I wish I had a bottle...

...right here in my dirty face

I am now on skype. Click here to give me a call. I have no idea if I'm being really stupid putting my details on here or not, but it's worth a risk.

Currently on my monitor at work I have a picture of Brian Clough giving the V sign to some people. Previously I've had Scarlett Johannson on there (in some pics with Woody Allen, Spongebob Squarepants or The Hoff) and also Frank Sidebottom, Boris Johnson, the Pipettes and Dick ("and" - ed) Dom.

I don't know why I told you that, just thought it will fill some space. Oh - now I remember. Should I replace my slightly offensive picture of a man swearing with a picture of Ash from Evil Dead II being strangled by his severed hand? That's a question everybody votes on the Wii won't give you.

I've got to get out of here...

...I've got to clear my head

Ergh. Along with my still feeling tired from staying up on Saturday night, I now have the sniffles. I'm such a trooper.

We listened to it twice...

...because the dj was asleep

OK, I'm still awake at half three. This time I had an excuse. I saw Jaws at half eleven and it finished at half one. It was good, but part way through I remembered - I'd already seen the ending. I'm not sure where or how, but I definitely saw the last five or so minutes.

The other problem was that the film must have been one used when Jaws first came out. It was skipping frames, the sound was really muffly and lines kept appearing on the screen.

The final problem was that it was shown at half eleven so my friend fell alseep right at the end and I was having to go back to my old uni tactics of staying awake.

Ah well. I enjoyed myself in spite of all these problems.

Can we fix it?

...yes we can!

After a day of worrying I fixed my PC's problem with finding the CD drive. Truly I am great. Or XP's driver rollback function is, I forget which.

Despite not having a working CD drive I still went to the shops and bought Farenheit and also Outrun 2006 : Coast ("to" - ed) Coast. I will be playing them over the weekend and give you my thoughts (or maybe Mick and Dave will).

Other than that I will be going to see Jaws for the first time ever. People may find this weird, but there's loads of other 'classic' films that I've never watched. They include: The Terminator, Scarface, Godfather and Goodfellas. But why watch them when there's Masters Of The Universe?

Oh and for those of you wanting to see my Friday Feast answers you'll be waiting a long time. I've given up on it, I'd much rather blather on about what I want rather than tell you funny words I said as a kid.

I'm free...

...to do whatever I

Damn, it didn't so now I even more tired, but won't get to sleep as I'll be worrying about this rubbish PC. Bum.

How sweet...

...to be an idiot

Right, I'm tired and I should have been in bed about an hour ago. But due to a dodgy tummy I stayed up. If I hadn't done that I would have wasted about fifty quid buying stuff on ebay and itunes that I don't want, and the main reason I bought them was because I was tired & couldn't think straight. Man, I really am stupid and should just do what Freya says for the rest of my life.

And now for some reason my pc doesn't recognise it's CD drive. What the? Hopefully a quick reboot will get it working again.

Rolling like thunder...

...under the covers

According to a study* you're a much better surgeon if you play video games. I can sort of understand that, particularly for the surgery where you're doing it by joystick (except they should now use a stylus or wireless nunchuck, natch).

I only wish that playing games could somehow make me a better accountant. Except the only games I can think of that would help me understand accounting & numbers better would be Football Manager and World of Warcraft. And they're boring enough without doing them for work.

Oh, and what's that at the end of the article? "...the Royal College of Surgeons said research, [done by someone else], showed no correlation between video games and performance in surgery." So that article I spent five minutes blogging about was rubbish? Ah well, such is life.

I watched the first episode of Heroes today. It was good.

* To be seen in full here:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/science/story/0,,2016992,00.html)

Up up down down left right left right B A start...

...Just because we use cheats doesn't mean we're not smart

Number one in a very small list of reasons why I'd drag up



Full story http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/6367631.stm

Does she walk...

...Does she talk?

Friday Feast no. 7

Appetizer
What sound, other than the normal ringing, would you like your telephone to make?

It already does it, Curb Your Enthusiasm theme for 'normal' calls and the How I Met Your Mother theme when Freya rings.

Soup
Describe your usual disposition in meteorological terms (partly cloudy, sunny, stormy, etc.).
Cold front, warm heart.

Salad
What specific subject do you feel you know better than any other subjects?
Erm. I don't know. I consider myself more of a jack of all trades than a master of one. The one that I'm best at is Mathematics, but I'm sure loads of people are better at it than me.

Main Course
Imagine you were given the ability to remember everything you read for one entire day. Which books/magazines/newspapers would you choose to read?
All of Amiga Power but I think I can remember all of them already without that special ability. Other than that some quotation book so I could annoy people with some extraordinarily pithy comment that relates to what they're doing.

Dessert
If a popular candy maker contacted you to create their next confection, what would it be like and what would you name it?
I actually had an idea for one when I was about seven/eight. It involved taking all the sweets I liked and merging them together. The main base was Opal Fruits (now called Starburst) and I think it had bits of Refreshers on there. It might also have had some chocolate on there so it would've actually been disgusting. Luckily I never made it myself.

Darlin' don't you go and cut your hair...

...Do you think it's going to make him change?

As the lyric above* hints at I had my hair cut. As usual it was cut by the lovely Gemma and as usual I realised I have a little crush on her. I've realised that Gemma's the girl I'd go out with if I enjoyed going out more than staying in.

She's more of a stay out girl than Freya, who prefers staying in and snuggling. That's the way I prefer it. I'm much happier staying in & watching the telly than going out to a bar until ten, then clubbing until two, then waking up at eight to go to work. But sometimes I wonder what it would be like if Freya & I went out every night.

The answer is we'd be poor, not going to Japan, not living in a nice house** and I wouldn't be with the Schatz I love.

I feel bad for the poor guy who sent Gemma roses & asked her out last week. She told me she would've preferred Jelly Babies.

* Which I think I've used before

** Aside from the loud neighbours

She is one in a million...

...with lips of vermillion

So poker eh? I realised why I'm no good at it - I have no patience. On Thursday I went to a poker night with some people from work. To be honest I didn't really want to be there - I was tired and it was icy so I was nearly falling over with every step I took. I didn't want to pull out and let everyone down. So I showed up to find two people had pulled out. Grrrr.

I quite enjoyed the poker, and did some good hands but it got boring for me really quickly. I wasn't drinking (self-enforced to try & stop my migraines and unfortunately it appears to be working) and me doing the same thing for 3 hours really bores me. So when someone went all in with all the cards on the table and I had absolutely nothing I went in too. I wanted to go home and it was a small price to pay.

Work colleagues are now teasing me about how rubbish I am, but I knew that anyway. The moral of this story? Gambling is wrong. Unless I win the lottery tonight.

It's so nice, I had to name it twice...

...I called it Reggae Reggae Sauce

Remind me to write about how rubbish I am at poker. But first...

Friday Feast No. 6

Appetizer
Have you been sick yet this winter? If so, what did you come down with?
Just general sniffles. Nothing so bad that I've had to stay off work unfortunately. I've got four days holiday next week so I'm expecting a major cold to hit then!


Soup
What colours dominate your closet?
In work terms it's black suits and white shirts. In leisure terms it's mostly beige, and greens. Although I wear more greens than beiges at the moment. (Beige was so last century for me, just haven't got rid of them).

Salad
How would you describe your personal "comfort zone"?
Staying at home, doodling about. Anything that involves me getting out and talking to strangers is way out of my comfort zone. Interview tip: Mentioning about how you've been trying to push yourself and get out of your comfort zone really impresses interviewers.

Main Course
On which reality show would you really like to be a contestant?
I couldn't see myself being on any reality tv show. Perhaps when I was a teenager I would've liked the one I've read about when some kids are going to lose their virginities to porn stars. But when I was a teenage I would've lost my virginity to anyone.

Dessert
Which holiday would you consider to be your favorite?
I'm expecting this holiday I'm having in May to be my best ever. My first one to a country in the Far East. It'll blow my mind being somewhere with a totally different culture, language and style. Yep, Japan should be good. Previously though, it was Florida where I flew by myself but met up with my family there. Disneyland and Universal Studios is always fun.

ABC, 123, XYZ...

...but he don't know about XTC

Regular readers may have noticed I've changed my last.fm chart about four times in the past week. This is because my top ten bands consisted of one band on two plays and then nine on one play. So I changed it to latest tracks. But because my old style said top ten at the top I had to change it.

The first one was too big for the sidebar.

The next didn't look that good.

The third one appeared just right, and it was based on Metric. But then I noticed it only had enough space for about eleven characters per play so it said "Bran Van 3000- Ever" instead of "Bran Van 3000 - Everywhere".

So I've settled for one with Scarlett Johannson in. It'll get me in trouble with Freya as she detests her with a passion. I don't know why as I think Scarlett's gorgeous... Oh wait, I think I get it now.

Start me up...

...if you start me up you never stop

Oh yea-uh! Mick Jagger here! I'm a-uh fa-uh-ous rock star, I've sold concerts all over the world, been some (mumbles) films. But I'm here to tell you something. A-uh rock star has been telling you-uh some myths.

Not Bono! Not this time-uh, but David Bowie.

He's been telling you-uh that Elite Beat Agents was rubbish. That if it was a Rolling Stones album it would be our-uh latest album (whatever that was called). But it's not. It's the equivalent of Sticky Fingers.

It's really that good. Oh yea-uh! It's just really addictive, and every time you get stuck on a song you seem to get slightly further each time. That makes it really addictive.

David's slightly correct in that some charm is lost by the move to English songs & lyrics in that the song doesn't necessarily-uh relate to what the cartoon is about but who knows if that wasn't the case with the Japanese one? The song where you help the kid pass his exam could have had lyrics where 'love conquers all'.

But all the songs-uh do have a good beat to them and then never outstay their welcome. So I'd recommend that you ignore what Mr. Jones said and instead go out and buy Elite Beat Agents for the Nintendo DS. As soon as it comes out in the UK.

Plus Jumping Jack Flash saves the world so I could never insult a game that does that..

Oh yea-uh!!!

And so...

...he forgot, he forgot, maybe not

I was going to let a guest speaker talk to you today (I'm trying to write an entry every day this month*) but he's still preparing for his entry into blogging. You may have heard of him though and it's slightly related to the previous guest speaker I had here if that makes up your mind that you should definitely stay away tomorrow.

In job news I didn't get the job at Gamestation. Apparently they promoted internally instead. This makes me think that they were going to do this all along so I went to two interviews for absolutely no reason. My conclusion is that Gamestation are rubbish. Perhaps being overly pessimistic about video games retailers chances of survival in the download age didn't help either. Ah well.

Other job news is that I'm staying in my current role, rather than joining another team internally. Mostly this is due to the fact that people high up said they'd like me to stay so I felt wanted, but also because there's more people in my current team and therefore more chances of promotion. I'm such a merc.

In good news for blogging I think I'll not be having any more interviews for a while so I can self-indulgently ramble about slightly more interesting stuff.

Cheerio!

* Except for the First, where I forgot to do it.

There's an old man sitting next to me...

...making love to his tonic and gin

My life is constantly like a film. Usually it's Office Space, but over the weekend it's been Army Of Darkness.

Specifically it's the scene after Ash swallows a mini version of himself. Yes, I have an eyelid on the side of my neck. Well, not really, it's just a really large spot but it sure feels as though an extra head is trying to push its way through.

I'm trying not to squeeze it, but I'm sure in the morning I'll change my mind.

Look I can't watch you...

...sleepwalking through this

It's five to midnight and I should be asleep. Instead I have been browsing the internet for around two hours and done absolutely nothing useful with that time. I am sorry Freya I should have just stayed in bed. Especially considering I was knackered from about 8 onwards.

Clarity...

...just confuses me*

In York, as in most cities in the UK, there are people that stop you in the street to tell you about charities. Like most British people I avoid these people. I'm not really sure why I don't stop and talk to them, I just know it'll depress me somehow.

And yesterday I did talk to one and I was right with my original assumptions.

It was my own fault, I was distracted after buying some headache tablets that I really needed to take soon so didn't notice the girl coming up in front of me. Then when she said "Hello" I thought she was trying to chat me up as she looked rather cute. By the time I got close to her and noticed she wasn't that cute (too spotty around the chin) or actually just talking to me because I looked nice I couldn't get away.

She told me about the charity she was working for in her lovely Nor'n Irish accent**. (Instead of volunteering to pester people she was actually being paid to do this.) And the charity did sound useful, although her speech sounded a bit rehearsed and too prepared. Then she started asking me how much money I could give. After a really lame joke ("Surely you can give fifty quid a week?") she decided on the price of a beer a week.

Now I would have been happy to give two quid a week to that charity, but after I'd done some research into them, and I told Nor'n Irish Girl that. She didn't really accept that as an answer and asked me again for my name, address and bank details. I didn't want to give my details out to anyone in the street whether they worked for a charity or not.

Nor'n Irish Girl tried a different tack "But you don't mind giving your bank details to shops? Or on the internet?" That argument didn't really fly with me, as at least when I give my bank card to a shop I have to put my pin in and when I buy stuff online I check the company out thoroughly.

She tried again, "You'll get a welcome pack discussing what we do, and you'll get a phone call where you can cancel the direct debit". Considering she told me they were meant to be cutting down on admin costs I found a welcome pack a bit of a silly thing to have, but I kept that quiet.

In addition to that if I was to give to a charity I wouldn't want to have the money to go out of my bank account. I'd use Give As You Earn. With this the money come out of your gross salary so if you donate ten pounds a month it only results in you losing seven pounds out of your net salary, due to tax relief.

Eventually I managed, by having to get really, really mardy, into allowing her to let me go. But I could tell she wasn't happy about letting me go without getting my details. Perhaps she was interested in me for my looks? I reckon she would've got a cut of my donation though, chicks eh? Only interested in your money.

* The closest lyric that mentions Charity that I could find.

** I'm not joking about this. The Northern Irish accent is really wonderful to me. Probably only second to the proper Irish accent. Any country where you can't just say "Thanks" but have to say "Thanks a million" has to be great.

If love is a drug...

...I guess we're all sober

Friday Feast No. 5 (written before I leave for work)

Appetizer
What was one of the fashion fads when you were a teenager?
Shellsuits. I lived in Germany growing up so it was unusual if you weren't wearing anything that didn't look absolutely awful.

Soup
Name one thing you think people assume about you when they first meet you.
That I'm quiet. Which I am, but only when I first know someone. Then I'm loud, but still don't talk so much.

Salad
On a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being highest, how hard do you work?
Currently 8. Was about 5 at the end of last year.

Main Course
If you were given a free 30-second commercial during the Super Bowl to sell anything you currently own, what would you advertise?

Cricket. It's a hard sell to the Americans I know, but I'm sure a 30-second advert would turn things around!

Dessert
Fill in the blank: I love to ________ when it is _________.
I love to fill in blanks when it is Friday Feast time. Sorry, brain freeze on the last one again, this always happens to me.