: Answer phone say name of hotel
B: Ask if they have any rooms for tomorrow
A: Single or double?
B: Single
A: Yes we have a single
B: How much are they?
A: 5000 yen a night
B: Book a room for two nights
A: Ask name & phone number
B: Give details, ask if they have a pool
A: Say yes, it's in the basement
B: Ask if they have a convenience store
A: No, but there's one opposite the hotel
B: Say thanks & goodbye
A: Goodbye

In Japanese...

A: Moshi moshi, Royal Hoteru desu.
B: Ashita heya wa arimasu ka?
A: Shinguru desu ka? Daburu desu ka?
B: Shinguru o onegai shimasu.
A: Hai, shinguru desu ne.
B: Ippaku ikura desu ka?
A: Go sen en desu.
B: Shinguru nihaku o onegai shimasu
A: Hai. O namae wa? Denwa bango wa nan ban desu ka?
B: Watashi wa Ben Hall desu. Watashi no denwa bango wa ichi-rokku-rokku-san-nana-kyu desu. Kono hoteru ni puru wa arimasu ka?
A: Hai, puru wa chika desu.
B: Kono hoteru ni konbini wa arimasu ka?
A: Konbini ja arimasen. Konbini wa hoteru no ushiro desu.
B: Ah so desu. Arigato gozaimasu. Sayonara.
A: Sayonara.

B: Ask if they have a convenience store
A: No, but there's one opposite the hotel
B: Say thanks & goodbye
A: Goodbye

I need to go on this site & learn hiragana...
http://www.chipchat.com/NihonGo/protect/HiraganaDrill.html

Earthquake Live Blog!

00:54
"Zzzzzzzzzzz"

00:55
Earthquake hits
"Zzzzzzzzzzz"

00:56
"Zzzzzzzzzzz"

06:30
Wake up, hear mention of Earthquake on the Today programme.

07:00
Watch GMtv going overboard with Earthquake coverage. Turn off sound & read games teletext.

08:32
Arrive at work

08:33
"Zzzzzzzzzzz"

CSI Live Blog

21:05
Nice to see Gil's rocking the Cantona collar. Did you know Gil proposed to Sara in the episode we missed?

21:07
("Flip" - ed) no. That's why she left, kinda answers his question for him. Great! An episode dedicated to Hodges and his mind games. 'Would you let me finish!'

21:11
She said yes so I doubt it was that. I think Eads is enjoying the way he can mess around. 'Whodunnit and how?'

21:17
They should make this into a pub it-box game complete with Eads giving hints. I'd play it!

21:22
Poor guy. Must all these murders be about Henry being sweaty? Hodges seems to be upset when someone joins in with him & Wendy.

21:26
His mind did wander towards Katherine though. Can't blame him for liking Wendy. I like Wendy too. I'm guessing the cast enjoyed filming this. Rather lighthearted.

21:37
Hodges has killed Wendy off now she wants to become a field agent. Why does the gun guy always get collared for the crime?

21:40
Do you think he drops things or tie his shoe laces on purpose so he can sneak a look up her skirt? I'm loving brass giving massages. Hodges! Busted! Ha ha.

21:45
I think Mindy McBoobs likes Hodges too. I thought Gil would end up playing the game. It would be easy for him though.

21:49
Ha ha love it. Mindy McBoobs! Ha ha. Gil can win board games without even trying. Ha ha that autopsy face! 'No sign of sexual trauma!' ha ha.

21:56
Gil's finding the game fun. I reckon Hodges will give the game to Sara as an engagement gift. Another framing for Bobby!

22:01
What a lovely gift. Though Gil will ruin it as he's already played it. Think I'm going to get a t-shirt made up saying I love Wendy on the front.

Day off

It's my day off so I'm digging through my boxes of junk that my Mum & Dad have brought over. In amongst my pictures of Aussie soap stars (ah Isla Fisher, Tempany Deckart and that blonde girl who went out with Lance) - which I will now be getting rid of - there was some good stuff. This map of how Paramount Comedy Shows linked together was something I did because I was bored. However I'm rather taken with it now, especially as I wrote it pre-imdb.

One day the fact that Pete Schumacher from The Garry Shandling Show was once on a episode of Flying Blind will save the world. Hey it makes more sense than stopping a cheerleader being killed.