Friday, April 21, 2006

The tower of power...

...too sweet to be sour. Funky like a monkey. Ooooh yeah.

Looking at the 24 review I did makes me feel ill. Because it's rubbish. Perhaps I should've written it down first. Planning is key. Much like the exam I keep failing to become a qualified accountant.

And I need to pass this exam. Not because I'll have no more to do, but because I have promised to get myself either an Xbox 360 or a DS lite when I pass it.

But which should I get? I am torn between the two so I am allowing you, the reader of this blog, or you, the fragdoll forumers to decide. By the time of my exam (May 25th) I will collate all the votes and then start saving my pennies towards that console.

Not to sway you either way, but this is what I think of the two:

Xbox 360

  • Live is meant to be excellent. I've kind of played it, but not yet had the full experience.
  • However, Live costs money whereas the DS' online is free.
  • Graphics are amazing & the speed is impressive.
  • However, a £1,000 HD telly is needed & I won't be getting one of them for about three years.
  • GRAW and Oblivion appear to be wicked cool
  • However I've around eight games for the original Xbox that I still haven't completed. Why do I need new games, shouldn't I complete my old ones first? (I haven't even Beyond Good & Evil yet)
  • Although let's be honest, I'm never going to complete Ninja Gaiden

DS Lite

  • It's not out yet & may not even be available on results day in June
  • Freya would like Animal Crossing & Nintendogs
  • However seeing as I can't get near the gamecube as she's always playing AC I may not get near the DS
  • It can't play videos like the PSP & doesn't have GTA
  • But it will have online Pro Evo
  • I could get cleverer by using Brain Training
  • Mario Kart on the toilet
  • Wario Ware Twisted may finally be out in June - it's been one whole year Nintendo!

The choice is yours...

Monday, April 17, 2006

They call me Mr. Carbohydrate...

...They call me Mister Inadequate

As per usual I'm up far too late and I'm ill. This time I have a bit of a sore throat so I have snucked away from Freya and got some water for my tablets.

Had a good bank holiday weekend. Mum & Dad came over. Saw Andrew & Joe (and Andrew's plastic fantastic gf & her unruly kids). And saw my Grandma & Dennis for the first time in years. All in all a good weekend.

However, I need bed.

Saturday, April 15, 2006

I'd rather Jack...

...than Fleetwood Mac. Aka the 24 mobile game review.

The problem with games nowadays is they are far too complicated. Take The Warriors which if it were made 10 years ago it would be a button basher similar to Final Fight, but has now been made as a part-button basher, part stealth 'em up, part annoying running into the camera/running into fences straight in front of you which if the camera were only the other way around you'd see easily. However despite this The Warriors is excellent. It's one of the few games I've completed recently. 24 is the other.

One of the reasons I felt compelled to complete The Warriors was that it felt just like the movie. 24 feels absolutely nothing like the tv show. I just completed it as I needed something to do on the toilet at work.

It's a hark back to the Ocean 8/16 bit multi level film tie ins. The added advantage is that the loading times for each level are about 5 seconds instead of 5 minutes. The disadvantage is that it you have to use the number pad of your phone to play - surely the most annoying control method since the PS2 dual shock pad.
Quick Jack! Hide behind those bookshelves...
They'll never see you there!

It doesn't help that all the games were programmed by people with absolutely no idea of how to make a game playable. The logic puzzles (based on Lights out, basic code breaking and a simple follow the line task) are perfectly serviceable, the driving game are ok (except you have to keep pressing up to accelerate), the action bits are rubbish.

In the main action bit pressing right makes you keep going to the right with no way of stopping unless you change directions or hit something else. The baddies just wander in a direct way to yourself unless a shelf is in the way in which case they just stand there. Through lots of practise you can work out there's a place to wait, occasionally peeking out then running back to the hidey hole waiting for the baddy, shooting them and so on. But for the casual gamer it's going to be impossible for someone to work this out.
The slightly annoying driving bit. Annoying as by accelerating you
put yourself at the top of the screen. Right where the other cars
are coming in.

The stealth bits are also rubbish for people unable to put the hours in. For the first few goes I tried the most direct route, only to eventually discover there was a few safer path just a few steps below.

In your role as a CTU agent you get to allocate agent to the different areas. The game makes careful note to "choose people by their attributes". This would be useful if it actually said what each area entailed. Instead you have to decide whether Chloe or Jack is best suited to the Docks or Club 54. The best example of this is where each area is called Radio Tower and you have to select a person for each area. Once again the game is eliminating all the people who can't be arsed to memorise what levels are contained in each area.

This is why I hate it. And the plot is rubbish too. However you can name your character, so plus points for allowing yourself to be called Agent Osama. That's where he is Bushy!
Probably the best bit of the game - the return of the Elder Puzzle.

Friday, April 07, 2006

If you could change the world with a flick of a switch;

Would you do it? (yeahyeahyeahyeahyeahyeahyeahyeah)

No one tells a Mighty Being how to solve a maze.

24 mobile phone review up tomorrow!

Monday, April 03, 2006

I've got bottles and cans of food...

...filtered water & pictures of you.

Ok so it's 3.30am and once again I should be in bed (sorry Freya) but I've got severe insomnia. Instead of snoozing I've been looking for new redheads to go along with my old list. The original list can be found here.

So who should be included in the new one then? I am proud to display... new hot redheads:

  • Alyson Hannigan - how I missed her off the first redheads list I don't know. She's one of the first redheads I ever had a crush on
  • Molly from the faders - look at the picture on the profile! Twirling the hair in her hand & huuuuge expressive eyes, just what I like
  • Julianne Moore - along with Alyson another one I missed off the first list. A sophisticated actress, who also got her kit off in Boogie Nights
  • Lindsay Lohan - She's become progressively worse since she got rid of the gingery-ness. Blonde just doesn't suit the freckles. Crap actress though
  • Lita - Possibly another one I left off the original list. However not impressed with the fake boobs, possibly see Linsday Lohan
  • Jenny Lewis - I don't know if you'd call her a redhead, but there's a definite tinge there. And she's definitely cute
  • Justine Joli - Well she's a rudie movie star, but I found her out through FHM so don't think any bad things about me. Actually buying FHM is almost as bad as buying rudie movies, but she's rather attractive despite this
  • Jam - She's a fragdoll, which apparently means she's a role model for young girls to look up for in gaming. And yet for some reason more boys than girls appear to be in their forum. However she does actually appear to know a few things about games so she's a proper gamer. And watch her video about FarCry* for comedy french accents ahoy!
  • Freya aka the Schatzipuss - ok she hasn't got red hair but she sure is cute!

Well back to finish watching the Telly Addicts I downloaded & then it's off to bed to wake up two hours later.

* Or Fuckree as the guy says it