The two best songs of the decade

I'm not sure if they are the best songs of the decade, but they're the first two I could think of where I could write around a hundred words each for.

So Simon, the ace music blogger at Sweeping The Nation, was after some people to write about the best songs of the decade. As the take up on the offer was rather low that meant I could swoop in with my meagre offerings and get published on something other than my own blog.

Everyone else seemed to be writing about the song itself, whereas I went for a mini-biography of a pop star and rabbiting on about my watabe wedding. Both posts included poor jokes.

If you're interested in this then please go to:
Spiller featuring Sophie Ellis-Bextor - Groovejet (If This Ain't Love)
Nick Cave and The Bad Seeds - Breathless

(Two blogs in three days? I must be doing something wrong*)

* Oh yeah, I am being made redundant** which does mean I have a bit more spare time nowadays

** And being made redundant must mean I'm doing something wrong

One Late Night Left

I've never been to a game festival before. Well, I remember my Dad taking me & my brother to a computer fair in Harrogate where we each had to spend one pound to get in, spent ten minutes to have a look around, realised everything was crap and left.

Not'num Game City is different. It's free.

And alright, it does hold your attention for more than ten minutes. And there are some people you'd actually want to talk to.



I turned up on the Friday after loads of events had already taken place. The major discussion point was that some Japanese game designer was designing a playground for Not'num. I joked that Jonathan King was designing a similar playground for the kids of Derby, but no-one really laughed at it. Shame.

But, after checking on my Grandma in Clifton, I showed up in Market Square to go see One Life Left live. Which was almost immediately delayed as Ann Scantlebury and Simon Byron's train was delayed. I thought I saw Stels but didn't want to bother him.

Luckily by this point Down Home Kitty showed up so I wasn't on my own anymore and before too long Derek and Dbot arrived. The first place we looked at was the EA van, but we quickly left it as it was full of the kids who would usually be crowding round the game-nngh-pods at HMV.

The next place we avoided was the Crysis Live event. Partially because there was a massive queue. I also thought that because it was Crysis - but in real life - there would be too strict a person requirement to go on it*.

So the indie tent was the only alternative left. And of course being student indie games they were either games with a message and therefore absolutely no gameplay, or based on an existing game but done slightly worse. Kudos to the young tykes who were trying to hack one demo PC into showing dodgy YouTube videos. I doffed my cap to them and moved on.

The other main showing in the indie tent were the multi-multi-player games happening on the big screen. These involved about sixteen people playing altered versions of Bit Trip Beat, Jetstrike, Pirates! and reverse Base Jumpers. It all seemed great fun, if you were one of the three people who knew the controls and didn't die straight away. However, if you've got a big screen, sixteen PStwo joypads and multiple multi-taps then I highly recommend it (I agree - A Zelda Four Swords on the Gamecube owner).



Before the fun and games had to finish and One Life Left were to do their live show. As usual with these things there was somehing to make it literally unbroadcastable. In this case it was the annoyingly uncatchy tunes from the big screen and having to play music from a broken DVD player. Despite all this it was rather jolly with special guests like Raina Karaoke Lee! Jonathan Lego Smith! Syphus Blockbusters Syphus! Martin Barber Hollis! and Student Unpaid Helper!

There was also a Gameboy chiptune masterclass with Sabrepulse and Syphus, which actually required some musical knowledge and therefore of absolutely no use to me.

And then it was One Night Left. As official bootleg videographer I recorded Derek's performance which as usual involved a performance worthy Vegas showman at the top of their game. The Paper PlaNES remix going down particularly well.

Craig 'the Rage' McClelland then dropped his poetry on those assembled and, as can be from Mr. McClelland, there was a mixture of shock and amusment from the crowd. He was there selling his book, which I got signed to Nick Griffin.

Next were the main headliners. I felt Syphus just shaded it above Sabrepulse as his tunes were more Amiga based and hit my nostalgia gland more compared to Sabrepulse's Darkcore Rave (I think that's what it sounded like to me). Also Syphus had a keytar.

By this point I was flagging and when team OLL hit the decks I was mostly sitting down. Although I did get to talk to Martin Hollis, Jonathan Smith, Mitu Komplexsurnametospell, Charlie Miller and Craig McClelland. I also think I was the only person sad enough to have their photo taken with the award:


So it was a good night. And apparently Saturday was a good day too with the supergroup of Derek, Charlie and Mazrim hitting the Lego Rock Band stage to the delight of Raina. But I was having tea with my Grandma** which was a lot more fun if I'm totally honest. Sorry everyone.

I highly recommend Game City and if I'm not in a job where I need to work that week*** I'll try to go for much longer.


* Which would probably be needing to be at least 6ft 4, to have the same memory as a Cambridge graduate and Games For Windows Live.

** Except I did go to a comic book shop which had damaged Jake and Jessie Gemini figures, thus keeping one of Wrestlecrap Radio's running jokes running on.

*** Although in a job where I can afford to book a hotel for four nights

Swinging London

Highly illegal, which is why it'll only be up for a week, but here is the Hazy Osterwald Jet Set's Swinging London.

[audio:http://www.yellowreggae.co.uk/audio/06-hazy_osterwald_jet_set-swinging_london.mp3]

The infamous Ben Halup

I think I'm a reasonably funny person. Certainly, in the office environment I can come out with a few witty comments that people smile at*. I consider myself to be someone who can say things to cheer people up, not to depress them.

So when PC Gamer asked on twitter for questions for their latest podcast I had a good think. Do I ask a question about PC Gaming (which I wouldn't have much opinion on as I can hardly play Half-Life 2 on my ageing Dell) or do I go for the amusing question?

I had noticed that the Artist Formerly Known As C-Monster and J Walker had already tweeted in amusing questions so I thought one from me would also be appreciated**. The only problem was what to ask about?

I remembered that on the last podcast they were making references to the fact (it is an undeniable fact) that Ross Atherton, gentlemanly editor, kept prostitutes in his cellar. This was the joke I could use! And inspired by Richard Herrin I sent in the following question, which was used:

[audio:http://www.yellowreggae.co.uk/audio/J_Fritzl_PC_Gamer.mp3]

Oh. Looks like Ross didn't appreciate being linked with a murderer, rapist and incestor. I now appreciate the lot of a stand-up comedian when their jokes fall totally flat. However this was offset by the giggling of 12 year-old Deputy Editor Tim Edwards who found it most amusing.

Would I do a similar joke again? Possibly as I found it very amusing, but I would probably aim it more at myself than anyone else to avoid offending them. Even though Ross deserved it for his depraved attitude towards women.

If you want to download the full podcast it can be found here.

* I was quite pleased when someone said "We don't have a fear and blame culture here" and I immediately said "And whose fault is that?"

** Especially as I was keeping One Life Left's mailbox full at the end of their last season

A list of film directors influenced by computer games

• Sam Rammi


• Uwe BO-L-L


• Alfred Hitch-Chicken


• Michael Disk Drive Bay


• Joss Wii-don#


• JJ and Jeff Abrams


• George Lucasgames (clever wording I know, cheers)


• Francis Ford Virtua Coppola


• David Kane & Lynch


• David Cronenburgertime


• The Chronicles of Ridley Scott


• Tim BurtOni


• Christopher 7th Guest


• Wes Super Mario Landerson


• Snes Craven (Freya's one is the best)

Caught Short

Sometimes I wonder if my wife really loves me. Oh sure she says it everyday & gives me a kiss as I leave far too early in the morning for work, but it's those little things (as Alisha's Attic once sung) that make me doubt her intentions are pure.

Take yesterday (when I should've written this blog). It was a sunny day, and Freya told me that it was rather warm and as I get headaches when it's hot I was advised to wear shorts and a t-shirt.

Except it turned out it was also very windy so I got chilly about two minutes into our trip into town. This meant we then had to try to walk in the sun and out of the shade so that I would complain as little as possible.

Of course now I'm writing this blog I think it's pretty obvious that that tactic failed. I reckon she does love me really, but is bad at taking wind chill into account. I guess I should have put that in my wedding vows. I'll remember this next time I get married.

Commuter Love

I've tried to keep my stories of my fellow commuters at a minimum, but something that happened the other day made me realise at how rude some people could be.

When I first started commuting last July there were a few people that I recognised every few journeys. There was the girl with pixie hair, the guy with the indie feather cut and a few people I recognised from my old job who had also taken up jobs in the industrial hotbed of Leeds. But by about September these people had disappeared to be replaced by incidental behind men that I couldn't pick out of a police line up if I tried.

I have no idea where the previous people went. Was I just getting different trains to them? Quite likely as I realised if I got the 17.28 train it would take longer to get back to York, but I would have the advantage of a guaranteed seat and wouldn't have to go over the bridge to leave York station. Or did they get annoyed with seeing me on the train & decided to change their schedule to avoid seeing me? Either suggestion sounds likely.

However, in the past few weeks I've started seeing some faces again and again. There's the woman with the fold up bike and subtle nose piercing, the guy who wears running gear to the station, gets changed in the train toilets and then changes his contact lenses on the train floor (rather grim), the woman with really blonde hair who if you squint looks like Brea Grant and the girl with really flattened hair.

And then there's the guy who seems to think he's in a race with me to get to the train in the morning. I don't know why but he thinks he has to cross the road before the actual crossing part & is almost speed walking. I think you would class him as an alpha male, which would also mean you would class him as a tit.

Particularly as when he strode past me whilst hugging the edge of the pavement despite there being the whole rest of the pavement to walk down. But, who's this coming in the other direction? It's another a.m/t who is also hugging the edge of the pavement! One of them is going to have to move to the side, or perhaps both will, laugh, say sorry to each other (even though there's nothing to apologise for) and then carry on to their workplace laughing at the slightly amusing thing that just happened.

Or they could both be consumed with their own self importance, assume that the other person will move out of the way, then walk into each other then turn round to call each other an 'arsehole' or an 'idiot'. Yes, that could be a likely outcome.

I'm only ashamed that I was so in shock at the event of both a.m/ts getting so angry at each other (in order to prevent themselves realising that their lives have become so petty to get angry at someone walking into them) that I didn't laugh out loud. Ah well, I'm sure it will happen again at some point.

Sofa's Edge

According to Karen Chu, British Gas have been inspired by Little Big Planet for their latest set of adverts. Unfortunately this wasn't mentioned as an inspiration by the advertising in the away day that we recently held (as part of my role in a well known British based Gas company). That doesn't necessarily mean it wasn't an inspiration, just that advertising man didn't want to incriminate himself.

In his defence, the British Gas doesn't totally steal from LBP. Whilst parts of it evoke the feel of the game, it doesn't look exactly like it. It also doesn't have an annoyingly floaty jump.

CSL sofas don't really have the 'inspired by' defence.  It's entirely stolen from the first level of Mirror's Edge that made everyone fall in love with it (and then fall out with it because the combat was not intuitive).



The problem is I don't see how a distopian future on the roofs of high rise buildings makes you think 'Sofas'.  If anyone can answer this for me I would be most appreciative.

Street life

I was in Nottingham today going to see my Grandma, and to waste some time I went to Lee Rosy's to see if the FME and DHK approved waitress was as hott as I was led to believe.

Unfortunately as I got there before 10am, it was shut and I felt it would have been rude to stare through the window so just glanced in and saw a dark-haired girl. I had no idea if she was hott, but the place did look very nice.

And all the time I was walking around I knew I was in Nottingham. Which sounds silly, but everyone else says all high streets are the same due to homogenised shops and health 'n' safety* causing anything original to be removed.

But even if Selectadisc closed**, and the Brian Clough statue was removed I'd know exactly where I was. And if I was dumped in York, Mansfield, Manchester, Swinging London or Scarborough I would know immediately where I was. And then run towards the Police Station to inform them I had been kidnapped.

Because the high street is more than the shops that it contains. It's the buildings that they're in, with the clocks that have been outside them for ages. It's the little hill you have to go up before seeing that Lee Rosy's is shut. It's the little alleyways and snickets you know you can cut through before you get to Cube hairdressers. It's that they're not all set in blocks like in America (or at least, what I think of America - please inform me if I'm wrong former colonialists!). It's the trams in Manchester going towards Altringham.

Although the fact that they all seem to have big wheels is very silly.

* The a and n were removed in case a kid fell and bumped their head on them

** Which it is. I bought my Olivia Tremor Control album there, along with the cool see through Sleater-Kinney single (I think it was You're No Rock And Roll Fun). Bye bye Selectadisc, you were a girl record store

Witness the fitness

As befits someone who recently got married I have let myself go a bit.  Whereas I was previously a slim, weak man with a bit of a pot belly I am now a slim, weak man with a bit of a pot belly and a beard.  This obviously makes a huge difference to my lifestyle, which consists of sitting around playing videogames and eating chicken goujons with reggae reggae sauce.

I think my body works fine from the waist down as I walk to work (excluding the 25 minute train I catch in between walking to and from the stations) and don't get out of breath.  Sometimes I do get a little sweaty, but that's mostly due to me wearing a big coat in anticipation of cold weather & the Sun deciding to boil me slightly.

No, it's always been my arms & belly that require the most work.  My belly seems to attract all the spare weight I have, but my arms get thinner and thinner in comparison.

So I got the Wii Fit board out of storage and decided to give it a go.  After being gently chided for not going on it for over 100 days I started playing the put-the-balls-in-the-holes game as a warm up.

Then I did some squat thrusts which weren't too bad, so I decided to do some jacknifes to work on my belly.  Easy peasy.  At least for the first few jacks, then for some weird reason my lardy belly thought that it didn't like doing this & it started to hurt.  Lots.  The worst thing was that the gym trainer lady was late for the session due to sleeping in too late and seemed to be taking it out on me.  "Keep at it.  I may be hungover, but seeing you in pain is making me feel lots better."

I hate that woman.  She never cuts you any slack.  Much like a trainer in a real gym.

I decided to finish with a press up session.  Now I really hate the Wii Fit press ups.  Not only do they make you do it really slowly, but they also make you move onto one arm in an attempt to prolong the agony.  So I gave up.

The woman gave me some grief, but I didn't really care as I could see her do the press ups and noticed that her top was really scary.  You could see her cleavage, but it was perfectly covered by her top.  Not like it was a lycra top, but more like it was painted over like those women they occasionally have in Sports Illustrated issues.

The gym lady scares me.  I would choose the man, but he is also scarier and I worry about what I will see when I do the squat thrusts.

Shake baby shake

I need a car.  Actually scratch that, I need a method of transportation that's cheap and doesn't require two weeks of planning before I can use it.  Which essentially means a car.

It doesn't matter that I haven't been behind a wheel since I passed my test* in 2002, a car would be really useful.  It would mean that I wouldn't have to get a first class ticket to travel down at 7am to see my Grandma** as there were no cheaper tickets that would get me there before 12.

We could also go and visit Freya's relatives who live too far away for us to decide to see at a short notice and therefore hardly see as much as she would like.  The last time we saw her Father & Step-Mother was at our wedding and nine months*** is too long to have not seen your parents.

I'd quite look forward to being able to drive around Yorkshire and see places that don't have a train station near them.  I hear there's some rather nice village pubs nearby and as I'm (sob) nearly 30 I reckon I should be going towards that direction.

Also going by car would remove the most hateful thing about getting public transport.  Which is the public.  They are such whining, childish hatemongerers .  Honestly, while I've not been blogging I've been storing up anecdotes about the idiotic things my fellow commuters have done.  And the really annoying thing is I'm sure I've done exactly the same thing to them.

* Other than when I revved my Mum's car so that my Dad's car got jump started.

** Although I'm actually interested in seeing how good first class is.

*** Erk.  I've been married for nine months.  We've already lasted longer than Peaches Geldof.  In your face!

Putting second in perspective

Right, I realise I haven't really blogged on here.  And I haven't filled in the 'about' sections that I appear to have.

But humour me for a moment.  I'm trying to work out if what I've written makes sense.

Momopeche twittered 'crap, i have to write my SXSW bio and have no idea to write it in first person or third'.  My reply was 'He always prefers to write in the second person'.

Does this make sense from any viewpoint?  I'm really unsure if it does or not.

This is a test

It appears to be working.  Expect more fun tomorrow!

Tilly and the Wall haiku

Slow Club:



You thought you were bad
in fact you were rather good
but crap whistlers

Tilly and the wall:



One of you can't sing
can't play bass but can tap dance
you'll go a long way

Kenickie - 10 years gone

I realise it's been ten years, but I still miss them. Kenickie are my favourite band ever. They just sang with feeling. And a mackem accent.

I've liked bands before and since, but I've never felt the same joy when I hear any other band. Plus they sounded like they were having fun too.

They split just as I started Uni at Loughborough and I could've seen them on their final tour at Rock City, but I never found anyone to go with. It's something I regret to this day. Although perhaps seeing them in their dying throes will have soured my memory of them.

I even liked how their first unofficial mailing list was one sent out by someone (Lee?) who bcc'd everyone in so you got a load of messages in one go.

The best bit is I have no idea where I started to like Kenickie from. It might have been C-Monster, who mentioned it in his e-mail about AP. Or J Nash when I asked him about music he liked. Or maybe it was when I got a promo leaflet through the post.

So thanks for everything Johnny X (anything to do with http://www.whoisjohnny-x.com/ ), Emmy-Kate Montrose (writer of the Best Kenickie Song ever), Lauren Laverne (who should just stick to radio rather than sorting out Twiggy's frocks) and Marie du Santiago (the one I fancied, sorry Marie).

I did actually see Kenickie live twice, both times were at Reading Festival. Rather surprisingly BFBS played part of their 1996EDIT: 1997** set on their radio station. I managed to record it onto tape. Now I have converted it into mp3s* for everyone to enjoy. If anyone knows of any reason why these shouldn't be on here, let me know.

Cheers.

• The whole gig as a .rar file


• 01 - Dodgy BFBS Intro


• 02 - How I Was Made


• 03 - I Never Complain


• 04 - Millionaire Sweeper


• 05 - I Would Fix You


• 06 - Classy


• 07 - People We Want


• 08 - PVC


• 09 - In Your Car

* Via Minidisc, then audacity.
** I knew I went to Reading 1998 as this was before I went to Uni, but I could have sworn I missed the one before that. However, I am wrong. Simon, the person Simon was speaking to, and the First Matt were right. Everyone must now change the ID3 tags in the MP3s accordingly.

Haiku Gig Review

Rose from The Pipettes
She wanted to dance/hand jive
Was stuck by keyboard



Film School were loud
And also repetitive
They were also loud



British Sea Power
Very good foliage but
Need Turtle Power

Communication Prbloms

Nice to see the Guardian pays attention to its own words...

http://www.guardian.co.uk/film/2008/oct/07/little.britain

Don't hold your breath for a British series called The Mentalist.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/media/mediamonkeyblog/2008/oct/03/channelfive.television

Channel Five's new US import The Mentalist

Not 'Arf

The other I've noticed as I've got older is that my belly button fluff has stopped being dark, and is now white cotton. I have no logical reason for this, other than my belly button is racist. I apologise for it's actions.

Premature Awake-ation

I'm ill. As usual it's just a really bad cold/sore throat that has made me spend this weekend not doing a lot and falling asleep during the day. Now, I hate falling asleep during the day as I just feel it's a total waste of the day. Although considering I usually spend the weekend on the PC or the Wii, it's not that much more of a waste. Still, I consider falling asleep during the day to be very much an old man's game and always shy away from it.



This didn't used to matter as I would always spend the weekends waking up at around 11am. But recently I've been waking up around the same times I do to go to work, which is 6.15am. And my body can't take it.

I have a few reasons for this. One is that our bedroom curtains are feeble, and let the light in at the earliest opportunity. I spent eight years living in Germany where they use heavy duty blinds and you wouldn't have a clue what time it was when you woke up. So you went back to sleep.

Also, next door have a really screamy kid. We have thin walls. This combination results in an alarm that is worse than the Meatballs alarm ringtone I made. And unfortunately, Sophie doesn't have a snooze button.

The other thing is, by noticing, this I've realised I'm getting old. I'm at ease with it though as sleeping appears to be the only problem I have with it.

Hair in my nose? When you graze your nostril and feel an unusually long hair, it feels great to pull it out. Plus it's stopped me from picking my nose so much as this is more fun.

Going bald? Yeah I could do without touching places where my hair was and finding nothing there, but it happens. Plus I'm starting to get Mr. Fantastic style grey side bit, which I reckon look alright.

A large belly? That seems to have stopped since I quit booze. Walking to the train station also helps.

But waking up before seven on a weekend? That's just wrong. Going to sleep when you could be watching Hole in the Wall? What a waste of time!

P.S. I realise this blog has made little to no sense. But I point you to my first sentence. I'm ill. Do you people not have any compassion?

Delivery Error

The great thing about the postal service (not the band, who are good, but won't help my argument) is that you pay some money and they will send your parcel anywhere. Now if you want it sending to the other side of the world then it will cost more & if you want it arriving quicker it will also cost more. However, I feel that these are sound reasons to pay more.



Now, it's coming up to my Lovely Wife's birthday and I wish to buy her something nice. And therefore I have found something that is perfect for her*. Except there's one problem: The company don't deliver to the UK.

I'm not asking for you to charge the same amount that you do for American deliveries. I'm not even asking to be treated as a Canadian. Even if you said "It will cost an extra twenty quid to send" I wouldn't mind. At least I'd have the choice to say no.

So either I have to find something else that Freya would like or I could ask the people I know who live in America, see if they will allow me to get it sent to their house and then ask them to send it on. Which is people who read this blog pretty much. So please people of America (and Canadia), help a loving husband out? Obviously all fees will be reimbursed and if you need some English sweets sending over I will be happy to help.

The other thing is: Does a website already provide this service? Because I reckon there could be a gap in the market for this. I'm going to give Duncan Bannatyne a ring and see if he's in. If not, I'll probably get his answering machine.

* I'm unable to say what as she'll no doubt pick this as the one time to read my blog this year. I love you Freya!