No no no no more...

...alcohol!

So I've been out for my boss' leaving do. Which is stupid as he is great and should not have been sacked by our SMGC. But there you go it's been done so what can you do about it.

Anyway, I'm drunk so this blog will be the most honest I've ever blogged. Or the most rubbish, either way I will not be deleting anything I've written. Even the spelling mistakes like delteing. Damn still spelt it wrong./

So I've twenty mintues to write stuff up.

I lost £2.90 on vowling to Melson. That shoudl say bowling to Melson and MelsoM not Melson. But being a TRUE accountant I hesdged my bets and actually won £3 from other people on my team so I won ten pence. And in the third game I wgot 174. Which is a really high score for myself. I think bowling is the one game I',m good at,.

I have only one true friend on myspace. Actually that's a lie I reckon I have three true friends. Either way that's rubbish. I did accept a load of peiople last night, but if they don't say on my site "Thanks for the add" by the weekend I shall be deleting the,m/. If you ask someone to add you, yuo should at leadsy say thanks. I notice FDreya's friend Jess hasn;t added me. She must be a bitch as I suspected.

Man this blog is so not making sense. All I have to say is I am a great bowlier. I just need to work at it. The same may be said about my interview techniwue wihci I will have to perfect by Turesday as I cam having a dbig day off to get a pricing job at the Farepack money knicers,.

Cheerio,
Bwen

She is S: Super Special...

...She is C: Crazy Crazy

I'm having trouble with these new CD cases. It looks as though the main reason for them is to protect the hinge and make the front less likely to snap off from the back. This is rubbish. I've got about 800 CDs (no, really) and I'd say about one has actually had this happen to it. Well, others have had the front cover snap off, but it's been easy enough to snap it in place again.

The real problems with CD cases are that the front covers crack easily when you step on them, the inside nipples* teeth break off easily causing the CD to rattle and also the CDs can get stratched and become useless.

And instead we now get a CD cases that has rounded edges, you have to press a button to open it, is impossible to get the inlay out and doesn't have symmetrical back cover 'sides'. Good work CD designers!

* I believe this is actually the correct technical term for them.

Who're ya gonna call...

...Ghostbusters!

I've been really clever and whilst I was in Manchester I bought a moleskin notepad so I can write ideas for blogging if they strike. And strike they did yesterday:

We ate at Wagamama's yesterday, which is a Japanese style fast-food restaurant that you only get in big cities like Manchester & Leeds. I ordered some Beef Chili Noodles and pointed out to Freya that they had actual chilis in there. Then I ate one. It wasn't too bad a little hot but I managed it. The food was really nice. And because it's using fresh ingredients it's much better for you than usual fast food places.

I was a bit upset though that after one go of trying to eat my noodles with chopsticks, and failing miserably, the waiter came over and asked if I wanted cutlery. Did I look that stupid eating with them? Not wanting to embarrass Freya further I accepted his offer. And it was much easier. I'm terrible with anything that involves relaxing your hands - mine just always seem tight and clawlike.

The other problem involved me eating the chilis. When we got home I had a slight problem. I won't go into any details here, but it wasn't pretty. And we had a gig to go to. With me having a very delicate stomach and Freya snuffling from a cold. Luckily we got through the gig ok (pics on flickr by the end of the day) and I realised that me and eating slices of chilis do not mix. At least they don't mix for long anyway.

Do you realize...

...that you have the most beautiful face?

I'm writing this from an internet cafe in Manchester. I'm still surprised these exist to be honest as I thought everyone now 3G from their mobiles or wi-fi on park benches or in McDonalds.

Having a great time in Manchester. I finally found some trainers that I wanted (been spending ages looking for some waterproof Converse) only to find out that the ones in my size were damaged. They're now sending me some through the post, but I'm sure there will be a bit of hassle before I get my hands/feet on/in them.

Freya has bought lots of clothes and make-up so I think she's happy. She was a bit ill yesterday so we just stayed in our hotel room then. It's actually a pretty swish apartment though so it wasn't like we were cooped up. I'll take some pics of it and put them on my flickr.

That's about it for the day, we're off to see the Flaming Lips tonight so that promises to be great fun. Hopefully Wayne/Stu will be on top form and there will be lots of streamers, puppets, animal costumes, bubbles, spacemen and Father Christmasses (Christmasii?) as they usually have.

Cheerio.

Sunsets lost in...

DSC08361
Originally uploaded by uppi17.

...skies of hazy grey

Possibly very lazy of me to blog a picture rather than anything of substance, but it fits in with Part I of my story yesterday. I reckon this may be considered a 'spoiler' as it is me with C3PO but I doubt I'm spoiling it that much for you.

Another pic will be blogged tomorrow (if I can find a PC in Manchester) which may (or may not) have me meeting Amber Benson. I bet you're all excited aren't you?

You hear the thunder of stampeding rhinos...

...elephants and tacky tigers

Still aiming to go through the whole month. Four out of four. I'm rather impressed with that.

Mum & Dad have left to go back to Germany. But I'd rather talk about the day I met C3PO as I don't think I've mentioned it before and it's my one and only star story. In fact, I might split it into two parts.

Around two years ago I heard about a site called Ghosts of Albion . It was a webcartoon written by Amber Benson from Buffy. Now being a massive fan of anything Buffy related and also having had a huge crush on Amber (it was the doe eyes that did it*) I started to watch it.

It was good. Whilst the animation was a bit rubbish (due to having dial-up at the time I had to go for the poorer quality picture) the story was exciting and certainly gave me something to do other than watch the telly. Even though I was just watching the PC instead.

They had the usual stuff on the site for people to interact with each other which at the time was a forum. But they also had the golden ticket competition.

Every weekday they set a question either about the cartoon or regarding the mythology touched upon in the cartoon (Lord Nelson, Boudiccia and another ghost I can't quite remember possibly Byron were involved). If you were the first to answer on the forum you managed to go to an event which would be held in London in December. Apparently the people who voiced the characters would be there. They never mentioned it but I reckoned that Amber would definitely be showing up and I would pull her and then we would live together in LA.

So it was in my best interests to get a golden ticket. Unfortunately most questions were set at noon and I couldn't get net access at work so I usually missed out. The few questions that weren't answered straight away were usually because they were set at museums that no-one went to or in Manchester square on a big tv and no-one bothered to look at it. Can't blame them - I avoid the York Ghost Walk guy whenever he appears through walls.

Eventually the beeb took pity on the people who weren't tax dodgers and actually worked during the day and started to set questions at 6pm. Even then I usually failed to answer in time because I was on dial up and once I worked out an answer about 10 people had already correcty answered it.

I was getting angry. Amber was moving away from me. And we'd make a perfect couple.

Luck was to shine on me though. One of the questions was divided into lots of mulitiple choice questions which ended in you getting a code word. Using my geek skills and google I think I had the right word, which was different to the one everyone else had put down. Further geek skills helped me work out I was definitely correct by the fact that deliberately getting an option wrong gave me the word everyone else quoted.

I was right. I had my ticket to London. Amber & I would finally meet and the planets would align.

Except between getting the ticket and the event I met Freya and Amber left my mind completely. And she never showed up anyway. But C3PO did.

Part 2 tomorrow as I have to get ready to leave for Manchester then & will not be able to think of anything to write about.


* As in she had nice eyes, not that she used doe eyes in a spell on Buffy & that turned me on.

If all you need is melodrama...

...with a beginning, middle and an end

A quick one today. Getting a new job is proving harder than I thought. For some reason the new agency I signed up with ring me to tell me about a job, I say it sounds ok could you send me more details, they say ok.

I've still not received anything. Are they really that rubbish?

EDIT: Just looked and googlemail was putting their e-mails in Spam. And because I use Outlook to download my googlemail I never saw them. Gach. So I've got two really important e-mails that I missed out on. Cheers googlemail spam check.

I've realised that I really need to practise my answers for interviews so I've booked out a meeting with a guy at work to go through possible questions I might get asked. To be honest I'd really like to stay at NU, but as a newly qualified accountant I (apparently) should be getting around £30k and I'm only earning £19k at the moment. However much I like NU, I don't like them that much.

But at least it pays the bills for now.

Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves...

...they hear it from the people of the town

Curse blogger and it's inability to know I only want the first line to be in bold. I have to edit the html manually to get it working. And I hate jacking in to the html matrix.

But Anyway.

NaBloPoMo continues apace. I actually thought of loads of topics to write about whilst at work today and as usual I've forgotten about them. Except I've remembered that I hoard.

My Mum and Dad have brought some of my stuff back from Germany and it's been there for 8 years. So what kind of gems did they bring back?

• A Nottingham Forest pennant
• A Reeves and Mortimer poster
• Two PC joysticks - which aren't USB connected
• A GameGear, GameBoy Color, CD32 and Spectrum +3
• Around a hundred CD's
• Some Rosita, Angelica and theaudience vinyl
• Two footballs (one of which was signed by Sensible Software)
• The 'grail' book from the Indiana Jones & The Last Crusade adventure game
• Some Neal Stephenson books

I think out of those the only things I really want to keep is the vinyl and the Neal Stephenson books. But I want to keep the other stuff as well. That's my dilemma, because I'm a hoarder.

I cut out little bits of magazines because there was a small AP reference in there - but I never read the bit again.

I keep freebies given to me just because they were free and could come in useful again sometime.

I have every episode of Gamesmaster ever on video even though I don't think I've ever watched them again.

And the Fast Show.

And Shooting Stars (except I have watched that again).

But if I died. Do I seriously want Freya, or my Mum & Dad to go through this load of rubbish? What would they make of it? And what would they think of me when then went through it?

No. It's a load of rubbish. He kept a load of rubbish.

So I will endeavour to get rid of any rubbish my Mum & Dad bring back.


Man, NaBloPoMo is making me do loads of stuff. Even if no-one reads this* at least I'll have started exercising (15 press ups this morning) and added to the landfills in York. Actually that last bit isn't that good environmentally is it?

Don't worry, they'll start making sense soon.

Oh well.

* As usual

All we need is...

...radio gaga

Well as expected it's been impossible to get to a PC today. However (to satisfy the NaNo requirements) I have these things to say:

• I've done no exercising today. Only some half-hearted exercises in the morning.
• I really have no motivation for work at the moment.
• Freya has had her hair cut and it looks really nice. A bit of a change, but a change for the better.

Hopefully I will be able to expand on this tomorrow, but probably not...

Sorry for the shortness NaNo people, but it's a marathon not a sprint. And it's how you finish it that's most important.

Belong to me, because tonight...

...you make my world feel right

Something at work today made me think I should get my arse in gear and start doing some exercise. I remember when I first joined NU and got a £100 bonus I spent it on joining a gym for three months. I did actually feel healthier and (I thought) I was actually starting to get some muscles.

When it ran out I didn't renew and have done no exercise since. And have also developed a beer belly even though I only drink beer for one night every three weeks.

The thing is I know exercise will help me, I just have no motivation for doing it. I much prefer lazying around watching TV. But I should do it. It will stop me feeling so tired when I've done nothing, might help me get to sleep quicker, will make me healthier and feel better. It might even stop me getting headaches so much.

It couldn't hurt. Except I know it will.

Perhaps what I'll do is start doing a bit of jogging and sit ups first then join a gym when my job situation is sorted out. In fact, I've had a thought. Seeing how I'm meant to be blogging every day next month (although more on that later) I think I could have a NoBloGymMo and say what exercise I've done for each day.

Sounds like a plan. As the California Dreams said "Less doo id".

More on the NaNoBloSchmo

I've realised I may have made a mistake signing up to the NaNoBloSchmo thing. I'm going to have problems getting near a PC for the first week!

Mum & Dad are staying over and will be sleeping in the PC room until Saturday, so I'll have to be regimented and blog in the afternoon. Without seeming rude.

However from Sunday to Tuesday we'll be in Manchester to see The Flaming Lips. Now I've just looked and the hotel has wi-fi, but would it be really rude to go blogging when I should be giving Freya my full attention? Yes, yes it would.

Damn.

Sorry BloHo but I might not hold out until the 6th. I will endeavour to do my best though.

I'm having such a good time...

DSC08861
Originally uploaded by uppi17.

...I'm having a ball.

Forgot to show my Shaun Of The Dead costume. So here it is.

She was disco lights on the Friday nights...

...she moves across the floor

So I didn't get ("the rival company" - ed) job. As I thought I did alright talking about the job, but pretty much failed when I was speaking about myself. The annoying thing is that when he was talking about the job I was thinking: "Yep. This sounds like what I'm doing now. All I have to do is bring that up and I might have a chance."

Except when it came to talking about myself all I did was go through my CV - no, but yes - in chronological order. And not making it sound interesting at all. Then I decided to somehow say that I beat myself up over mistakes. Rather than saying I take my mistakes on board and learn from them.

I'm so useless at making myself sound good. As you 0readers may have noticed.

But for some reason the agency still think someone may be stupid and take a chance on me. The most recent company they've offered me work in the Merrion centre in Leeds. I might go for it just on the Bo Selecta reference. My brother would love me just for that.

I've been trying to start blogging daily to get myself ready for NaBloPaMo (or whatever it's called). After all you wouldn't start running a marathon after no practise would you? ("I agree" - Jade)

Like that's going to do something against them guns...

...it's Rosie the nosey neighbour (woo!)

We got trapped in our house today. For some reason* the door handle to the front room is loose and falls off regularly. However as I'm never in the room that much I always forget and shut the door behind me. Which doesn't normally matter as we have the handle there and can open it with no problems.

Except today Freya put the handle in the kitchen as she was tidying up.

I didn't notice at first as I was eating. But after a few mouthfuls I looked up and knew something was wrong. My stomach tightened and (for once**) it wasn't due to the food.

I started to panic. Freya wasn't bothered and was really calm. She even wanted to finish her food first. I knew we'd probably get out, but I really wasn't sure how we'd do it. My plan was Freya going through the (open) front window, but I wouldn't have a clue what she'd do after that. Possibly she could've rung her Mum on the phone by collect call. I doubt she'd remember the number though.

Luckily through a combination of Freya using her knife to pry it open and me twisting the bit of the handle remaining, we go out. And I realised that I may be slightly claustrophobic.

So that's claustrophobia, vertigo and fear of cheese. Hey, these things do come in threes!


* Most probable reason is that the landlord is rubbish & doesn't fix anything.


** If you read this Freya this is a joke. Albeit a bad one.

Wendys, Sambos and Long John Silvers...

...take advantage of the efficiency

Hmmm. As usual I don't really have anything witty, funny or interesting to say*. So it's on with the show, except I've decided to change the name of the site.

Been getting a few compliments recently. My lack of shaving was described as nice by Laura the secretary, my Pink Rock t-shirt was described as great by someone at a cafe and I've been used to make someone's boyf jealous. Well not really, but she mentioned me to him a few times and apparently he got all "Who's this Ben then?". Even though he's met me.

Apparently there's something on THNTRNTeiee where you have to write a blog every day. Seeing how I have trouble writing anything for two weeks at a time I fail to see how increasing the frequency of these could make them worse so let's give it a try hey 0readers?

I may be finally having a night out tonight. Unfortunately it's fancy dress and I'm crap at dressing up. Yet I may have something that I could go as. Shaun Of The Dead.



OK so all I have to do is wear a short-sleeved shirt**, put a bit of red on it (ketchup is favourite so far), have a red tie and get a cricket bat (bought a super tiny one). But at least I'll be making an effort. Although I didn't have time to do the headband-with-half-a-dart-stuck-in-it-so-it-looks-as-though-the-dart-is-stuck-in-my-head idea, which might have topped it off.

Work problems continue apace. I really can't be bothered with it at the moment, which considering my usual lack of botheredness at work is really distressing. I did have an interview ("with a rival" - ed). As usual I choked when it came to talking about myself. I realise now I should've tied everything on my CV in with the job I was going for - and there were lots to tie together. But I'm blaming me not getting the job (although I don't know for sure yet) on four things:

1. Only finding about the interview the day before it happened
2. Getting absolutely soaked before the interview and completely forgetting my smart answers to questions
3. The interviewer picking his nose and scratching himself partway through the interview
4. The lights in the room going off partway through

Although these facts may actually work in my favour.

Freya got very drunk last night, which was quite funny. But I had to clear the mess up. Oh dear.

Mata ne,
Ben

* Possibly witty covers both the funny & interesting parts

** Which I had to buy as I only possess long-sleeved work shirts

Hey boy, where'd you get it from...

...Hey boy where did you go? I learnt my passion in the good old fashioned school of loverboys

Listening to the Adam & Joe podcast they mentioned weird fantasies you had when you were a kid and that rang a few bells with the stuff I came up with.

I used to daydream about being able to fly. But it wasn't any normal superman style flying. What you had to do was run as fast as possible, then your foot somehow found invisible steps and you managed to run up the steps so you were above everyone. I think as soon as you stopped running you fell back down to Earth, so you had to be ready for a long run.

I'm trying to remember if all you could do was run on a higher plane than everyone else. I'm quite sure that is all you could do. Pretty crap really in terms of fantasies.

Oh, and my other daydream was by saving the world through song. For some reason aliens invaded the Earth, but somehow if you sung "Good Old Fashioned Lover Boy" by Queen you saved the town that you sang it in. Because I knew it off by heart I would be able to save the day.

Now an alien invasion is highly unlikely. The fact that they've allergic to Queen songs more so. Yet in my head this turn of events never seemed weird and the chance to save the world each time I walked home from the bus stop was always in my mind. Strange.

Next time I could go into the nightmares I had as a kid, but they would be way too weird...

I can see there's something in your eyes...

...you just took a fall from paradise

And with that dodgy rhyme from Stefy it's time to go bullet-time as I can't be bothered making anything link together.

• VH1 had a show of 10 John Lydon songs, but cleverly showed it as John Lennon songs. Almost as bad as their Top 10 Come Songs. I'm not joking about this.
• I may be getting sacked soon as part of the forthcoming restructure. I may have mentioned this before but it's preying on my mind.
• I've started Japanese lessons and am already starting to regret it. We have to fill in homework diaries and then take an oral exam at the end. Considering I can't remember what Good Night is* this doesn't bode well.
  
  Also we're doing the Katakana symbols which I thought would be in the intermediate level. Although thinking about it, it's probably best I start early on this.

Cheerio reader!
* Oyasumi nasai

And nothing else matters...

...when you turn it up loud

Or load as I was about to write it.

I feel super rough today. Which doesn't really make sense as I had an extra long lie in, had regular meals & (as usual for the weekend) did absolutely nothing. This has been happening far too much for me recently. And my guts haven't been too good either.

Maybe I should see a doctor. But I can hardly see any diagnosis coming out of it.

So perhaps I should do more (some) exercise & hope that by moving about I can get out of the weird funk that my head is currently in.

Still at least I've still got work to look forward to, right?

http://business.guardian.co.uk/story/0,,1872824,00.html

Oh bum.

Well tomorrow I have a celebratory lunch with Diddy to celebrate passing my exam. This leaves me in a dilemma. Do I keep quiet & eat food or do I say how crap the restructure has been announced? Possibly the former. Although I may vomit as well ("I agree" - Mr Creosote).

I do actually have some funny stuff to write about, but I've completely forgotten what it was. It's written down somewhere though so you do have something to look forward to.

Hurrah!

Woke up on Monday...

...And got ready for school.

Forgot to mention one other thing from over the past few weeks. I got a letter addressed to a Mr. B. Hole. It turned out to be my Japanese language course application form that I ordered over the phone. Did the person hear me pronounce my surname properly & then decide to get it wrong on purpose or am I that crap at talking? ("The latter" - J Ross) Either way it's pretty funny and I may get it framed.

Kanpei!

If you stay there's no more to say...

...and I wouldn't wanna kiss you

So there's been a weekend in between my last update. I bet you think nothing has happened in between. Well as usual you're right. Except - it's bullet point time!

• Our new PC has been delivered, as expected it is fast and also as expected it is crashing for no apparent reason. It appears to crash when I'm running my torrent software which I think means something although I'm not sure what.
• When Freya was ill during her wisdom teeth being taken out I managed to make half-decent food for myself. Pasta sauces, spicy mince, cashew nut paella all bowed before my might. So she was right (Again) about me being a good cook.
• I have been announced as the best accountant in Yorkshire. Well, I got the highest TOPCIMA mark in Yorkshire. This either means I am very clever or everyone else in Yorkshire is thick. I'm still working out which is correct, so that must mean the latter option is the right one (except if I worked that out then I must be clever (ouch me brain (the latter then (except...))) Either way I have to come up with a quote for the local press and make sure it includes NU so that I keep my job in the restructure transformation. Any suggestions are welcome.
• I left out a closing bracket from the previous bullet point). That's better.
• My body has been a-coughing and a-spluttering since a leaving meal at ("A certain restaurant" - libel ed) which resulted in me showing up for work after four hours sleep looking worse than the people who stayed out drinking. This illness could be due to J Nash warning me in a gypsy fashion of the curse of working on an AP THNTRNTeiee page. I ignored him, obv, as curses don't exist. Ouch, me kidney.
• I still have absolutely nothing witty to write about ("I agree" - J Vaughan)
• From the end of September I will be learning Japanese at college so I can impress the Okatu's with my dictionary-like knowledge of their language.

Sayonara matey-peeps!

Ben

I fought the war...

...and the war won

So I was about to write a note saying how I was doing the washing up and Pull Shapes came on and it was the best feeling ever, but before I could write it up I sat down. And watched whatever. It's a show on channel four and is rubbish.

If you didn't already think programme comissioners weren't the stupidest people on Earth this show will help you reach that opinion. I shall explain it in this formula:

Why Don't You - Good Presenters + Annoying Youth Gob Presenters + Street Talk ^ Stupidity = Whatever

Blinded by the chancer we had oysters and dry lancers...

...and the cheque went in a rush, we went dutch, dutch, dutch, dutch

OK, so the every weekend an update didn't go according to plan either. But hey at least you're getting one now. At least in the five minutes I've decided I've got before I go to bed.

Work continues apace on AP4. By that I mean I've e-mailed most of the people who wrote bits for it before and got replies from them. J Nash, Mil, C-Monster and Flossie - I salute you.

So I logged onto myspace today (which I just use to keep tracks on music rather than have any proper friends on there) and had the following e-mail:

Hello. Are you very popular online? My best friend and I were checking single profiles online and saw yours. I hope you're available, because she's quite interested in meeting you. She doesn't have an account and not comfortable online dating. She's a student and visiting me from outside the good ole US of A. She'd love to know more about you and really lives close to you. I've done my special part, now it's up to you. You can contact her direclty at: waxy.sarah_p at yahoo. She's uber-smart, speaks many languages and is very very sexy - she's much thinner than I and much healthier overall. Thanks, and have a nice day.

OK, so let's look at this in detail. Am I popular online? My best friend on myspace is Petra Haden and only two people read this blog, so no. Actually we can't look in more detail as I'm already one* minute over. Suffice to say this e-mail freaks me out. In A Bad Way.

* Now two

Shake baby shake...

...You know I can fit you in my arms.

So my blog-a-day kinda got pushed aside for getting a good nights sleep. But I realised that it's not the quantity, but the quality of my blogs that my non-existent readers want. So sorry non-existent readers but you'll be getting the same crap quality about once a week instead of every day.

I suppose you'll all be interested to know that I know have my own website. It is at http://www.yellowreggae.co.uk. All it has on at the moment is a link to this blog, the old AP futurenet site and everything I know about eggs. Possibly the eggs bit is the best.

It's time I tell you what happened in the Larry David Meal. Even though it was about two months ago the reprecussions are still going on.

We went out for a meal with some mates. I had had a crap nights sleep beforehand and was feeling rather rubbish so I wasn't going to drink that much. My mates however had been drinking for a long time.

The meal was rather crap considering it was expensive and therefore is supposed to be good. I'd somehow ordered a pate for my starter, which I normally wouldn't do as I reckon I wouldn't like pate. I turned out to be correct in this opinion.

Freya & I weren't having any wine or a dessert. So (in theory) we should've had less to pay than everyone else. Turned out it was it was just over 270 quid between seven of us. So R & F were asking for thirty quid from everyone. So everyone gave them thirty quid, even myself and Freya - we're not that tight. Then R & F realised they were low on money so started muttering under their breath calling everyone 'peasants' and stuff. Someone else on our table stood up for Freya & I saying that as we'd hardly drunk anything & didn't have a dessert why should we pay more. R & F kept quiet but then F was still muttering.

A bit of a bad ending to the night.

So a few days after I went over to speak to F. He had a face like someone had just shat in his cereal. Then all he said was "I heard what Freya said about me." I didn't have a clue what he meant, although I think Freya did say something as we were leaving along the line's of "F is being a tithead". So all I did was say "Well you were hardly on top form either". And then walked away.

The weird thing is that F and his girlf are now ignoring us despite the fact that we should be more angry with him for what he said about us. However, I'm not really bothered about what he said about us as it was said after three bottles of wine. So why is he still playing up about this? I dunno, the best explanation I can think of is that he's embarrassed about what he did. The best ignoring us situation occured when we walked past them in town. Freya & I smiled at them, they pretended to look at the M&S display. Cut to ten minutes later, we walk past them again and still decide to smile. This time with no display to look at they have to nod. Hurrah! The being nice option pays off again!

From here to there to everywhere...

...And back to Union Square, where do I get some sleep?

Gah! Far too tired again. And I got soaked on my way back from work.

Been enjoying Phoenix Wright though - really had to concentrate.

Spoke to my Grandma to tell her I passed. She seemed happy enough, but she never wants to speak for long on the phone. I think we spoke for about three minutes.

Ah well.

Better get going...

...Better move along now, and find my own way.

Far too late a day at work today to have time to write my blog, read WOS, cook food and watch CSI Miami so something had to go. Sorry blog.

Tomorrow, definitely.

Best go, snooze patrol is here!

We dress cheap...

...we dress trashy

OK, so it's not a massive update but it's a start yes? I bought Phoenix Wright and Trauma Centre today. I'd probably say PW's my favourite at the moment, but both seem to be good little games. I shall write more tomorrow.

Summer in The City...

...means cleavage, cleavage, cleavage.

Wow. Apparently I am now a qualified accountant. Somehow in an exam that I previously had two fourty-five percent marks in (missing on passing by five percent) I have managed to turn things round so much that I got sixty-seven percent this time around. It's even more impressive considering that most people got high fifties as a high pass mark. Either I'm got more cleverer or I wrote in a better style this time around.

I think it was the latterer.

Although it may have helped that I asked for an extra pad to write on. Even though I only used it for one more sheet. Perhaps the marker just couldn't be bothered to look through three pads. I know I wouldn't.

I am now planning to write every day this week. Doubt I will though.

In One More Hour...

...I will be gone

Bye Sleater-Kinney
Two guitarists, one drummer
You were a riot (grrrl)

I can for miles...

and miles and miles (oh yeah)

Haven't written for a while. Will do so soon.

You need another element...

...You need it right away

I've just been to watch Germany - Costa Rica and Poland - Ecuador in the garden of a pub in Osnabruck. It was rather good. We got given free horns, whistles, flags and t-shirts. Would a similar thing be done in England? Probably not. Still, I'm off to Hamburg tomorrow. Hopefully I won't get confused as a hooligan and arrested.

Steve Beale - suited up - How I Met Your Mother
Every summer I appear to go on a magazine buying spree. I try to find a magazine that speaks out to me and manages to be entertaining yet also educational (or I think I'm learning from it anyway). I think the order went:

• Your Sinclair
• Amiga Power
• Loaded
• Esquire
• Possibly back to Loaded
• Total Film
• SFX
• Hotdog
• Word

Part way between SFX and Hotdog I started buying Arena. It was witty, amusing, had people like Kevin Smith writing for it and had pictures of Eliza Dushku in it. It was most enjoyable.

Then Steve Beale started writing for it.

His first article was him having plastic surgery. Mostly to get rid of his bitch tits. His conclusion was 'if you have poor self esteem, having plastic surgery could make you feel better'.

Then he 'gave up' hash. Again his conclusion was the pretty much obvious 'I felt more alert, didn't laze about so much & was more effective with my time'. However despite the benefits he found from giving up weed he still started smoking it by the end of the article.

When he started shagging ladyboys for the purposes for an article I started going off Arena's idea of a black collar worker (which I think is pretty much a guy in a suit, but a bit more independent than usual). In fact I stopped buying Arena completely. If any cute girls are in there (like Linda Cardellini) then I simply download the scans from the internet.

I think it's a bit bad that one guy managed to stop me buying one magazine, but it's that Steve Beale appeared to be considered to be the kind of man that Arena readers should look up to. And I just couldn't do that. Perhaps I'm too middle class for that kind of stuff.

However, since I stopped reading Arena I have actually started 'dressing up' for work as Arena would've wanted and worn a suit to work. For the first few days I got the jibes of "Are you going to a funeral/interview?" but I also got compliments - and mostly from girls!

Wearing a suit has made me feel more confident at work and I think people have altered how they deal with me accordingly. What a difference a tie makes.

But what made me wear a tie I hear you ask? It was Barney from How I Met Your Mother.

For those of you who don't know How I Met Your Mother is a sitcom with less of a standard sitcom way of going about things. It stars Nick from Freaks & Geeks, Doogie Howser MD and Willow from Buffy so already has my seal of approval for the casting alone.

It also gets further approval for having Doogie as a suit-wearing Quip-genius. Because of how Doogie is on the show is the only reason why I've started wearing a suit to work.

I recommend you watch it. Apart from the last two episodes in the first series, which have far too much plot and not enough comedy for my liking.

DS lite
My attempts at getting the frag dolls and readers of this blog to make me buy either an Xbox 360 or a DS lite were a bit crap. The frag dolls just sat on the fence and said "what you want is best for you". God I just wanted an answer either way!

Anyway, when I found out that the DS Lite was being released at the end of June I decided to pre-order one. This is the first time I will ever get a console on its release date. Except the DS has been out for about a year already.

I shall be getting Mario Kart, Animal Crossing and Brain Training before I even have a DS. This is kind of strange, but I think I'll like it.

But now, I feel so weak...

...Dead trees and traffic islands never sleep

So I've spent my first night away from Freya since we've moved in together and I miss her terribly. I know that's a soppy thing to say, but I really do. So why am I spending four (count 'em, four) night away from my girlf? It's because I'm going to the World Cup.

Not to go and see England as I'm not patriotic enough. I've never watched an England international all the way through since about Euro 96. Probably because ever since then they've played ugly, boring, depressing football. This stance causes friction with work colleagues (like at the Larry David Meal) but I don't care. Perhaps tomorrow I'll be swayed when I see England play on the big screen in Hamburg tomorrow. Who knows?

One thing I know I won't be doing is wearing a shirt with the St. Georges Cross on there shouting my head off about England and how we're the best team in the tournament. What's strange is that in the village in Germany where my Mum & Dad live* some cars here have the annoying small English flags hanging out of their windows. I'm sure that if a German tried the same thing in England they'd have a much harder time than the people over here have.

I don't have any evidence to support why I think this. I just have a feeling. And surely that's enough right? ("I agree" - Derek Acorah)

Horse racing
A few weeks ago, just before my second retake of my final CIMA exam, my team went horse racing. Like the previous time I went horse racing (for Sarah's birthday) none of my horses came in. In fact I don't think I've won any kind of gambling thing (apart from a few hands on online poker). But it's not as though I've got bad luck - I correctly told my Dad that Minnehoma was going to win the Grand National. So the problem is that I'm rubbish with my own money.

Best keep it well invested instead then eh? ("I agree" - Nick Leeson).

Tschus!
* In case I didn't mention (which I didn't), I'm staying at my Mum & Dad's house

I've got my hand in your head...

...and I'm pulling out all of your mind.

Ergh. I have a hangover/migraine today and it's not very nice. It's even worse because I only had two drinks (admittedly cocktails) so I have no real reason for feeling like someone just shat in my cereal. Anyway what happened yesterday kind of connects one of the topics I still have to talk about.

Gemma's phone number
Thanks for reminding me.

In case you weren't aware I am crap around girls. I'd say I've fancied around thirty girls, spoken to around ten of these and been on a date with five of these. Most of my girlfriends arose on a drunken journey. This is because girls like confident people and a sober Ben is not confident.

Therefore I am very happy to have a wonderful girlfriend who actually pressured me into calling her back. It takes a lot of pressure away when someone says "I like you". When no-one clarifies that you're left to thinking little things mean someone is saying "I like you". Which brings me onto Gemma's phone number.

I've been getting my haircut by Cube in York and especially by the Lovely Gemma. She is very cute, wears nice clothes (this really means a lot to me) and is into good music. She's been cutting my hair for about 2 years and whilst at the beginning I had a major crush on her this has slowly moved into (gach) friendship.

So anyway, last week (before my accounting exam) Gemma - no, but yes! - was cutting my hair and we were chatting. Mostly it was her stressing about getting a flat with her boyfriend (and me trying to calm her down - it's very scary having a panicky person with big scissors behind you). She was giving the impression that she wasn't happy about moving & settling down - which I'm sure is pre-match nerves and she's probably happily tucked up in bed with said boyf now.

Last week, I calmed her down as best as I could, got a shave by the Turkish guy there (for the first time ever - which actually I should talk about later as well), picked up some leaflet by the cash register and left. When I got home it turned out that the leaflet I picked up was actually some competition entry at Principles that Gemma had filled out and had her mobile phone number on. As I don't know where Principles is I shredded the leaflet* and forgot about it (until now, obv).

So what would I have done if the same thing happened two years ago? Probably the following:

I'd have thought Gemma's worrying about moving in was her saying that she fancied me. Then when she looked at me in the mirror I'd have thought that was a moment between us. Then when she brought the leaflets and I took them home I'd have thought that was her slyly trying to give me her number.

Totally wrong conclusion, natch, but this is what boys do when they are after a girlfriend.

And a similar thing happened last night.

What happened last night

Jon at work has got a promotion & will be moving back to Norwich. So I showed up at the local cocktail bar Monteys where Jon was at the bar with Laura and Lorna. Laura is quite nice (a few too many tattoos for me**) and greeted me by rubbing my arms and touching me lots.

She did a bit more during the afternoon as well. Again I would have taken this as a hint that she fancied me. Then, as I have done now, I would have done absoutely nothing about it. Although at least now it's because I'm happily co-habiting with the lovely Schatzipuss and not because I'm far too chicken to do anything.

Confidence is key.

Bic Runga & bad gig people

So Freya & I went to see Bic Runga at Fibbers on Wednesday. My Uncle Andrew and his girlfriend showed up as well. Aside from a few racist comments by Andrew & Lisa it went ok. Bic Runga was very beautiful and sang amazingly well. Her backing band was in London, but it was much more intimate and special as a result.
What wasn't good was bad gig goers:

• Don't dance by thrusting your groin area in and out. Some bald guy was doing it at the Bic gig and a Boris Johnson a like was doing it at the Goldfrapp gig. Therefore groin thrusting is now called 'doing a Boris'.
• Take pictures if you want, but don't keep putting your digital camera up in the air and taking pictures throughout a song. One or two pictures are fine.
• Don't use a mobile phone for pictures as they will look shit. Dark rooms with bright lights do not mix for phone pics.
• Do fiddle with the settings on your digital camera. But Don't if it keeps bleeping when you press a button. It's very annoying, especially at a quiet acoustic gig.
• Don't go off and get drinks for everyone halfway through the set. And then don't say "Cider" in a loud voice. People may hear that rather than the lovely Bic's voice.
• Sing along to the songs but don't if you don't actually know all the words.

What I should do is now have a Bic Runga video, but they don't have any on youtube. So let's have Cake's Short Skirt and Long Jacket. For a brief period I was looking for a girl who fitted all of the criteria they said. God I was useless. This is a good song, but apparently misses the 'rising action'.

* Don't worry there were loads of competition entries there so Gemma would still have entered it (I hope).

** Actually one tattoo is too much for me.

Well the full moon maggie says the grass is getting shaggy...

...Mow the lawn

Start of the catch-up session whilst Freya's cooing over Fieldmeeces on Springwatch.

No-one reads this anymore
OK, I guess that's not really true as people would have had to had read it in the first place. And I suppose I never really advertise my website. What I should do is random browsing of blogs and post seemingly relevant comments. But I'm really rubbish at that.

Let's consider who've commented on my site:
Shelle
Linzi
Cathy - these three all came because I foolishly mentioned it to them
Kiwiqueen
Bogbumper - these two came here of their own accord (and then left quickly)
Person trying to sell oil - I didn't really understand his point, but thank you oil person!

All very nice people but 6 isn't really enough to consider continuing with this. Or is it?

Hmmm. Let's continue with this tomorrow and see how it goes. I'll go through all the topics later. Oh and I need to add:

Bic Runga & bad gig people

Let's have some Moloko to take us out...

Fell down the stairs into my arms...

...and swiftly ran the other way

It's the usual - Ben hasn't updated for a while so he writes a load of topics down so he can write about them later.

I'm off to pass my final Accounting exam. Wish me luck! (edit - I think I've failed it again)

No-one reads this anymore
Hearts car
Steve Beale - Suited up - How I met your mother
Exam - revision
DS Lite
Gemma's phone number
Ian Collins - Iain Lee - James Whale
Walk round York
Tilly and the Wall
Horse Racing
Larry David Meal

The tower of power...

...too sweet to be sour. Funky like a monkey. Ooooh yeah.

Looking at the 24 review I did makes me feel ill. Because it's rubbish. Perhaps I should've written it down first. Planning is key. Much like the exam I keep failing to become a qualified accountant.

And I need to pass this exam. Not because I'll have no more to do, but because I have promised to get myself either an Xbox 360 or a DS lite when I pass it.

But which should I get? I am torn between the two so I am allowing you, the reader of this blog, or you, the fragdoll forumers to decide. By the time of my exam (May 25th) I will collate all the votes and then start saving my pennies towards that console.

Not to sway you either way, but this is what I think of the two:

Xbox 360

• Live is meant to be excellent. I've kind of played it, but not yet had the full experience.
• However, Live costs money whereas the DS' online is free.
• Graphics are amazing & the speed is impressive.
• However, a £1,000 HD telly is needed & I won't be getting one of them for about three years.
• GRAW and Oblivion appear to be wicked cool
• However I've around eight games for the original Xbox that I still haven't completed. Why do I need new games, shouldn't I complete my old ones first? (I haven't even Beyond Good & Evil yet)
• Although let's be honest, I'm never going to complete Ninja Gaiden

DS Lite

• It's not out yet & may not even be available on results day in June
• Freya would like Animal Crossing & Nintendogs
• However seeing as I can't get near the gamecube as she's always playing AC I may not get near the DS
• It can't play videos like the PSP & doesn't have GTA
• But it will have online Pro Evo
• I could get cleverer by using Brain Training
• Mario Kart on the toilet
• Wario Ware Twisted may finally be out in June - it's been one whole year Nintendo!

The choice is yours...

They call me Mr. Carbohydrate...

...They call me Mister Inadequate

As per usual I'm up far too late and I'm ill. This time I have a bit of a sore throat so I have snucked away from Freya and got some water for my tablets.

Had a good bank holiday weekend. Mum & Dad came over. Saw Andrew & Joe (and Andrew's plastic fantastic gf & her unruly kids). And saw my Grandma & Dennis for the first time in years. All in all a good weekend.

However, I need bed.

I'd rather Jack...

...than Fleetwood Mac. Aka the 24 mobile game review.

The problem with games nowadays is they are far too complicated. Take The Warriors which if it were made 10 years ago it would be a button basher similar to Final Fight, but has now been made as a part-button basher, part stealth 'em up, part annoying running into the camera/running into fences straight in front of you which if the camera were only the other way around you'd see easily. However despite this The Warriors is excellent. It's one of the few games I've completed recently. 24 is the other.

One of the reasons I felt compelled to complete The Warriors was that it felt just like the movie. 24 feels absolutely nothing like the tv show. I just completed it as I needed something to do on the toilet at work.

It's a hark back to the Ocean 8/16 bit multi level film tie ins. The added advantage is that the loading times for each level are about 5 seconds instead of 5 minutes. The disadvantage is that it you have to use the number pad of your phone to play - surely the most annoying control method since the PS2 dual shock pad.

Quick Jack! Hide behind those bookshelves...
They'll never see you there!

It doesn't help that all the games were programmed by people with absolutely no idea of how to make a game playable. The logic puzzles (based on Lights out, basic code breaking and a simple follow the line task) are perfectly serviceable, the driving game are ok (except you have to keep pressing up to accelerate), the action bits are rubbish.

In the main action bit pressing right makes you keep going to the right with no way of stopping unless you change directions or hit something else. The baddies just wander in a direct way to yourself unless a shelf is in the way in which case they just stand there. Through lots of practise you can work out there's a place to wait, occasionally peeking out then running back to the hidey hole waiting for the baddy, shooting them and so on. But for the casual gamer it's going to be impossible for someone to work this out.

The slightly annoying driving bit. Annoying as by accelerating you
put yourself at the top of the screen. Right where the other cars
are coming in.

The stealth bits are also rubbish for people unable to put the hours in. For the first few goes I tried the most direct route, only to eventually discover there was a few safer path just a few steps below.

In your role as a CTU agent you get to allocate agent to the different areas. The game makes careful note to "choose people by their attributes". This would be useful if it actually said what each area entailed. Instead you have to decide whether Chloe or Jack is best suited to the Docks or Club 54. The best example of this is where each area is called Radio Tower and you have to select a person for each area. Once again the game is eliminating all the people who can't be arsed to memorise what levels are contained in each area.

This is why I hate it. And the plot is rubbish too. However you can name your character, so plus points for allowing yourself to be called Agent Osama. That's where he is Bushy!

Probably the best bit of the game - the return of the Elder Puzzle.

If you could change the world with a flick of a switch;

Would you do it? (yeahyeahyeahyeahyeahyeahyeahyeah)



No one tells a Mighty Being how to solve a maze.

24 mobile phone review up tomorrow!

I've got bottles and cans of food...

...filtered water & pictures of you.

Ok so it's 3.30am and once again I should be in bed (sorry Freya) but I've got severe insomnia. Instead of snoozing I've been looking for new redheads to go along with my old list. The original list can be found here.

So who should be included in the new one then? I am proud to display... new hot redheads:

• Alyson Hannigan - how I missed her off the first redheads list I don't know. She's one of the first redheads I ever had a crush on
• Molly from the faders - look at the picture on the profile! Twirling the hair in her hand & huuuuge expressive eyes, just what I like
• Julianne Moore - along with Alyson another one I missed off the first list. A sophisticated actress, who also got her kit off in Boogie Nights
• Lindsay Lohan - She's become progressively worse since she got rid of the gingery-ness. Blonde just doesn't suit the freckles. Crap actress though
• Lita - Possibly another one I left off the original list. However not impressed with the fake boobs, possibly see Linsday Lohan
• Jenny Lewis - I don't know if you'd call her a redhead, but there's a definite tinge there. And she's definitely cute
• Justine Joli - Well she's a rudie movie star, but I found her out through FHM so don't think any bad things about me. Actually buying FHM is almost as bad as buying rudie movies, but she's rather attractive despite this
• Jam - She's a fragdoll, which apparently means she's a role model for young girls to look up for in gaming. And yet for some reason more boys than girls appear to be in their forum. However she does actually appear to know a few things about games so she's a proper gamer. And watch her video about FarCry* for comedy french accents ahoy!
• Freya aka the Schatzipuss - ok she hasn't got red hair but she sure is cute!

Well back to finish watching the Telly Addicts I downloaded & then it's off to bed to wake up two hours later.

* Or Fuckree as the guy says it

Checking out my Wigwam, wigwam, wigwam...

Checking out my boo, boo, boo.

It's nearly 1am and I should have been sleeping at least 2 hours ago. Perhaps I should go there now. Before I go, expect computer news (wow that will scare my remaining two readers away) and also accounting exam detail over the next week.

I don't know if I'm tired...

...and I don't know if I'm ill.

Actually I'm tired. And having to use a dial up connection as I haven't been hooked up with broadband yet. So this will be very short.

I've fully moved in with Freya and it's great.

Cheerio

She's like a new girl every day...

...and all the rest don't bother me. I'm far too busy loving her.

OK, well it's 1.12am, I should be asleep (or packing boxes) but my alcoholic housemate Andy is stomping up and down the stairs in a drunken haze and I doubt I'll be getting some sleep so I've put some Tommy Boyd on my mp3 player and started to write up my topics from previously. Oh and I've rejigged the look of the blog as both* of my regular viewers will know. I hope my weekly music chart comes in handy.

handle me with care:
Freya & I went to see the lovely Jenny Lewis in Manchester in the middle of February. As expected she was excellent and looked as beautiful as ever. We were right by the front and could hear everything perfectly.

What we weren't expecting was Johnathan Rice to be so good, or for him to have such a weird accent. He plays Bob Dylan in Walk The Line and Johnathan's accent sounds a bit like Bob's but even weirder. Farmer Dave and The Watson Twins were good as well. I should be adding pictures on flickr soon.

dolphins:
Whilst in Manchester (my brother was up for the gig as well) Tom tried to embarrass me in front of Freya with stories about me. What was bad was that he kept getting them wrong. For example, the story that I fancy dolphins.

What he said happened was a few years back we were in Sea World - Adventure Cove (I think that's what it's called), Orlando and we were going swimming with dolphins. My brother said when I came out of the water I had a rather large protrusion. Tom thought it was due to swimming with Martha the dolphin. But it wasn't.

What happened was this, I had just flown in (my family went earlier as they all worked/went to school) and I was getting used to the higher heat. Plus I was on a different time zone. So we went swimming (it was with the little fishes when this happened) and I think because of the heat, the water and that I didn't know what time it was I had a large erection.

The stupid thing was that I got out of the water with my erection not thinking that anyone would notice (Hey no-one had ever noticed it before - I mean in my life, not just in the pool) but my brother did. Luckily he warned me, but then told everyone else about it.

scary party 24th bisexual:
Xmas 2004:
Tom & I flew over to spend Christmas with our family in Osnabruck. Dad picked us up and drove us to the house. "Mum's at a party with the next door neighbour, but they're nice."

They weren't nice.

The Dad (Bill) had a really annoying Scouse accent. The kind that is quite high pitched and just digs into you. Plus he said my brother was wearing 'gay bands'. What my brother was wearing was the bands you get to let you back in at music festivals. How they make you gay I don't know. I've blocked everything else from this night out of my memory, I just know it was bad.

Xmas 2005:
Tom & I flew over to spend Christmas with our family in Osnabruck. Dad picked us up and as he drove us back we told him, "We're not going to any parties at Bill's Dad" "Don't worry, we won't be going there"

A few days later and Tom went up to Monchengladbach to spend time with his mates. Guess what happened in his absence?**

We went to the party (I decided I wasn't drinking so I could pretend I was ill - although drinking would give me a better excuse of being ill thinking about it) only to find Bill's wife's yokel brother was round.

He was well dodgy. For some reason he was slagging off Sharon & Ozzy Osbourne for them slagging off Madonna. Apparently they can't slag her off because Madge is a good Mum whereas they call their daughter a slag. This was bad for me & Tom as we call our Dad a 'tubby little titwitch' as a matter of course.

Then Bill came in. He was talking about how he hates Snowboarders and how he kills them. Apparently this is because one nearly ran him over.*** So Bill decided to interrogate everyone about what they did: Ski or Snowboard.

Most were Ski, but then it came to me. I could Ski rather well, but had Snowboarded as well. So I said "I've snowboarded, but I've also skied. I'm bisexual." Then I made my excuses and left.

It really was a shit party.

scary woman meeting room:
At work we were meant to be having an excel training course in a room full of computers. But when I got there with the projector (as I'm trusted, and possibly drew the short straw) there was someone in there saying they had booked it.

Cue running around trying to find out who had booked the room. It looked like it should be us, but we had a question mark next to us - they weren't on there though. We also had an external person coming over so I was having to placate her as well.

Then we went back to the room where I met a kind and helpful person where we came to a conclusion that helped both of us achieve our goals. Oh wait, this is the 'scary woman meeting room' topic. She was a really horrible person, the sort of person who just doesn't listen to what you're saying and only her opinion is correct. We were trying to be as nice as possible but said that as she wasn't on the booking for the room at all we had the right to kick her out. "Well OK as long as you are prepared to pay for the wages of everyone who I'll have to send home early because I can't train them"

Luckily as I am excellent I found a place where we could be trained and saved the day. Then I walked past the room at 2.15ish only to find that the other team had gone home for the day.

I bet we paid her a full wage for the day as well, the skiving miserable work-shy trumpet head.

flights are annoying:
I expect the US are good at this, but the brits are crap at connecting flights. To get to Germany this time I took a flight from Manchester to London Stansted then onto Osnabruck. Unfortunately I was assuming that when I got to Manchester I would wait for half an hour then onto the flight.

I wasn't expecting getting a bus journey on arrival then a monorail only to arrive about 50 meters from where I'd first got off the aeroplane. The idiots. And then there was about a two hour wait.

It was even worse when I flew back at 6 in the morning. And then the connecting flight was delayed for an hour. Grrrr.

PC trouble:
As befits me I have been having PC troubles. My broadband modem decides to cut out after about 9 minutes of working. So I'll have to spend £80 on wi-fi. Hurrah! Oh wait I can't afford it because I'm...

moving in:
with the lovely Freya. The date has been set, it's this Tuesday (the 28th) and it will be wonderful. I think I'm ready for this step and can't see how it won't work. I've told Freya that as a man we don't notice when things are getting dirty so I will have to be told & then I'll help out.

My Mum & Dad are coming to stay the first weekend when we're in there so that'll be stressful/fun. But at least they will be bringing bookshelves, lights and chests of drawers from ikea for us. Hurrah!

failed exam:
I failed my final CIMA exam again. With exactly the same mark as the last time I failed. This is annoying.

last.fmflickr.comdeli.cio.us:
These are all websites that show what I like & then you can work out what you like from it. It's web 2.0 apparently, which is a geek way of saying 'more interactive than before'****.

So here are my pages on them there websites:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/10268080@N00/
http://www.last.fm/user/uppi17/
http://del.icio.us/uppi17

I will put them on the right hand side of here now I'm getting used to how the template thing works.

david hasselhoff:
I like David Hasselhoff. This is wrong on so many levels.

Bis bald!
Benjamin Blumchen

* Both! That's a bit of a high estimate isn't it? (Yes - ed)

** I've just realised that this is wrong. Tom did go round to their house, but was away when they came round to ours. Bill's wife turned the conversation onto kids at the park (which their houses back garden looks onto) having a shit/piss in front of them while Bill & the missus were having a G&T. Not a good chat to be listening to.

*** So Bill caught him up and pushed him over. What a nice chap.

**** You can tell it probably shouldn't be called be web 2.0 as it's actually quite good. As opposed to the other famous 2.0's: Garbage's Version 2.0 and Jake 2.0

Chicken!

Pay the chicken back, back do the chicken back payback the chicken back, do the chicken payback.

Well I remembered to write, but I'll have to leave the explanation of my previous blog until the weekend. Thought you'd all like to be kept up to date.

Everybody's got somebody...

...to leeeeeeeeeean on.

Will expand on this little lot tomorrow (hopefully) but this is what's happened since the last update:

handle me with care
dolphins
scary party 24th bisexual
scary woman meeting room
flights are annoying
pc trouble
moving in
failed exam
last.fmflickr.comdeli.cio.us
david hasselhoff

Intruiging isn't it?

Love, luck and lollipops. Ben

January...

...Sick and tired, you've been hanging on me

OK, so it's not January but as we all know I'm not going to write again until about mid March time I thought I should mention it at least once.

I'm currently in Germany staying at my folks for Christmas. As usual it has been excellent to catch up with them. A Christmas in Germany is good as you're more likely to see some snow. Which we did on Boxing Day & today.

I bought my brother the R Kelly DVD - Trapped in the Closet. I knew it was a slightly jokey present but I was hoping he'd like it. As usual I was correct.

Freya got the Disney Robin Hood DVD but little does she know that when she rings me to tell me she got home from her Dad's OK, I'm going to let her know that Santa told me he left a present in her room for her.

Did I tell you that I failed my final Accounting exam I took back in September? Well I retook it in November & will have the results on January 26th. I hope so much that I've passed, purely because I don't want to take it again. My boss Colin was telling people I'd already passed which was really annoying me.

Anyway, happy holidays everyone who reads this (possibly about 2 people) and I will speak to you soon.

Howl's Moving Castle

It's good. Go see it.

I've found my soldier girl...

...she's so far away - she makes my head spin around.

Yesterday was quite a major culinary event in my short life - for the first time I had a meal without any meat in. Now I know that sounds weird but my family are big meat eaters and this was a large risk that I was taking.

But I liked it. Sure it wasn't amazing but it wasn't terrible. I had pasta with tomato sauce & vegatables and I ate it all.

Wonders will never cease.

Time...

...is never time enough...

So I've been in London over the past week. Erm, started off well but then went very bad as I'm sure you've heard about.

Let's start with the good stuff first. Freya & I checked into our room (right by Kings Cross) and then set off to meet my brother - who was coming in from Cambridge. We then walked up to Camden Town met Tom's friend Alex and then set off to see Rilo Kiley.

As expected Rilo Kiley were excellent. They didn't have much to say but the music was just sublime. They played pretty much everything off their last two albums. Where we were stood was right by the front near where the Lovely Jenny Lewis sang. I think she looked at Freya & I at least once that night. Plus she was wearing a Very short skirt so when she streched you could see her knickers. I was very impressed. Not as impressed as I was with Blake's dodgy 'tache though.

Unfortunately I didn't realise that Metropolis were promoting the gig. If I had I could've spoken to Uncle Andy who knows someone who works for Metropolis I could've got backstage to meet with the Lovely Jenny. Freya could've also met Pierre's cute daughter that he brought out for the final sing-a-long.

So then on Wednesday I got to tell Freya my surprise which was that I had got tickets to go and see Nigella Lawson film her new chat show. Freya was very impressed by this so I was annoyed when we got turned away because it already full.

However we went to Covent Garden and then on the Millenium Eye and had a lovely day together. The Millenium Eye was really nice, will post the pics from there later.

Then on Thursday the bombs went off in the underground. The weird thing was that even though we were staying about two minutes from where a bomb went off we couldn't hear anything.

The street our hotel was on was cordoned off and we had to stay an extra day in London - when the main thing we wanted to do was get the hell out of there. At least we were ok, many others weren't.

Hopefully our next holiday in Malta will be a lot quieter.

I can do the frug

I can do the robocop, I can do the Freddie, I cannot do the Smurf (she cannot do the Smurf).

Last time I was on here I was about to see Rilo Kiley supporting Bright Eyes and now I'm off to see Rilo Kiley again. My lord it's been a while since I've been on here.

Not much to report. Did accounting exams, results later this month. Freya still hasn't got bored of me and is still going out with me. In fact we're going to London tomorrow to see RK.

Will write more and renovate later this week.

I promise.

Don't ever think...

...Ever think, ever think (too much)

Hello readers!

Sorry I haven't written for aaaaages. I could blame it on having to start studying for Important Accountancy Exams, but I'm putting it down to my extreme laziness.

So other than pretending to understand how NPV and IRR calculations work what have I been up to? Waking up far too late for work for my liking and then feeling really tired when I get home. I need to start being more active.

Freya and I are doing pretty well - sometimes I think she gets a bit too clingy but I suspect that I'm not too clingy enough for her. Must be my laidback nature.

The major thing that's happening for me this week is that tomorrow I will be going down to Cambridge to see my brother and then we will go on to see The Donnas. Then we will be coming back up to York, picking up Freya and my Uncle Andy to go and see Rilo Kiley support Bright Eyes. I have a new battery for my camera, expect lots of pictures.

Come on Forest!

five by five

I've just realised I haven't updated this for aaaaaages.

So a quick summation of what happened:

Christmas was great, it was cool to see my parents and brother again.

I've managed to find a gorgeous girl who thinks (for some weird reason) that I'm cute as well. Her name's Freya (there's pics of her below) and she's 19 which makes her about 6 years younger than me. Erk, but who cares?

I passed my accounting exam which now means I've only got about 4 more exams to take before I'm fully qualified.

Best (and most important) it's my birthday this Thursday! Yes on the 17th I will be 25 years old.

I will write more soon I promise.

Trying to look like Bruce Campbell

Xmas meal (the second one)

Slightly blurry, very posed

Xmas Meal (the first one) I like this pic

Me & Freya

Xmas meal (the third one)

Another drunk New Years Eve pic

Drunk New Years Eve pic

Me & C3PO (Anthony Daniels)

A brotherly hug

Snowy Christmas in Germany

Me & Jelly at Christmas

A long time ago a point of view

Was broadcast by Mr. Bartholomew.

And hello readers! As usual not much to report from my boring life. I've just taken an exam in Strategic and Project management which was as exciting as it sounds. Although I was really panicking about it yesterday I actually think it went rather well. So hopefully I'll be doing the higher level exams in May/June next year... Hang on, do I really want to be doing three exams at that time? I never really think these things through do I, eh readers?

Something rather good that happened to me is that I've found out that another girl thinks I'm attractive. A week or so ago I bumped into a friend from work and even though I only saw them for a minute or so, one of the people who my friend was with thought I was kinda cute. This is always nice to know. And the girl who works with my flatmate who thought I was cute has been asking about me again.

Other than that I've found out my job is moving teams, which doesn't really affect me too much as the team I'll be moving to sit right behind me. And I also know most of them already so I'm really not bothered about it.

The major thing that is happening to me is that I'm off to London for a special event. Amber Benson (Tara from Buffy) wrote this web show thingy called Ghosts Of Albion which is rather good and is most enjoyable to watch. There's a competition on there that if you get a question right (one is set every day) you get the chance to go to London for a special VIP event and for the chance to win a crown worth two thousand english pounds. So it should be good fun, I just got my ticket today so I've got to book a train to London for the 18th December. Wish me luck, I'll still remember you when I'm royalty.

Cheerio,
Ben x

It's sixteen miles to the promised land

And I promise you I'm doing the best I can.

Hello readers and welcome to another posting where I go on about my life whilst people around the world are having problems infinitely worse than mine - which currently consist of worrying about exams, gizmos breaking on me and having to talk to girls.

Oh but I have spoken to some girls, remember the cleaner? Well when I got my haircut on Wednesday (still trying to grow it longer, but it needed tidying up) I saw her sitting - with a guy - by the fountain. Now of course I'm not brave enough to go up to someone in the street and chat them up, but on Thursday it was a different matter. Late at work she came close to my desk so I thought I'd mention I saw her the day before. And bless her I think made her really embarrassed, she didn't think anyone from NU would recognise her outside of the building. I think she was secretly quite impressed though. I doubt anything will happen but it's nice to talk to people you don't know (and it helps if you think they're rather cute).

Yesterday I had a mock exam in Project & Systems Management (you know it's taking accounting exams that must just make me irresistable to the opposite sex) and it went quite well. Just over fifty percent in two questions, twenty-five percent in another and over ninety percent in another. So I feel I just may have a chance in passing this exam, it's gonna be close though.

Recently I have bought the new Cake and the Donnas albums. Both are rather excellent, but I'm going to have to send the Donnas CD back as it didn't come with the DVD as promised. The Donnas are playing in London on my birthday (17th Feb) so I'm definitely going to have to go to that and see if they'll sing me Happy Birthday. Oh I went to see Dizzee Rascal on Friday - he was excellent. I highly recommend his brand of Hip-Hop - 'Grime' - to anyone.

That's about it - oh I have a new cousin called Scarlett and I understand she is quite a nice baby. I doubt she looks as nice as I look in my baby picture below, but then again who can?

Bye, I love you all.

A very cute baby

Me at a friend Sarah's birthday doing a hip-hop stance - I'm so cool!

Me giving the thumbs up

My Uncle Andy, me, Carl's 'friend' Gemma and my Uncle Carl going on Air

My brother Tom doing the biggles eyes

My little cousin Joe at Alton Towers

Cut off in my prime

OK, been meaning to write for a while but have simply not been able to get to a computer. Firstly about 3 weeks ago our phone line got cut off - not because we haven't been able to pay it - but because Tom (my really horrible flatmate) moved out and he decided to cut the phone off. This is why I haven't been on for ages.
I think the last messages I sent were some pics from when I went drinking with my colleagues. It was (as usual) a rather drunken night.

Other things I did was go to Alton Towers with my brother, my Uncle Andy, my cousin Joe and my Uncle Carl. It was a great day, the weather wasn't too bad & there were no queues so we got to go on all the rides. The best bit however was when we were leaving and (because it was nearly Halloween) there were a load of employees having to put on a show with scary music in the background (for example Thriller or the theme from Ghostbusters). There was this one guy who obviously didn't want to be there and just wasn't putting in the effort at all. I'm gonna try and include it as a movie on here if possible.

My Mum and Dad have been over. Mum looks really well, but my Dad's belly has just gotten huge. I hope that this doesn't mean it'll happen to me in the future...

I've finally moved flats - the old place was just getting far too manky. I have an even smaller room, but the place is nice and warm, has a good view and is really close to town. Little things like that really make a difference. Just need to get the shower & TV working properly...

I won an award at work for putting in the extra effort to complete something. What happened was we weren't charging VAT on some invoices for about 15 months. Unfortunately I had just taken on responsibility for invoices so I had to sort out the whole sorry mess. It turned out we owed the taxman £1,500,000. Quite a bit of shrapnel I'm sure you'd agree. So I have £125 worth of vouchers to spend.

Other than that, not much to report. Did I mention I fancied the cleaner at our work? She's younger than me, brunette and (natch) really cute. Perhaps I will ask her out next week, need to actually speak to her in the first place though...

I will write more regularly in the future. Oh the Zutons are a good band.

me at the end of the night, pissed but finally looking at the camera

me, michelle & kully - looking up but also looking wistful

me & kully - my current boss

me early on... therefore i'm not looking up... i should've shaved though (still haven't however)

again looking up... this is really stupid

me & michelle

me, michelle & debbie at this point i started looking up for every picture

taken at the end of the night

Dr. Jones: Wake Up Now

So I guess from the last comment on this site I haven't blogged for a while. Here's a quick update of what's happened in the past week or so:

• Emma and I handed in our notice at the flat to move into a new place
• Emma went back to look at the new place again and the landlord was being really dodgy to her "You remind me of my wife... You can't afford the rent, come work at my restaurant". Needless to say we didn't take it.
• Just looked at another flat today. Rather expensive (more than twice as much as I currently pay), but I think it's worth it. Need to speak to Emma about it.
• Worked exceptionally long hours almost every day. I stayed so long that the cleaners were having to clean around me.
• Realised one of the cleaners is rather cute.
• Got Rilo Kiley's (More Adventurous) and Nellie McKay's (Get Away From Me) new albums. Both are rather excellent.
• Watched the usual American shows.
• Finished watched my series 2 DVD of Alias. As usual a classic.
• Wore a black tie to work in honour of Brian Clough. He was the best manager my football team ever had and he died last week.
• Wore a lucky green jumper on Sunday for Forest's footy game as that's what Cloughie wore to every match. We finally won our first game of the season. Cloughie had something to do with that.
• Saw a GameCube with Donkey Konga on it. Seems like it will be one of the best games I could possibly play.

That's about it. Oh and the cavaliers and roundheads were having a fight near my house, but I'll write more about that later.

Bye!

I'm Greg Dyke...

and I was director general of the BBC.

But anyway. I'm currently halfway through my 5 hour tape of American shows that I recorded during the week which is Sopranos, 6ft Under, Nip/Tuck and Line of Fire. I would include the West Wing in that but I actually watched it when it was on instead of being asleep at ten o'clock. You may not know what Line of Fire is but it's a rather good FBI vs Mob show. It flicks between both sides and I'm rooting for the Feds.

Oh forgot to mention that Laura Prepon (that 70's Show), Alicia Witt (Cybil) and Lauren Ambrose (6ft Under) are also cute Redheads. And also I'm not purely into redheads. Just that I feel they're not recognised as the cute creatures they are. Most people would just be against redheads. And that's a Bad Thing in my book. Can I just say I fancy both brunettes, blondes and redheads equally.

Well, I'm planning on doing nothing this weekend. Saturday is nearly over and all I've done is listen to BBC radio 2, which is meant to be the old fogies channel but actually plays some decent tunes. Then I watched my video and now I'm drinking some Becks. Gonna have an early night.

On Wednesday I went to a pub quiz with some mates from work. Decided to drink Guiness instead of my usual Becks. Unfortunately this coincided with me wearing a green jacket and a white/green top. So everyone was teasing me that I looked Irish. And because I wasn't drinking my usual beverage (and the fact I foolishly forgot to eat when I got back from work) I got a little more lubricated than usual.

According to Debbie who was there this meant that I just was really chatty compared to usual. Two other people there had been at a team building session which meant they were really pissed and therefore really not chatty. So I came out of the whole thing in a good light. And we came third so we got a load of booze.

The only bad thing was Debbie was teasing me about a really gorgeous mate of hers called Sophie who was at the quiz. I thought she was good looking, but not my kind of girl.

Some news just in... When I was looking at a flat with Emma, my current flatmate we bumped into one of her friends on the way back. A while later I was saying that she was really cute, but Emma said she didn't think she was my type. Just now Emma said "Oh, I've got some good/bad news. You know that girl Freya you thought was cute? She thought you were really cute too. And now she's gone to university." My timing is really bad.

Ah well. At least I know I'm cute. From four different people now.

Redheads

Why are redheads so cute? I dunno but here is my list of cute redheads :

• Enie van de Meiklokjes - a really cute German girl on TV
• Amber Baretto - a cute girl from the crappy sitcom Hang Time
• Jennifer Garner - I know she's not a proper redhead, but that first episode of Alias was really good
• Isla Fisher - used to be in Home & Away I had a massive crush on her
• Heine - is in a band called Bitch Alert I saw them in York. Very nice
• Nicky - strictly speaking she has pink hair but my workmates know her and say I would like her so I guess she should be included on this
• Franke Potente - the star of Run Lola Run
• Linzi - the most gorgeous, sexiest redhead ever!

This is the spot on my finger. It was most annoying

Bad news for me

But good news for all you ladies! Just found out Jenny already has a boyfriend. Ah well, you shouldn't let something like this set you back. I'm still gonna go out on Monday, who knows there may be someone there who takes my fancy. Still, bummer eh?

A spot of bother

I've got a spot on the end of my finger. It's really annoying and whenever I touch my finger (which is often as it's my middle finger on right hand) it hurts. Hopefully it will disappear soon. I'm gonna try and get a picture soon just to annoy everyone who looks at the page.

I thought Jenny was supposed to be back on Saturday, so I called in the sandwich shop but she wasn't there. I did see on the calendar there that she was supposed to be working then. I guess she must have been on a break. By Monday I decided I should do something about the situation so I gave her a call. She was away so I left a message on her voicemail saying that I hoped she had a good holiday and would she want to go for a drink on Wednesday? She texted back saying she couldn't on Wednesday 'cos she's filming (don't know what that means - hope I get to find out) but would I want to go for a drink on Monday for her friends birthday. Obviously I said yes.

And my friend Cathy in California is getting worried about a wedding she has to go to. Let me say: Cathy you are really hot and cute and I'm sure you'd look good in that bridesmaid dress - even if you're not!

We all live in a headphone world

The headphones on my mp3 player (no iPod for me - I'm not cool enough for that) have finally given up the ghost. As usually happens with headphones one 'bud' (I think that's the technical term for them) kept cutting out so for it to work I had to keep putting a finger in my ear in the style of Ron Burgundy - Anchorman. God I love Will Ferrell. And not in a macho blokey sort of a way - in a french kissing sort of a way*. And I want to see Dodgeball too.

Anyway, the headphones. I decided to spend a fortune on them so I went to the coolest hi-fi store (£10,000 speakers? Well worth it I'm sure you'd agree) and bought some Sennheiser Noise Reducing Headphones. For ninety quid.

Now I know what you're saying "But Ben, ninety quid for some headphones? Isn't that a little too much to spend, considering you might be moving into a new more expensive flat and have just bought a reasonably expensive laptop?" Well I say, tch money eh? I'm going to be broke this month, but I have full faith that I will be able to pay off my Visa bill this month and still have enough money for the antics and scrapes that a bounder like me gets involved with. Also, these headphones are amazing. They have this little box that they connect to and when you turn it on it cuts out most of the noise in the background. This became most useful when I was on the train today and was able to silence the 'grrrrrrrrrrrr-clunkety-clunkety-grrrrrrrrrrRRRRRRRRrrrrrr-clunk-clunkety-clunk-ono-ono-onomatopea-clunk' of the train's engine at once. A wise investment. ("I agree" - Martha Stewart)

Today I've been in String Of Beads ("Leeds" - Cockney Ed) stuck in a room all day learning about Strategic and Project Management. Needless to say I spent most of it trying to stay awake. And mostly failing. Oh! A spider's just crawled up to me - to set the image I'm writing this in the hall so I'm not annoying my flatmates, currently the jukebox is playing a song by Diane Cluck called Monte Carlo, I've not heard it before so I'll let you know how it goes. It peeked around the corner, saw me and then shiftily went back. It probably wanted to use the phone.

Currently I've been watching classy American shows every single day. The Sopranos, Six Feet Under, Line Of Fire and Nip/Tuck all must pass judgement under my gaze. However The OC's started again so now I can spend all my time admiring how cool Seth is. And believe me he is cool.

Michelle at work had a 21st birthday party a while back. Unfortunately due to study (at Leeds) I wasn't able to make it. I understand it was rather special. To celebrate her new-found maturity she had a bouncy castle. According to Debbie (also from work) there was a girl called Nicky who she thought I would be good with. Apparently she's really nice, is a art student (I love art students - it's the scatty dress sense) and she has red/pink hair. I'm sold.

Bye bye folks!

* This is me being ironic.
Oh and D Cluck was good. Can be found on the Antifolk Vol 1 CD

Slow news day

So what have I got to report today? A big fat lonely zero. Done nothing. Actually that's a bit of a lie, got very drunk on the booze cruise. I drank WKD Blues (a dodgy alcopop) for the two hour journey down the river Ouse which had the effect of me forgetting how I actually got home (I suspect it was me staggering home). Luckily I didn't take my camera so none of this dodginess has been recorded.

Over the bank holiday weekend I did absolutely nothing. Nearly went to the shops once but I couldn't be arsed. That was my weekend. I do have to say that this is a good website - http://www.ferryhalim.com/orisinal/.

Oh and I watched Wild Zero and Christie Malry's Own Double Entry. Both were excellent. Wild Zero was a totally bizarre Japanese Zombie movie which starred a rock ("And" - Ed) roll band called Guitar Wolf. I laughed twice at the weirdness of it. Christie Malry is about a slightly austistic kid who takes the world of accounting to a violent conclusion. All CIMA students should view it.

Must go Home And Away's on now. Hope Tasha's in this episode.