Friday, April 27, 2007

Yes I am Stupid

So my head isn't getting bigger. The reason why my headphones weren't fitting over my ears was because the speakers can move up and down.

Yes I am Stupid.

Thursday, April 26, 2007


So farewell The OC. You've been with me & Freya from the start of our relationship, but now we've outgrown you and we have to go our separate ways. I will remember you for the good things you brought us, Jim Robinson having another hilarious heart attack, Rachel Bilson dressed as Wonder Woman, the phrase "Fists of Fury", Wonder Woman, Peter Gallacher's amazing eyebrows, a Bagel Slicer and Rachel. Bilson. Dressed. As. Wonder. Woman.
But it did get very boring very quickly. This is mostly because as soon as a good character came into the show, they left almost as quickly without even a goodbye. As a memory test to myself I will try to remember their names and what they did.

  • Girl who fancied Seth & was love rival with Summer for the first series. Was called Anna.
  • The Guy who was originally Marissa's boyfriend, then had affair with Marissa Mum, then found out his Dad was gay. Think he was called Luke.
  • Girl who was Ryan's girlfriend then showed up in OC. Eventually had his baby, but nothing came of this. Melissa?
  • Kiki's sister who fancied Tate Donovan. Claire?
  • Kimberlee Clarke from Son Of The Beach. Kim?
  • The guy who designed the comic with Seth, then fancied Summer. Logan?
  • The girl who owned the Bronze style club, then turned Marissa lesbian. For about one episode. Alex.
  • Jim from Neighbours long lost daughter who left him after three episodes of knowing him. Lauren?
  • The guy who worked at the Newport Group that Kiki fancied. Dave.
  • Sanford's first love. Who killed someone in the past. Marie.
  • The pool boy. Sanchez.
  • Johnny. The surfer who fancied Marissa.
  • Even though he was getting off with Heather (a different one), who was the really cute girl in Freaks and Geeks.
  • They were friends with S-Wick or some stupid nickname.
  • Summers Dad was in it for about 2 episodes & about to marry Juju.
So seeing how it was only around for four series and it was only one hour a week, the OC got through more characters than Home and Away does in ten years.

Anyway, how did I do?

- Correct!
Luke - Correct!
Melissa - False! Theresa
Claire - False! Hayley
Kim - False! Taryn
Logan - False! Zach
Alex - Correct!
Lauren - False! Lindsay
Dave - can't even find him
Marie - can't even find her
Sanchez - False! DJ
Johnny - Correct!
Heather - False! Casey
S-Wick - False! Chili
Summer's Dad - False! Dr Roberts

So you weren't that memorable after all The OC. And I forgot about the lawyer, seven of nine trying to con Kiki, the guy who ran over Marissa, the rich kid who was mental, Ryan's brother. So not memorable at all...

Oh yeah, apart from that.

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Spelling confusion

Is it chocolatier or chocolateer? Either way I've been comissioned to make a special ringtone of someone saying this. I have no idea why someone would want "I'm a chocolate(e/i)r" to come out of their phone, but Goose wants it so that explains it a bit.

Actually I wish I had a proper nickname.

At school I was called 'little Ben' because there were two other Bens in my class and both were (no! but yes!) bigger than me. Then at Uni some guy decided to call me Bob. That just pissed me off. Why give me a nickname that was pretty much the same as my current name? Plus I don't really suit a Bob.

Recently people have called me Highbrow at work. I quite like this. Mostly because it's the name of an old Transformer. But also because it makes me sound clever. And giving the impression of being clever is much more important than actually knowing stuff. This is especially true for any exam you are taking.

Saturday, April 21, 2007

Land of the free

I'm not like most British people. You see I like America. I realise it's bombing Iraq, has the most murders than anywhere else and is the main cause of global warming. But those people involved in that (George Bush I & II, er psychopaths and Corporate Scum) are idiots. Most of the Americans I've met online and offline are really charming, smart and actually get sarcasm.

American telly is great too. Whilst we have the political satire of Have I Got News For You which is on around 20 Fridays of the year, they have the equally biting Daily Show with Jon Stewart which is on almost every weekday.

Same with Coupling, a great BBC comedy which has had 3/4 series of 6 episodes each. The just as humorous, but more emotionally touching How I Met Your Mother has only been on for two series but has series of around 20 episodes.

I think it's because in England we only allow one person to write the whole series, but in America anyone can write something even if it's just one line.

And the dramas are far better than anything over here. The only thing I try to watch every week UK wise is Doctor Who. In American TV I have to watch Veronica Mars, The American Office*, Sopranos and Heroes.

Oh Heroes how I love you. I've been watching it since it started on Sci-Fi and it's much better than I thought it would be. Unlike Lost it's tying up loose ends as it goes along, but starting new ones to keep you interested. And Hiro Nakamura is the best character ever!

But one day our Sky Plus failed to record Heroes so I downloaded an episode off the net. There was one big difference to the one shown on UK telly. The catch up bit at the beginning was very over the top. On the UK version you get clips of what happened before, in America you get terribly over the top voice-over man. He says cheesy things like "One man, comes to terms with the fact that destiny lays in his hands, but is he aware of his powers?"

It made me cringe. Along with catching a bit of Bill O'Reilly on Fox News it's made me realise that most people in charge of American Networks don't appreciate how clever their viewers actually are and feel they have to spoonfeed them information. Although if they watch Bill O'Reilly they need shooting.

* Much funnier than the British one for many reasons, but the most important one is lack of Gervais. A man who I've never found that funny & appears to only have one character.

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Toilet talk

I don't like using the toilets at work. Especially when you sit down and the seat is still warm. Eurgh.

Although sitting down and finding it freezing is pretty bad too.

Perhaps I'm the Goldilocks of toilet seats.

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Time for a change... more lyrics as titles

Not much to report, which is why I haven't reported.

Got annoyed with a supermarket chain which will be familar to readers of this blog as they didn't deliver the frozen food I ordered. I know, you're thinking "that's a bit lazy of you Ben and, urgh, this spot on my elbow's getting bigger should I squeeze it or not?".

Well you're wrong on both counts, you should never squeeze a spot (as the big scab on my forehead testifies) and because it costs five pounds for Freya & I to get a bus up to the Tesco's but only four quid for it to be delivered.

However we still needed the frozen stuff so I walked all the way there (thirty minutes). I'm such a hero.