Eagle Vs Ben Vs Predator Vs Army of Darkness Vs Freya (sewing edition)

Freya & I don't fight that much. Or rather, we try to avoid fighting. Usually when I feel myself getting angry or stressed about something I go to another room, grumble to myself and then come back refreshed. Freya on the other hand always keeps it to herself until it comes out (usually accompanied by tears).

However I feel that the most recent dispute we've had needs to be settled. Who is the best at sewing?

Freya's entry:

Made last weekend, this yellow Cat Doll was inspired by Lost at Sea, by Bryan Lee O'Malley which is apparently rather good. I've yet to read it, as Freya keeps it on her side of the bed and due to the fight I'm unable to cross the bed border.



Cat Doll was filled with quinoa, and is made out of yellow fabric. Freya says that next time she makes Cat Doll she will do the face first before sewing up.



Ben's entry:

The unofficial Nottingham Forest FC felt pencil case. Made fourteen years ago at school under sewing tuition from my Dad. This unique design shows a strange type of tree where the trunk is as wide as the tree itself. Also renaming Forest 'Fores' is an obvious dig at those who call the team Notts Forest.



The back has an interesting play on the umbro logo and due to space & time restrictions the sponsors name is spread over two lines rather than the obvious one.



So which one is best? I'll leave it up to you to decide.

No man's (hair) is an Island

I'm now fully resigned to the fact that I will be bald within five years. My temples are getting higher and higher every time I get my haircut. I'm not surprised by this as everytime I wash my hair I seem to leave a thin covering of hair in the bath. Seriously, it's like Chewbacca was molting in there.

This wasn't such a problem when my hair was growing at a similar rate, but it looks as though it's now given up the effort.

The main problem is that, because the temples are rising yet my front locks are staying in place I'm going to end up with an Island of hair on the top of my head. In short I'm going to look like this guy:

Ben, five years later, yesterday*

Or the guy from Super Tennis who looked as though he had a coin slot in his head.

Either way, I'm fully prepared for it. At least I'll save myself paying nearly thirty quid for a haircut by getting Freya to do it with some clippers. And I won't have to worry about whether the hairdresser fancies me or not as (hopefully) Freya still will when I'm bald.

* Seeing Yordan Lechkov reminds me how happy I was when he scored against Germany. I actually ran out into the street in our German village and shouted at the top of my lungs. Strange that at Germany 2006 I actually wanted Germany to do better than England. And probably will for every other tournament from now on.

Tweezer homes league

You may recall that last month I was mildly annoyed by how long it took to go through baggage check at Stansted airport. However, it remained at a mild level of annoyance as I realise that it's best that people don't get on board with things that can blow up, or that they can stab people with.

I've never been someone who gets properly furious at these checks. Even when security found some nail clippers in my bag & threw them away I didn't get upset. I knew the rules and I should've put them in my main bag.

Now I've lost all respect for them. Because I've been breaking airport security for the past year and never been caught.

Alright, so it was only a pair of tweezers. And they were wedged securely into a front pocket of my bag, but you'd have thought that at least one person who did security at Manchester, Paris (twice), Narita-Tokyo, Stansted or Munich airports would have noticed that it was in my bag.

Like TV license detector vans I now believe the security machines at airports to have absolutely nothing within them.

I'm now off to sneeze uncontrollably. Bye!

List me do

My blogging skills (if you could ever call them that) have completely vanished. I also need an ability to write a CV that will make CIMA think that I've had enough experience as an accountant to become fully qualified. I expect even a blank piece of paper will make CIMA think this as the yearly membership fees pretty much double once you're fully qualified.

Anyway, seeing how I've run out of things to say I'm going to the lazy guide to blogging and see if they have any ideas for... Hmmm, no not really had any interesting food, nothing funny happened at work*, ah this one sounds easy enough to do.

New things I have bought this week

• Scott Pilgrim 2. Seeing how play didn't have this in stock when I ordered it, I got it from my local comic shop. Which took two weeks to arrive. It's very good though & is the only comic book that Freya likes. Sorry Gillen I tried.
• An Optimus Prime mask that makes me sound like a very camp robot. I still love it though.
• The latest SFX came through the post. It looks alright, but I'm really starting to like DeathRay. Except that it has about five highly self indulgent pages and very poor page design.

That's all I can think of. Cheerio!

* Although I did make someone laugh by saying "A lot of people have been born in Germany". I foolishly left out an important word "A lot of English people..."

A total shower

Just spent a long weekend in Munich. Was highly enjoyable, but three annoying things happened:

• Missed on Kieron Gillengan and Jamie McKelvie's comic signing at Travelling Man. Bah.
• Stayed at the Hilton in Munich. Which sounds good, except it had a shower that never stayed at the same temperature. This resulted in constant Fat Boy Slim style mixing of the hot and cold taps. And me nearly burning my feet off.
• Flew with Easyjet. Was delayed both times. The second time it was because the tyres went flat when the passengers got on board. So Easyjet had to fly spare tyres in from Stansted. Resulting in a five hour delay. Meaning that (once we got through a massive passport check at Stansted) we got home at half ten rather than four thirty.

Other than that, beer is amazing. And I want to work in Japan.

Time for a joke

I remember a letter in Amiga Power that mentioned the best line to say when someone mentioned Timbuktu. It was: "Tim bucked two? I haven't even bucked one yet!"

I had a similar joke which I had never had the opportunity to use. Until today. Gary was moaning about how everyone at the office was away next week.

"Ben's off. Craig's off. Matt's off. Helen's off."

I saw my chance.

"Dino's off too."

Gary looked at me strangely as though he was trying to work out who the hell Dino was in our team. Then he realised. And laughed.

So it was a funny joke. My work there was done.

Unfortunately it was 11 and I had to stay for another four and a half hours.

SQUASH UPDATE:

Last week I finally beat Natalie at squash, but it was decided that this was because she had eaten two sandwiches rather than one. Indeed we drew again today. After I went 3 games ahead & then faded A-Rod style to let Natalie draw three all. I did manage to smash the ball against the back wall and reach the front wall which was a personal target I managed to hit.

But then I played Helen who was rather good at squash and she wiped the floor with me. Bah.

Boo Radleys, JATMC, Oasis

I'm incredibly rubbish at doing anything that involves creating anything. My artistic side has never developed past drawing people with googly cartoon eyes. As soon as I could I got rid of my Art and Technology lessons for German and Double Science.

I can remember my Dad teaching me ("posh word for sewing" - ed) in Middle School. For this we had to design and make our own pencil case. So I did one about Nottingham Forest. Except with my amazing foresight and planning I did the kit sponsors name too big so it had to go on two lines. It read:

Shipsto-
nes

And, yes, I cared so little about my work that I put the hyphen in.

In art I can distinctly recall my art teacher being really impressed with a feather I was sketching in chalk/charchol. Apparently I was quite good at copying the individual lines of the feather. But I decided that this was because we were coming up to choosing our options for GCSE and he wanted me to choose Art. And I wanted to get as far away from Art as possible.

Which is why I was dreading Friday at work. Because, in some weird attempt at 'team bonding' it was decided that we would paint a local charity's office. Having no interest in DIY I was not happy about having to do this. This pretty much nullified any chance of success the day was going to have in making me part of the team.

It didn't help that the rooms we had to paint had desks that were too big for the rooms (making it impossible to open the door fully or put ladders up), had cork boards that we had to take down using scrapers (leaving my hand bloody and the wall looking terrible) and that I was so rubbish at painting that the original paint colour was still peeking through.

So my handyman career ended the same day it began. However thinking about it I have created one thing I think looks alright. It's a Sophie Ellis Bextor desktop background. Here it is:

Sharks

That's it, my PC is definitely not good for playing games. Half-Life 2 keeps crashing everytime I try to play it. It's also done it when I was playing Trackmania and Outrun 2. But it never crashes if I'm playing MMO games. Strange.

Anyway, someone I know at work has had laser eye surgery. When I first heard of laser eye surgery I thought it meant that actual lasers were put into your eyes, bionic man style. The laser would then be used to focus the eyes.

Unfortunately it's even worse than that. They scrape your eyes back and fiddle the corneas (or something) with the laser until they work. This is why, when my eyes finally play up*, I will be sticking with glasses. It's because I'm extremly squeamish about touching my eyes. Contact lenses are right out too. So when I finally become boss-eyed for life what kind of glasses should I get?

Type 1
The Lennon












I don't think these are going to work for me. They give the air of someone who thinks they're intelligent, but in reality are not. Unless of course you're this guy:









Who is stupid and gives the air of being stupid.

Type 2
The thick style












I quite like this look & think I could pull it off. The only problem with this is that everyone at work who wears glasses wears a style similar to this. So either I leave my current job or choose a different pair. Or just get over myself (or under) and get that kind.

Type 3
The secretary style










As worn by Janine of The Real Ghostbusters. This is the half-moon style that is usually used by Secretaries as reading glasses. I doubt this will be my style as it's mostly worn by women. And I don't think red frames would suit me.

Type 4
The eyepatch











Seeing how I'm only going to go blind, or at least blurry in one eye I think the eyepatch is a viable alternative. Plus I would have a decent fancy dress costume to fall back on.

It would get boring after the first few parties though.

* +0.25 in my right eye currently. Whatever that means.

Squash update

I drew another match this Wednesday. This time there was no 9-0 thrashing so I'm getting better. In fact I went two games in the lead before my lack of fitness started to tell.

I'm more surprised by the fact that my legs don't hurt for five days afterwards like they did when I first started this whole thing. Wow, doing exercise gets you fit, who'd have thought it?

In work news I'm having to use Microsoft Access, which is not user friendly, but I'm managing to get it to do what I want. Although it's taken me the best part this week to get that far. Imagine if I had to do something slightly more difficult than multiplying some numbers? My mind boggles. Or falls asleep, I forget which.

Device management

My PC is having a phantom device problem. Everytime I load up the PC it decides that I've plugged in a new piece of hardware which needs installing. Except I haven't.

And even though EVERY TIME I tell it to 'not tell me about this again' it tells me about it again. Grrr. PC's eh?

I might do a windows update and see if that will help. It might even make Half-Life 2 work, although I've given up on that myself.

Clerks the first

Freya & I watched Clerks the other day. I liked it, but was very surprised to see my work colleague Tom in there as Oleg. I might ask Tom if he's ever tried making Truck Bezerker.


Tom, with me

Oleg making ("cluck" - ed) BEZERKER!

I move in usual ways

As you'd expect for a couple who are getting married, Freya & I are looking at how much houses are to buy. And then deciding we'll have to save for about another 3 years before we can get a reasonably nice house.

In our search for house prices in the york area we found this:
http://212.50.188.108/cgi-win/vebra.cgi?details1?src=vebra&PropertyCode=1461001/REDHO/17903/1
I'm guessing it's a joke page put on there by the developers, but still five grand is still too much for us to pay.

How to get fit

The best way to get fit is to do some exercise. The only problem with this is that you have to do some exercise. If you've spent the past four to seven years sitting on your arse then you'll find your legs fail to work for about five days after trying to get fit.

But I've given it a go. And I feel even more tired than I did before. This is my exercise diary.

Saturday 2nd June
Ran around the Cricket pitch. Took about 10 minutes to do so, although I did have to stop jogging about three times due to exhaustion. Decide to blame it on the sunshine, but absolved moonlight and goodtimes of any guilt. It was exceptionally hot.

Checked my pedometer at the end to see how far I had ran. Apparently my ten minute jog took only 50 steps to do and resulted in me running 20 metres. Looks as though I might have to increase the sensitivity for the next time I run.

Wednesday 6th June
Legs still not working, but foolishly decide to challenge fellow Persistency colleague Natalie to a squash match. I have never played squash before, but being largely rubbish at any racquet sport I expect a defeat.

I lose, but actually manage to win the first game, which surprised me considering Natalie plays Squash/Badminton about twice a week and I'm crap. However I did lose the second game 9-0, partly due to knackering myself in the first game. Managed to get through the men's shower challenge as well.

Friday 15th June
Squash rematch. This time it was a 2-2 draw. Once again I win the first game and then lose the second 9-0. Obviously stamina is a problem for me. Did some rather decent shots, but didn't have a clue how I actually managed to do them. This is similar to the 'power serves' on Wii Tennis, how do they happen?

Yet to do another run, because I hate doing them. Might try once the weather clears up. But squash is rather fun though. Although I might change my mind if I play someone half-decent as Natalie admits she's rather crap as well.

Oh and I've played a load of Wii Sports and Wario Ware as well. Does that count as exercise? The Dr. Crygor bit involves doing loads of squats so I'm counting them whether you like it or not.

In other news Freya has bought her wedding dress off ebay*. I had to do the auction sniping for it, but wasn't allowed to view the dress, which caused some logistical problems. But it has now arrived and is pretty according to Freya. And the ring arrived last Sunday as well. I have seen this and it is very pretty.

* Link added from an e-mail I have without images, so I still haven't seen it. But you can. Let me know what you think of it.

Serious and Seriouser

"We need to talk"

Four words men never want to hear from their Schatz.

I turned the television off. As I knew I would drift off and start watching it no matter how serious the conversation got.

"If we're going to get married next year we need to start saving money."

This I knew. We'd just spent a lot of money on going to Japan. And since coming back I spent a lot on an engagement ring (which still hasn't arrived). Then I spent two hundred and fifty quid on a Wii (which is great) and seventy quid on some trainers to get fit (one ten minute run, one loss at squash and two aching legs). So my bank account was rather low.

And Freya was aware of this.

"I know you managed to put some money away that was left over at the end of the month, but I think you should start up a direct debit and save some money for the wedding. And also save some for yourself as I know you spent all of your savings on Japan."

This made sense. I needed to save money and I'm the kind of person who if they have some money in the bank will usually spend it. I spoke of my agreement to this plan.

Unfortunately Freya didn't see to cotton on to that fact that I thought she was right & got into a bit of a panic about me not saving money. Luckily I think she finally believes me. And I have now set up the direct debits.

"I love you Ben"

Anyway, what about this for the top of the wedding cake?

Fridays Feast no. 9

Appetizer
Name something you think is “the best.”
I’d say Pulp’s This Is Hardcore is “the best” album ever. For some reason, if I hear any song from it at random on my mp3 player I have to flip back and listen to all of it. It is an unskippable album, even the dodgy track near the end where Jarvis comes on all Fat Harry White. No other album holds my attention like it.

Having said that I haven’t listened to it for a while…

Soup
On a scale of 1 to 10 (with 10 highest), how stressed are you today?
Started off at 4. Then it went up to 10 when a big Director rang me up asking for some figures within an hour. Then it went back to 4 when I realised the figures wouldn’t have been the best things to use in a meeting with the Chief Exec.

Salad
What kind of cleanser do you use to wash your face?
Nothing. Which might explain why my face is always very dry. I might give Clarins for Men a go soon as my Mum bought me a pack for Christmas.

Main Course
Tonight is a blue moon! What is something that you believe only happens “once in a blue moon.”
I wake up without immediately wanting to go straight back to sleep.

Dessert
When was the last time it rained where you live?
Yesterday. While I was walking home. My suit trousers were drenched before I reached the first corner & it takes twenty minutes to walk home. I had to have a bath when I got home I was so cold and wet. The suit’s going straight to the dry cleaners today!

Fridays feast is a meme that comes out every Friday at this website. I use it to give me something to write about.

Friends

Ah now I realise why I don't go on myspace that much:



I'm guessing they might be trying to add me as a friend because I took pictures of one of their marches. But that was only because I thought it was a pretty daft way of trying to see your kids.

The really annoying thing is I've already denied them once, but they've sent me a second invite. I'll decline this one as well and if they try one more time then I'll write them a strongly worded e-mail. Whilst dressed as The Thing.

Fridays Feast no. 8

I'm starting this up again as I'm having a severe bloggers block and just need anything to write about.

Appetizer
Name a sound you like to hear.
I used to like the drip of a tap, but since the one in our kitchen in on the blink & runs constantly I'm going against that. I like rain against the window. As long as I'm safe indoors and don't need to go out.

Soup
What is your favorite kind of cheese?
None. I hate cheese. It's the stringiness I don't like. And the smell. And probably the taste (although I've never eaten any).

Salad
Do you sleep late on Saturday mornings? Why or why not?
I try to sleep in as long as possible. Usually because I'm very lazy. Also I never have anything important to do on a weekend, so why not stay in bed?

Main Course
When was the last time you forgot something? What was it, and how long did it take to remember it?
Not to go for the obvious joke, but I honestly can't remember. I never forget birthdays, so it can't be that. Freya forgot to lock the back door when we went on holiday to Japan, but luckily she noticed after five minutes.

Dessert
Fill in the blank: I notice ____________ when _____________.
I notice my feet point inwards when I trip up over them.

Relax girls, he's engaged

As hinted previously, I am now engaged to Freya. This feels very good. But expect all of you are desperate to know how I proposed to her.

Being a very unimaginative person I was planning on just getting down on one knee and asking her. After chatting to Cathy online and putting a few comments on Momo's club wed/dread I realised that this wouldn't be that romantic or memorable. And the answer would definitely be no if I did this.

So I brainstormed* with Cathy some ideas for proposing. One good idea was to get a kitty and put the ring in it's collar, but seeing how I didn't want to get a ring without Freya choosing it this option wasn't wise. Plus I hadn't spoken to the landlord to check if we could get any animals. So that was out.

Cathy said check out some other engagement stories on the web. Most seemed to involve a little too much planning. I wasn't going to arrange to meet in a park and then have a billboard say 'Will you marry me?'. For a start, I'm not the most confident and also I'd like the act of proposing to be rather private**. Me and Freya are rather shy people, and whilst I like the idea of shouting out 'I LOVE THIS WOMAN!' I also know I'd be looking very sheepish afterwards, and when proposing it's best you don't look ashamed by it.

So it needed to be somewhere quiet, romantic, memorable and done in an imaginative way. Luckily I was going to Tokyo in May, so that could be pretty memorable. We might also be going to Mount Fuji so that could be quiet. Hopefully the act of proposing would be romantic in itself. Then I had a great lightbulb moment for making it imaginative.

I would get someone else to ask me. Funshine Bear, the care bear who I bought for Freya at the beginning of our relationship (after she complained about her Mum getting rid of her older one when she was young) could ask her via the use of Bob Dylan style sound cards. Cathy said this sounded good.

Then just as we were getting ready for Japan, Freya said something that made me worried. She'd been looking at Club wed/dread and thought it was good. Had she read my comments saying I was going to propose? I panicked and told Freya I had a surprise for her in Japan. This got her all excited. I knew this was bad when she mentioned it every hour on the train to the airport.

Checking my e-mail at the hotel before we flew out to Japan I had an e-mail from Momo (regarding the proposal). Freya saw this, but I told her it was private. And panicking I then told Freya that Momo said the surprise was stupid so I shouldn't go through with it. Sorry Momo, but I had to calm her down somehow.

Then we got to Japan, and I couldn't propose. How was I going to find somewhere quiet to propose in the busiest city on Earth? Luckily Freya helped by deciding that on Saturday we would go to Fuji Five Lakes in the shadow of Mount Fuji. Hmm, this could be the chance I was after...

So Saturday came & we got to Lake Kawaguchi, only to find that when sitting by the lake you couldn't see Fuji. Darn. There was a cable car, so perhaps if we went up there we could see it?

One cable car ride & we could.

Fuji looked beautiful. However, everyone on the cable car was milling around this area where a model of a raccoon was being tortured by a rabbit. Not terribly romantic. I could see a path leading further up. If I could persuade Freya to walk up there, maybe we would find a private clearing and I could say (or show) those words.


Yeah I guess that looks quite romantic.

We sat on the bench for a while taking in the view. Then I rummaged in my bag for the photos of Funshine (whilst sneakily getting on one knee).

"Freya, I've decided and I think you should have your surprise."

Freya looks at the first picture ("WHOOP! WHOOP!") and laughs.

The second picture ("Bear loves Schatz very much") got an "awww I love you too".

Third picture said "Will you marry me?". Freya was shocked, "Is this a joke?"

"I love you very much, will you marry me?"

"Of course!" She started to cry, lots. I welled up a bit too (strong men also cry). And I gave her a big hug and kissed her, lots.

The fourth picture ("Pleasey?") made her smile. But I think the third one was the best.

We sat on the bench for about five minutes just hugging each other and smiling.

Then some Japanese girls walked past and I press-ganged one of them into taking a picture of us:

See I'm even wearing a shirt so I look smart.

Then we decided to carve our initials into a tree. I think Freya was a bit annoyed I used our pet name initials rather than our proper ones, but it still looks good.


Now all we have to do is arrange the wedding. *Gulp*

* Great Ben, make it sound like a business meeting

** Which is why I'm blogging about it

I've got the runs

I'll write more about my amazing trip to Japan over the coming weeks, but for now I want to go on about before I got engaged and decided to play some football in a UK versus Sri Lanka match.

As regular readers might know, I'm not very fit. About every two months I mention that I should perhaps join a gym. I never do, but merely thinking about doing so is the closest I get the physical activity in those two months*. So when the chance to play in a football match came up I was reluctant to put my name forward. I should have remained reluctant.

One problem I had was that it was raining, not heavy rain but enough to make the grass slippy. The grass had also been recently cut causing further slippage. Finally I was playing in Converse one star trainers, which never have the best grip.

The result? 8-1 to us. Oh, and I fell over before even reaching a ball. I didn't feel too bad afterwards, but in the morning? It was hell. The next morning? Just as bad. This lasted for about 5 days after the match.

And walking all around Tokyo didn't help my legs too much either. At Enoshima my legs really started to hurt again.

So now I'm thinking of getting fit again. But I know I won't join a gym, so perhaps I should just start jogging. One thing I saw in Japan was Nike Plus. This is where Nike & Apple have joined forces so your ipod connects to your trainers and can tell you how far you've run through your headphones. I'm sure an expensive gadget like this will get me fit.

Problems? I'd have to buy an ipod nano, when I really want a video mp3 player. Also I've usually shyed away from ipods, due to them breaking after one year and one day (see also why I haven't bought an Xbox 360). And I've got a wedding to pay for, can't waste it on trying to get fit. But then shouldn't I look my best for the wedding? Argh, I don't know, I'm still jetlagged.

* Well not the closest, but I doubt you want to hear about the closest I get...

Back in the office

She said yes. More on how & where tomorrow. I'm exceptionally happy about it.

I will be out of office

from 03/05 to 17/05. As I will be in Japan.

This doesn't explain why I've hardly written anything for the past month, but expect a huge blog when I return.

Byeeeeeee!

Yes I am Stupid

So my head isn't getting bigger. The reason why my headphones weren't fitting over my ears was because the speakers can move up and down.

Yes I am Stupid.

California

So farewell The OC. You've been with me & Freya from the start of our relationship, but now we've outgrown you and we have to go our separate ways. I will remember you for the good things you brought us, Jim Robinson having another hilarious heart attack, Rachel Bilson dressed as Wonder Woman, the phrase "Fists of Fury", Wonder Woman, Peter Gallacher's amazing eyebrows, a Bagel Slicer and Rachel. Bilson. Dressed. As. Wonder. Woman.
But it did get very boring very quickly. This is mostly because as soon as a good character came into the show, they left almost as quickly without even a goodbye. As a memory test to myself I will try to remember their names and what they did.

THE OC MEMORY TEST

• Girl who fancied Seth & was love rival with Summer for the first series. Was called Anna.
• The Guy who was originally Marissa's boyfriend, then had affair with Marissa Mum, then found out his Dad was gay. Think he was called Luke.
• Girl who was Ryan's girlfriend then showed up in OC. Eventually had his baby, but nothing came of this. Melissa?
• Kiki's sister who fancied Tate Donovan. Claire?
• Kimberlee Clarke from Son Of The Beach. Kim?
• The guy who designed the comic with Seth, then fancied Summer. Logan?
• The girl who owned the Bronze style club, then turned Marissa lesbian. For about one episode. Alex.
• Jim from Neighbours long lost daughter who left him after three episodes of knowing him. Lauren?
• The guy who worked at the Newport Group that Kiki fancied. Dave.
• Sanford's first love. Who killed someone in the past. Marie.
• The pool boy. Sanchez.
• Johnny. The surfer who fancied Marissa.
• Even though he was getting off with Heather (a different one), who was the really cute girl in Freaks and Geeks.
• They were friends with S-Wick or some stupid nickname.
• Summers Dad was in it for about 2 episodes & about to marry Juju.

So seeing how it was only around for four series and it was only one hour a week, the OC got through more characters than Home and Away does in ten years.

Anyway, how did I do?

Anna - Correct!
Luke - Correct!
Melissa - False! Theresa
Claire - False! Hayley
Kim - False! Taryn
Logan - False! Zach
Alex - Correct!
Lauren - False! Lindsay
Dave - can't even find him
Marie - can't even find her
Sanchez - False! DJ
Johnny - Correct!
Heather - False! Casey
S-Wick - False! Chili
Summer's Dad - False! Dr Roberts

So you weren't that memorable after all The OC. And I forgot about the lawyer, seven of nine trying to con Kiki, the guy who ran over Marissa, the rich kid who was mental, Ryan's brother. So not memorable at all...


Oh yeah, apart from that.

Spelling confusion

Is it chocolatier or chocolateer? Either way I've been comissioned to make a special ringtone of someone saying this. I have no idea why someone would want "I'm a chocolate(e/i)r" to come out of their phone, but Goose wants it so that explains it a bit.

Actually I wish I had a proper nickname.

At school I was called 'little Ben' because there were two other Bens in my class and both were (no! but yes!) bigger than me. Then at Uni some guy decided to call me Bob. That just pissed me off. Why give me a nickname that was pretty much the same as my current name? Plus I don't really suit a Bob.

Recently people have called me Highbrow at work. I quite like this. Mostly because it's the name of an old Transformer. But also because it makes me sound clever. And giving the impression of being clever is much more important than actually knowing stuff. This is especially true for any exam you are taking.

Land of the free

I'm not like most British people. You see I like America. I realise it's bombing Iraq, has the most murders than anywhere else and is the main cause of global warming. But those people involved in that (George Bush I & II, er psychopaths and Corporate Scum) are idiots. Most of the Americans I've met online and offline are really charming, smart and actually get sarcasm.

American telly is great too. Whilst we have the political satire of Have I Got News For You which is on around 20 Fridays of the year, they have the equally biting Daily Show with Jon Stewart which is on almost every weekday.

Same with Coupling, a great BBC comedy which has had 3/4 series of 6 episodes each. The just as humorous, but more emotionally touching How I Met Your Mother has only been on for two series but has series of around 20 episodes.

I think it's because in England we only allow one person to write the whole series, but in America anyone can write something even if it's just one line.

And the dramas are far better than anything over here. The only thing I try to watch every week UK wise is Doctor Who. In American TV I have to watch Veronica Mars, The American Office*, Sopranos and Heroes.

Oh Heroes how I love you. I've been watching it since it started on Sci-Fi and it's much better than I thought it would be. Unlike Lost it's tying up loose ends as it goes along, but starting new ones to keep you interested. And Hiro Nakamura is the best character ever!

But one day our Sky Plus failed to record Heroes so I downloaded an episode off the net. There was one big difference to the one shown on UK telly. The catch up bit at the beginning was very over the top. On the UK version you get clips of what happened before, in America you get terribly over the top voice-over man. He says cheesy things like "One man, comes to terms with the fact that destiny lays in his hands, but is he aware of his powers?"

It made me cringe. Along with catching a bit of Bill O'Reilly on Fox News it's made me realise that most people in charge of American Networks don't appreciate how clever their viewers actually are and feel they have to spoonfeed them information. Although if they watch Bill O'Reilly they need shooting.

* Much funnier than the British one for many reasons, but the most important one is lack of Gervais. A man who I've never found that funny & appears to only have one character.

Toilet talk

I don't like using the toilets at work. Especially when you sit down and the seat is still warm. Eurgh.

Although sitting down and finding it freezing is pretty bad too.

Perhaps I'm the Goldilocks of toilet seats.

Time for a change...

...no more lyrics as titles

Not much to report, which is why I haven't reported.

Got annoyed with a supermarket chain which will be familar to readers of this blog as they didn't deliver the frozen food I ordered. I know, you're thinking "that's a bit lazy of you Ben and, urgh, this spot on my elbow's getting bigger should I squeeze it or not?".

Well you're wrong on both counts, you should never squeeze a spot (as the big scab on my forehead testifies) and because it costs five pounds for Freya & I to get a bus up to the Tesco's but only four quid for it to be delivered.

However we still needed the frozen stuff so I walked all the way there (thirty minutes). I'm such a hero.

its shiny its grimy...

...its so cold its so low

Four words that you have to add onto a sentence. Lloyd Andrew Lord Webber on his search for a new Joseph:

"I want a cross between Justin Timberlake and Michael Jackson in the old days"

Phew nearly put your foot in it Lloyd.

Walk out to winter...

...swear I'll be there

New work complicated.
Old work hard to handover.
Tiredness coming back.

That wasn't a haiku, but still it accurately summed up my past few days. I did have some interesting things to blog about, but forgot about them in the shower. And to stop boring you about videogames I've signed up to 1up.com.

My blog about videogames will now be seen at http://uppi17.1up.com. Hope to bore you there.

Do what you want...

...make the ("funsters" - ed) pay

I'm in a dilemma. I want to play an MMO, in particular World Of Warcraft, but the last time I tried it out (a free demo on PC Gamer) it went a bit like this:

Partario is created. Red hair is a must.

Partario waits to enter Darkspear

Partario waits some more. Alternate between the two pictures for about twelve minutes.

Partario enters the world. Has to kill wolves for some reason. Gets challenged to a duel. Runs away. Speaks to no-one.

So I didn't really enjoy my excursion into World of Warcraft. But I think it might have slightly been my fault. I definitely didn't go around chatting to the various people there. That's why I'm giving it one more chance. I'm having another 10 day trial and will go in with Uri Geller Noel Edmonds style positive thinking this time around. Who knows, I might like it?

Although it's mega annoying that I can only log on to European servers. World of Warcraft? Continent of Warcraft more like*.

* I used the 'joke' before on a message board, but stole it back. I'm not witty enough to lend jokes to just anyone.

Some people say that bowling alley's...

...got big lanes

One good reason as to why I should perhaps start attempting to get fit (yes it's this old argument again) - I wouldn't still be aching two days after bowling.

It's probably my own fault for choosing the heaviest ball, but surely my buttocks shouldn't hurt after that? Possibly too much information for you readers there.

Hey baby, how're ya doing...

...this beat is non stop

I feel foolish. I sent an e-mail to someone on a forum asking her a question because no-one had replied to my post (it was a question that should've been easily answered by people on there). Then I realised people had replied I just neglected to put the 'please e-mail me when people reply' function on.

Truly I am an idiot*.

It's the big company wide bowling tourney tomorrow. I feel confident that I will once again finish in the top 10 scorers. However I doubt my team is as good. Ah well. Booze will solve those worries.

* Also I've noticed that my tag for blogs about my idiocy actually say 'idocy'. This just goes to show something although I'm not sure what.

Hey (hey) You (you)...

...I don't like your girlfriend*

Coincidences are weird aren't they? Especially when you try to work them back and figure out how the coincidences started.

My most recent one involved me going into my local Borders and buying a copy of EGM that I found there. When I got home I read it and was really confused as it appeared to be talking about really old games like Dead Rising. Then I noticed it was dated August 2006, which meant it first came out around February 2006**. For some reason Borders must have been unable to offload them back to Ziff-Davis so kept them on the shelves for non-date checkers like myself.

But the coinkidink happened when I was listening to the latest EGMlive podcast and they spoke about the same issue. Wooooooo...

Although thinking about it, EGM talking about one of their old issues isn't that weird. Still it gave me the willies.

* Hey (hey) You (you) I don't like your new song, more like.

** Magazine scheduling joke.

Konnichiwa bitches...

...from Beijing to Saigon

"You know Ben, you talk to much"

It's true. For someone who considers himself to be shy I don't half rabbit on. It's a problem because I think sometimes I say things that I shouldn't just because I think I have to fill some blank airtime in.

Tomorrow I will try to speak only when spoken to. I bet I'll only say two words.

Still the fire of a love is true...

...and I would be breathless without you

Now I like puzzles*, but I don't like having to pay two pound fifty for six cards with brainteasers only to have the same ones keep coming up. That's why I got annoyed with perplexcity. The idea behind it was ok, but I felt a little annoyed that I couldn't spend a set amount for all the cards and then get confused by them. Plus there's the fact that after all that effort of making finding the cube really exciting with helicopters flying over people & phones ringing you up in a cinema it ended up being buried in a field. Bit boring that, I'd have thought they would've had it in some security place where you would need the password to get through. Ah well.

The perplex city board game looks like decent, but the whole point of board games is replayability. Knowing me, I'll probably look at all the questions and then annoy everyone by having the answers memorised.

Anyway, my point is that a cheaper brain teaser is in need for me. And I've found it. Say hello to Abstractica 2 ("Hello Abstractica 2!" - the readers). You have to work out the phrase for each level and type it in. If you're right you move onto the next level. If you're not you get annoyed and use the tip, or search on the forum for clues.

The puzzle below is one I was stuck on for ages, but have now completed.



If you can get it and found it fun then download the full game here. If you can't get it the answer is in the file name.

By the way I'm not taking responsibility if you get totally addicted to this and spend ages trying to solve 'one more level'. Like Freya and I just did.

Cheerio!

* But not spelling as I had written puzzels first.

Oh reckless...

...the boy wonder

Having lived in Germany for about seven years you'd expect me to have picked up a bit of German. You'd be wrong. Even going into a MacDonalds in Osnabruck I freeze when they ask me the German for "is this a takeaway".

It's more annoying though when I'm explaining something to someone and instead of the English word, "umleitung" enters my head and never leaves. The one German word that I can never forget. And it means diversion. Luckily I never have to create a diversion so I should be ok.

Bis bald!

The more money we come across...

...the more problems we see

I have a promotion. Well a trial promotion for six months and then it'll be permanent after that. Luckily no-one else went for the job so I didn't have any interviews to muck up.

If I didn't have man flu I would be drinking to celebrate. Maybe tomorrow.

I wish I had a bottle...

...right here in my dirty face

I am now on skype. Click here to give me a call. I have no idea if I'm being really stupid putting my details on here or not, but it's worth a risk.

Currently on my monitor at work I have a picture of Brian Clough giving the V sign to some people. Previously I've had Scarlett Johannson on there (in some pics with Woody Allen, Spongebob Squarepants or The Hoff) and also Frank Sidebottom, Boris Johnson, the Pipettes and Dick ("and" - ed) Dom.

I don't know why I told you that, just thought it will fill some space. Oh - now I remember. Should I replace my slightly offensive picture of a man swearing with a picture of Ash from Evil Dead II being strangled by his severed hand? That's a question everybody votes on the Wii won't give you.

I've got to get out of here...

...I've got to clear my head

Ergh. Along with my still feeling tired from staying up on Saturday night, I now have the sniffles. I'm such a trooper.

We listened to it twice...

...because the dj was asleep

OK, I'm still awake at half three. This time I had an excuse. I saw Jaws at half eleven and it finished at half one. It was good, but part way through I remembered - I'd already seen the ending. I'm not sure where or how, but I definitely saw the last five or so minutes.

The other problem was that the film must have been one used when Jaws first came out. It was skipping frames, the sound was really muffly and lines kept appearing on the screen.

The final problem was that it was shown at half eleven so my friend fell alseep right at the end and I was having to go back to my old uni tactics of staying awake.

Ah well. I enjoyed myself in spite of all these problems.

Can we fix it?

...yes we can!

After a day of worrying I fixed my PC's problem with finding the CD drive. Truly I am great. Or XP's driver rollback function is, I forget which.

Despite not having a working CD drive I still went to the shops and bought Farenheit and also Outrun 2006 : Coast ("to" - ed) Coast. I will be playing them over the weekend and give you my thoughts (or maybe Mick and Dave will).

Other than that I will be going to see Jaws for the first time ever. People may find this weird, but there's loads of other 'classic' films that I've never watched. They include: The Terminator, Scarface, Godfather and Goodfellas. But why watch them when there's Masters Of The Universe?

Oh and for those of you wanting to see my Friday Feast answers you'll be waiting a long time. I've given up on it, I'd much rather blather on about what I want rather than tell you funny words I said as a kid.

I'm free...

...to do whatever I

Damn, it didn't so now I even more tired, but won't get to sleep as I'll be worrying about this rubbish PC. Bum.

How sweet...

...to be an idiot

Right, I'm tired and I should have been in bed about an hour ago. But due to a dodgy tummy I stayed up. If I hadn't done that I would have wasted about fifty quid buying stuff on ebay and itunes that I don't want, and the main reason I bought them was because I was tired & couldn't think straight. Man, I really am stupid and should just do what Freya says for the rest of my life.

And now for some reason my pc doesn't recognise it's CD drive. What the? Hopefully a quick reboot will get it working again.

Rolling like thunder...

...under the covers

According to a study* you're a much better surgeon if you play video games. I can sort of understand that, particularly for the surgery where you're doing it by joystick (except they should now use a stylus or wireless nunchuck, natch).

I only wish that playing games could somehow make me a better accountant. Except the only games I can think of that would help me understand accounting & numbers better would be Football Manager and World of Warcraft. And they're boring enough without doing them for work.

Oh, and what's that at the end of the article? "...the Royal College of Surgeons said research, [done by someone else], showed no correlation between video games and performance in surgery." So that article I spent five minutes blogging about was rubbish? Ah well, such is life.

I watched the first episode of Heroes today. It was good.

* To be seen in full here:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/science/story/0,,2016992,00.html)

Up up down down left right left right B A start...

...Just because we use cheats doesn't mean we're not smart

Number one in a very small list of reasons why I'd drag up



Full story http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/6367631.stm

Does she walk...

...Does she talk?

Friday Feast no. 7

Appetizer
What sound, other than the normal ringing, would you like your telephone to make?

It already does it, Curb Your Enthusiasm theme for 'normal' calls and the How I Met Your Mother theme when Freya rings.

Soup
Describe your usual disposition in meteorological terms (partly cloudy, sunny, stormy, etc.).
Cold front, warm heart.

Salad
What specific subject do you feel you know better than any other subjects?
Erm. I don't know. I consider myself more of a jack of all trades than a master of one. The one that I'm best at is Mathematics, but I'm sure loads of people are better at it than me.

Main Course
Imagine you were given the ability to remember everything you read for one entire day. Which books/magazines/newspapers would you choose to read?
All of Amiga Power but I think I can remember all of them already without that special ability. Other than that some quotation book so I could annoy people with some extraordinarily pithy comment that relates to what they're doing.

Dessert
If a popular candy maker contacted you to create their next confection, what would it be like and what would you name it?
I actually had an idea for one when I was about seven/eight. It involved taking all the sweets I liked and merging them together. The main base was Opal Fruits (now called Starburst) and I think it had bits of Refreshers on there. It might also have had some chocolate on there so it would've actually been disgusting. Luckily I never made it myself.

Darlin' don't you go and cut your hair...

...Do you think it's going to make him change?

As the lyric above* hints at I had my hair cut. As usual it was cut by the lovely Gemma and as usual I realised I have a little crush on her. I've realised that Gemma's the girl I'd go out with if I enjoyed going out more than staying in.

She's more of a stay out girl than Freya, who prefers staying in and snuggling. That's the way I prefer it. I'm much happier staying in & watching the telly than going out to a bar until ten, then clubbing until two, then waking up at eight to go to work. But sometimes I wonder what it would be like if Freya & I went out every night.

The answer is we'd be poor, not going to Japan, not living in a nice house** and I wouldn't be with the Schatz I love.

I feel bad for the poor guy who sent Gemma roses & asked her out last week. She told me she would've preferred Jelly Babies.

* Which I think I've used before

** Aside from the loud neighbours

She is one in a million...

...with lips of vermillion

So poker eh? I realised why I'm no good at it - I have no patience. On Thursday I went to a poker night with some people from work. To be honest I didn't really want to be there - I was tired and it was icy so I was nearly falling over with every step I took. I didn't want to pull out and let everyone down. So I showed up to find two people had pulled out. Grrrr.

I quite enjoyed the poker, and did some good hands but it got boring for me really quickly. I wasn't drinking (self-enforced to try & stop my migraines and unfortunately it appears to be working) and me doing the same thing for 3 hours really bores me. So when someone went all in with all the cards on the table and I had absolutely nothing I went in too. I wanted to go home and it was a small price to pay.

Work colleagues are now teasing me about how rubbish I am, but I knew that anyway. The moral of this story? Gambling is wrong. Unless I win the lottery tonight.

It's so nice, I had to name it twice...

...I called it Reggae Reggae Sauce

Remind me to write about how rubbish I am at poker. But first...

Friday Feast No. 6

Appetizer
Have you been sick yet this winter? If so, what did you come down with?
Just general sniffles. Nothing so bad that I've had to stay off work unfortunately. I've got four days holiday next week so I'm expecting a major cold to hit then!


Soup
What colours dominate your closet?
In work terms it's black suits and white shirts. In leisure terms it's mostly beige, and greens. Although I wear more greens than beiges at the moment. (Beige was so last century for me, just haven't got rid of them).

Salad
How would you describe your personal "comfort zone"?
Staying at home, doodling about. Anything that involves me getting out and talking to strangers is way out of my comfort zone. Interview tip: Mentioning about how you've been trying to push yourself and get out of your comfort zone really impresses interviewers.

Main Course
On which reality show would you really like to be a contestant?
I couldn't see myself being on any reality tv show. Perhaps when I was a teenager I would've liked the one I've read about when some kids are going to lose their virginities to porn stars. But when I was a teenage I would've lost my virginity to anyone.

Dessert
Which holiday would you consider to be your favorite?
I'm expecting this holiday I'm having in May to be my best ever. My first one to a country in the Far East. It'll blow my mind being somewhere with a totally different culture, language and style. Yep, Japan should be good. Previously though, it was Florida where I flew by myself but met up with my family there. Disneyland and Universal Studios is always fun.

ABC, 123, XYZ...

...but he don't know about XTC

Regular readers may have noticed I've changed my last.fm chart about four times in the past week. This is because my top ten bands consisted of one band on two plays and then nine on one play. So I changed it to latest tracks. But because my old style said top ten at the top I had to change it.

The first one was too big for the sidebar.

The next didn't look that good.

The third one appeared just right, and it was based on Metric. But then I noticed it only had enough space for about eleven characters per play so it said "Bran Van 3000- Ever" instead of "Bran Van 3000 - Everywhere".

So I've settled for one with Scarlett Johannson in. It'll get me in trouble with Freya as she detests her with a passion. I don't know why as I think Scarlett's gorgeous... Oh wait, I think I get it now.

Start me up...

...if you start me up you never stop

Oh yea-uh! Mick Jagger here! I'm a-uh fa-uh-ous rock star, I've sold concerts all over the world, been some (mumbles) films. But I'm here to tell you something. A-uh rock star has been telling you-uh some myths.

Not Bono! Not this time-uh, but David Bowie.

He's been telling you-uh that Elite Beat Agents was rubbish. That if it was a Rolling Stones album it would be our-uh latest album (whatever that was called). But it's not. It's the equivalent of Sticky Fingers.

It's really that good. Oh yea-uh! It's just really addictive, and every time you get stuck on a song you seem to get slightly further each time. That makes it really addictive.

David's slightly correct in that some charm is lost by the move to English songs & lyrics in that the song doesn't necessarily-uh relate to what the cartoon is about but who knows if that wasn't the case with the Japanese one? The song where you help the kid pass his exam could have had lyrics where 'love conquers all'.

But all the songs-uh do have a good beat to them and then never outstay their welcome. So I'd recommend that you ignore what Mr. Jones said and instead go out and buy Elite Beat Agents for the Nintendo DS. As soon as it comes out in the UK.

Plus Jumping Jack Flash saves the world so I could never insult a game that does that..

Oh yea-uh!!!

And so...

...he forgot, he forgot, maybe not

I was going to let a guest speaker talk to you today (I'm trying to write an entry every day this month*) but he's still preparing for his entry into blogging. You may have heard of him though and it's slightly related to the previous guest speaker I had here if that makes up your mind that you should definitely stay away tomorrow.

In job news I didn't get the job at Gamestation. Apparently they promoted internally instead. This makes me think that they were going to do this all along so I went to two interviews for absolutely no reason. My conclusion is that Gamestation are rubbish. Perhaps being overly pessimistic about video games retailers chances of survival in the download age didn't help either. Ah well.

Other job news is that I'm staying in my current role, rather than joining another team internally. Mostly this is due to the fact that people high up said they'd like me to stay so I felt wanted, but also because there's more people in my current team and therefore more chances of promotion. I'm such a merc.

In good news for blogging I think I'll not be having any more interviews for a while so I can self-indulgently ramble about slightly more interesting stuff.

Cheerio!

* Except for the First, where I forgot to do it.

There's an old man sitting next to me...

...making love to his tonic and gin

My life is constantly like a film. Usually it's Office Space, but over the weekend it's been Army Of Darkness.

Specifically it's the scene after Ash swallows a mini version of himself. Yes, I have an eyelid on the side of my neck. Well, not really, it's just a really large spot but it sure feels as though an extra head is trying to push its way through.

I'm trying not to squeeze it, but I'm sure in the morning I'll change my mind.

Look I can't watch you...

...sleepwalking through this

It's five to midnight and I should be asleep. Instead I have been browsing the internet for around two hours and done absolutely nothing useful with that time. I am sorry Freya I should have just stayed in bed. Especially considering I was knackered from about 8 onwards.

Clarity...

...just confuses me*

In York, as in most cities in the UK, there are people that stop you in the street to tell you about charities. Like most British people I avoid these people. I'm not really sure why I don't stop and talk to them, I just know it'll depress me somehow.

And yesterday I did talk to one and I was right with my original assumptions.

It was my own fault, I was distracted after buying some headache tablets that I really needed to take soon so didn't notice the girl coming up in front of me. Then when she said "Hello" I thought she was trying to chat me up as she looked rather cute. By the time I got close to her and noticed she wasn't that cute (too spotty around the chin) or actually just talking to me because I looked nice I couldn't get away.

She told me about the charity she was working for in her lovely Nor'n Irish accent**. (Instead of volunteering to pester people she was actually being paid to do this.) And the charity did sound useful, although her speech sounded a bit rehearsed and too prepared. Then she started asking me how much money I could give. After a really lame joke ("Surely you can give fifty quid a week?") she decided on the price of a beer a week.

Now I would have been happy to give two quid a week to that charity, but after I'd done some research into them, and I told Nor'n Irish Girl that. She didn't really accept that as an answer and asked me again for my name, address and bank details. I didn't want to give my details out to anyone in the street whether they worked for a charity or not.

Nor'n Irish Girl tried a different tack "But you don't mind giving your bank details to shops? Or on the internet?" That argument didn't really fly with me, as at least when I give my bank card to a shop I have to put my pin in and when I buy stuff online I check the company out thoroughly.

She tried again, "You'll get a welcome pack discussing what we do, and you'll get a phone call where you can cancel the direct debit". Considering she told me they were meant to be cutting down on admin costs I found a welcome pack a bit of a silly thing to have, but I kept that quiet.

In addition to that if I was to give to a charity I wouldn't want to have the money to go out of my bank account. I'd use Give As You Earn. With this the money come out of your gross salary so if you donate ten pounds a month it only results in you losing seven pounds out of your net salary, due to tax relief.

Eventually I managed, by having to get really, really mardy, into allowing her to let me go. But I could tell she wasn't happy about letting me go without getting my details. Perhaps she was interested in me for my looks? I reckon she would've got a cut of my donation though, chicks eh? Only interested in your money.

* The closest lyric that mentions Charity that I could find.

** I'm not joking about this. The Northern Irish accent is really wonderful to me. Probably only second to the proper Irish accent. Any country where you can't just say "Thanks" but have to say "Thanks a million" has to be great.

If love is a drug...

...I guess we're all sober

Friday Feast No. 5 (written before I leave for work)

Appetizer
What was one of the fashion fads when you were a teenager?
Shellsuits. I lived in Germany growing up so it was unusual if you weren't wearing anything that didn't look absolutely awful.

Soup
Name one thing you think people assume about you when they first meet you.
That I'm quiet. Which I am, but only when I first know someone. Then I'm loud, but still don't talk so much.

Salad
On a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being highest, how hard do you work?
Currently 8. Was about 5 at the end of last year.

Main Course
If you were given a free 30-second commercial during the Super Bowl to sell anything you currently own, what would you advertise?

Cricket. It's a hard sell to the Americans I know, but I'm sure a 30-second advert would turn things around!

Dessert
Fill in the blank: I love to ________ when it is _________.
I love to fill in blanks when it is Friday Feast time. Sorry, brain freeze on the last one again, this always happens to me.

Someone took...

...In these pants

I think I've finally decided what job I want to be doing. And it's the same one I'm doing now.

My second interview at the Videogames stores Head Office went well, but I was a bit disillusioned by the benefits they had on offer. Which was no pension, no shares and a bonus (but they couldn't give me an idea as to how much that would be). I did get a 25% discount on games, but I realised that in order to get the same benefits as I do at my current employers I would have to buy about four thousand games a year.

So that leaves me with either staying where I am, or the job where I work for six months & then perhaps get a promotion at the end of that. And looking at it sensibly the new team has only four people in and therefore little promotion opportunities whereas my current team is around 20/30 people strong.

Looking at my opportunities it's best that I stick where I am. Bit of a surprise to come to that conclusion considering I really hated my job a couple of months ago, but I think that was just boredom. I'm doing more important work now and I think it's getting appreciated by everyone. I also liked it when big important managers came up and said they'd like me to stay. Which was nice.

In other news my old college where I studied for my accounting qualifications are using pictures of me to show how successful they are. Scary. But I expect lots of girls will now study there just on the off chance that they might see me. Sorry girls, I've got a girlfriend!

Come on Jessica, Come on Tori...

...Let's go to the mall, you won't be sorry

Things I meant to blog about over the past few days but forgot:

• Planning on starting a new regular slot, have no real idea what it will contain but expect to do it monthly. So hopefully will have it in place by Thursday.
• Got the internal job, but because I was rubbish in the interview I'm on my old salary for six months & it'll go up if I do well (which I will, natch).
• But! I'm still in the reckoning for the Video Game Retailer job and I have a second interview for that on Tuesday. I think if they offer me it I'll accept. This is why I still haven't accepted the internal role.
• However! My current team might also offer me a higher role, due to the fact that there will be no-one left who knows anything about the unique features in Distribution (three people have/are moving internally, one left and two are pregnant - which would leave me)
• I had major problems getting a Belkin wi-fi adapter working on my network, so I got a Netgear one instead. Everything works fine now.
• Forest are rubbish. But hopefully we'll get promotion.
• The people next door are really into their music & play their instruments (which sound great). But why play them at eleven at night! Come on guys...
• I've been spending too much time playing New Star Soccer. But scoring goals for my club is too addictive.
• PC Format is rubbish. I knew this yet still bought it. Therefore I am rubbish too.

Cheerio!

One is the loneliest number...

...that you'll ever know

And also how well I'd rate my performance in my interview today. I was rubbish. I got across that I can do reports easily enough, but not that I can talk to people as well. The interviewers spoke to my manager afterwards though (it was an internal role) and it seemed as though what they wanted me to do was work similar to someone currently two levels above me. I wish people would point this stuff out before I interview for things. Grrr.

The interview yesterday was different as well. I felt it went ok, but I'm not too sure as the interviewers didn't really give me much clues as to whether my answers were good or not. The company was a lot different to my current employers.

I think the first thing that showed they were a different kind of company was the Xbox 360 in the reception. And then the signed autograph of Charles Martinet on the wall. Yes, very different to the leaflets advertising pensions in our reception.

The company I went for is one of the main videogames retailers in the UK. This is pretty much an ideal job for me. A way of making accounting (slightly) interesting. I love games and I think the company is much better than it's rivals. So why in the interview did I say I like games but haven't bought a new console because of the HDTV issue? I did at least say I had a DS lite. You fool Ben.

Hopefully I'll get a second interview and then I'll go in a Sensible Soccer t-shirt.

Eggs I really love you...

...Like the sky above

Re-reading my last post & it doesn't make much sense. I can't even use being drunk as an excuse for it as I wasn't. And I won't be again for a while. I've decided to give up the demon booze. It's been on the cards for a while. At Christmas I drank for the first day we were in Germany and then never again for the rest of the trip.

And I've never really enjoyed getting drunk. Sure I've had fun, but I think it's the kind of fun I'd have enjoyed without drink anyway. And the hangovers! On my Dad's side of the family we've never really got on well with hangovers. Even on three beers I've woken up feeling rather rubbish.

The tipping point was on Friday. I went out for a few beers and it was good, but I came home feeling a bit dodgy. Then when we went to sleep I just couldn't. I had to get up and play on the pc until about 1am. Which is not good, even on a weekend.

So now I won't be drinking for a while. I doubt I'll miss it. Even on nights out I should be able to have fun without drink. Let's see how long it'll last.

In other news 1up has a good website about free games on the pc. Have only played one - the phone. It's good but rather short. I'm quite intrigued by the Hitchikers remake which rather appeals to the geek in me*.

* And I need to go on about the geek in me in another post.

You say I've nothing left...

...to offer you now

One good thing that came from my interview on Friday (other than the fact the interview went well) was that I remembered how much I loved theaudience. I listened to their songs all the way home on the bus.

I can't really remember why I got into theaudience. I expect it was because I read that a cute girl was their lead singer. That usually got me into liking bands. And it still does (see The Pipettes, CSS, Metric, Long Blondes). But, as with the other bands, I found that I liked theaudience's music as well. More than I found their singer cute.

I recommend you go find their music, it's jangly britpop era but with smarts*. If they're available anywhere. Or ask me to send you some of their tunes.

I even made a website about them, but it got lost in the internet. Perhaps I should bring it back, even if no-one would look at it. I'd know it was there & that's the important thing.

Oh and here's a picture of the lead singer, scanned by my own fair hand.



* Now you know why I don't review music on here

Hey...

...I don't want to go to work today

But I did anyway. The desk move wasn't so bad. I feel a little exposed as loads of people walk behind me to get to the lifts now, but other than that it's ok.

I didn't get the job in Tadcaster I was applying for. Which is not good. But the only reason I didn't get it was because I didn't have the right experience. Apparently I gave a really great interview and the person who interviewed me was really upset to not be able to offer me the job.

Ah well.

It's annoying though that I've given two good interviews only to fail on experience. Surely they should be able to get that information from my CV? And haven't I done this rant before?

Without despair...

...we will share

Someone thinks I'm funny. Well my Dad is anyway.

Nineteen...

...You're only nineteen for God's sake

My blogging has slowed a bit since January has started. But my job situation looks slightly more promising. I had an interview today and for the first time I felt as though I got all my points across. It helps when the person interviewing shows up on time.

Which wasn't the case when I met up with a recruitment agency in the afternoon. After showing up at 3.30 the bloke I was meeting showed up at 3.50. Remember back in December I didn't show up for a meeting? Well now I know how that guy felt. And I will never be late for a meeting again. Unless I forget.

However as I had absolutely nothing to do I gave the guy the benefit of the doubt and heard what he had to say. Not a lot as it turns out, recruitment people are very boring and only interested in getting you a job without really caring what job you're after. They might say they only want what's best for you, but they're after the commission aren't they?

What do I hear, what do I hear...?

...Chit-chat, and clinking glass

We booked out trip to Japan yesterday. I'm getting very excited about it.

It'll be our first 'proper' holiday together. We went to Malta in 2004, but that was a short break away and everyone spoke English so you didn't feel as though you were in a foreign country. Apart from the heat.

Looking at the calendar we're going over on a Japanese bank holiday which is called "the holiday between two holidays". So hopefully the trains will be working and my brain will remember enough words to get us to the hotel in one piece.

I think the day after we get there (5th May) is the day that inspires all of Animal Crossing to get paper carp and have them as flag outside their houses. So that should be fun. Children's day I think it is called.

Freya's been getting me ready for Japanese food by cooking a miso soup sort of meal. It was really scrummy. But seeing how I hate sushi, I think eating noodles in soup everyday may get boring. Any people got any ideas on other japanese foods I might like?

More than words...

...is all you have to do to make it real

I'm trying to smarten my blog up a bit. Mostly by adding an RSS feed (subscribe now readers!) and also by adding a twitter thingy that allows me to do small updates on what I'm doing.

Already I have a twitter 'follower' and I'm freaked out by that. Mostly because she's a cute girl and I always worry about them. Her name is sara18sexxx and that freaks me out even more. Freaky in a bad way, natch.

And now I have a friend apparently on twitter. Who's also in Italy. Why am I suddenly attractive to Italians of both sexes. Must be the jelly I have in front of me on my twitter avatar.

Found something crying...

...it was my soul

Friday Feast No. 4

Appetizer
Which celebrity (or celebrities) do you think will make headlines this year?
Michael Jackson. It's a given really, isn't it?

Soup
They say that good things come in small packages? What is something little that you think is great?
Nintendo DS.

Salad
Name a song that makes you want to dance.

Pull shapes by The Pipettes.

I love doing the washing up and dancing to this.

Main Course
What is your favorite font?
Courier, as it's typewriter style.

Dessert
If you were to write a do-it-yourself article, what would it be about?
How not to get a promotion.

Alala, Alala...

...Give me three wishes

Remember how I was saying I kept feeling really tired at work?

I've solved this problem (fingers crossed) by returning to my unhealthy lifestyle. So now I have a Coke at lunch rather than more water and instead of porridge for breakfast I have two slices of toast.

Could it be that my body has got so used to my unhealthy lifestyle that it rejects any attempts to be healthy?

Perhaps joining a gym will cause me to collapse to fall and have a seizure on the floor. Before I get on the treadmill.

Ooh my little pretty one...

...my pretty one. When're ya gonna give me some time Sharona?

In a weird desk-calendar-imitating-life situation I will be moving desks at work. As is happening on the Dilbert calendar I got from Secret Santa. Although I won't be working in an ice cube, having my PC nicked or having to cover myself in butter so I'll fit into my cubicle*, it's still pretty bad.

See I'll be working on Rejects Row in two weeks time.

The desk move is apparently the first step to seat our two new teams together. Currently we're in three different places. So team A will be sat together and team B will be sat together. Unfortunately there's not enough space for all of team B (my team) to be sat together, so some of B will have to be sat with A. I am one of the people.

Now this wouldn't be too bad (we've only got seconds between us) except the only people who've been separated from team B are those who have been given temporary (or interim as management like to call it) jobs. Making us feel even less a part of team B than we did originally.

Nice work pointy-haired boss.

Oh and remember how I said they called us interim workers rather than temporary staff for PC reasons? Well on this desk plan I and my other interim workers had (T) by our names and the permanent people had (P).

Amazing work pointy haired boss.

* As we don't have cubicles. I'll still be covering myself in butter though.