Let's all meet up in the year 2000...

...won't it be strange when we're all fully grown

It's my review of the Year 2006!

Album of the year:
Stefy - The Orange Album
Bit of a hit to my indie styling here, but Stefy have produced a great pop album that cheered me up no end whenever I listened to it. The ballads are bearable, which for a pop album is a thumb up from me. Having sexy groaning on Hey Schoolboy also helps too.


Also rans: J Lewis, Pipettes
As with Stefy the Pipettes have produced an adult pop album, I enjoyed dancing to Pull Shapes whilst doing the washing up. I was really grooving to it. J Lewis & The Watson twins made a country album that was great. No surprises that all my favourite albums had female singers.

Film of the year:
Little Miss Sunshine
Funny, funny film. The ending is a dance scene which is hilarious but also sweet. Made me feel good. Watching this got me into the American Office (due to Steve Carell starring in both) so that's another plus point.

Also ran: The Squid & the Whale
This is the only other film I can even remember seeing at the cinema in 2006. Pretty good, but I still preferred Steve Zizzou (sic?).

Game of the year:
UEFA Champions League (GC)
A game that was released way before 2006, but the most fun I've had at a TV screen with a joypad in my hands. Pretty basic football game, but made better by the presentation. Made me actually feel as though I was the manager. Plus points for having referees that made wrong decisions & including handballs.

Also rans: Psychonauts (Xbox), Phoenix Wright (DS)
Psychonauts should really have been an adventure game rather than a platformer. But the plot and attention to detail in this shone through in the end. Still haven't completed it though. Phoenix Wright was an adventure game and was much better for it. The only problem is that the last episode shows what all of the episodes should have been like. As a reimagining of the graphic adventure though - it succeeds.

Magazine of the year:
Hotdog
Although to be honest all magazines I've bought in 2006 have disappointed me in the end. Hotdog has disappointed me least. Apart from the rubbish subscription distributors - the current issue has been in the shops for two weeks and I still haven't seen it.

Also rans:
NGamer had a great first few issues, but is now going downhill. PC Gamer is alright but I'm never going to get that into PC gaming. Retrogamer is purely good from a nostaglia perspective - if you're looking for anything interesting to read look elsewhere. 2006 was the year I woke up to the fact that men's magazines are useless - the one remaining class act (Arena) was shown to be very superficial and had absolutely nothing of interest in. SFX is doing ok, but doesn't really make me feel included in it. This may be due to the fact I only have a passing interest in Science Fiction.


TV show of the year:
Veronica Mars
Buffy but as a detective show. That's pretty much the best recommendation I can give it.

Also ran: How I met Your Mother
Freaks and Geeks but if it were more of a sitcom. I'm a bit worried that getting Ted & Robin together might Moonlight the show, but hopefully they should be splitting up soon.


Gig of the Year:
Bic Runga @ Fibbers
Bic's backing band was away so we pretty much had an unplugged session. Great voice & great music. Shame I forgot to go and book the tickets for when she returned.

Also rans: J Lewis @ Manchester, Tilly and The Wall @ Fibbers
J Lewis & The Watson Twins sounded sublime. Tilly rocked as much as you can with a tap dancer instead of a drummer. I saw a few of them hanging around before hand and as usual didn't speak to them.

Plans for 2007:
Go to Japan have a great time
This one should be easy (once Halifax let me take money out of my ISA)

Lighten up a bit
I need to be a bit cheerier and not let work affect me so much.

Perhaps join a gym
I think I'd not feel so crap if I did a few exercises every now and then.

Gadget of the year:
G6 U link
Allows me to try before I buy on DS and Gameboy games. Next on my to buy list: Starfox DS - nothing like the original, but still great fun.

That's no way to tell a lie...

...sha la la, sha la la

I've had one beer and already I'm falling asleep.

Perhaps it's time to give up the booze.

Separated by motorways...

...the A14 and the A1 (so long!)

I suppose my Feast was slightly negative, as people have pointed out in comments. There's been lots of good things that have happened to me in 2006. Moving in with the Schatz is probably the best decision I've ever made. I know finally feel that I'm finally in a home for the first time since I left my parents house.

The problem is that I'm going into 2007 unsure that I'll have a job by August. It doesn't help when I come back from Germany to a letter saying I won't even be interviewed for one of the internal jobs I went for. Boo. Positive thinking will get me through this. And winning the lottery*.

***FREYA SPOILER - DON'T READ THIS PLEASE SCHATZ!***

My friend Cathy has told me a few things which are making me very nervous about Japan. Not the country itself, but what I'm planning on saying to Freya there. Ladies, do diamonds matter? Is there a way of making an proposal ethical? Any advice is always welcome.

* Although by mentioning the lottery I'm sure that weird geordie lottery syndicate guy will comment again. Boo.

I wish I was in Dixie...

...away, away

Friday Feast No. 3

Appetizer
How do you usually celebrate on New Year's Eve?
I hate celebrating New Years Eve. When I was growing up I tried to be babysitting on New Years Eve. Nowadays I hate New Years Eve as if you go out in town everywhere charges a fortune to get in, is totally packed and has a rubbish atmosphere. I think this year we're staying in and having some Champagne. Much better.

Soup
Name one thing unexpected that happened to you in 2006.
Getting the sack(ish). I reckon it should be sorted out soon though. In A Good Way too.

Salad
Where was your favorite place that you visited in 2006?
Didn't really go anywhere this year. I'd say going to Hamburg to see the football world cup was the best fun I've had away from home.

Main Course
What resolution is your top priority for 2007?
Get fit (again).

Dessert
Using just three words, describe 2006.
Tense, nervous headaches.

Glory, Glory, Hallelujah...

...and His truth goes marching on

Damn. Was going to write my first ever Thurday Thirteen about my Christmas Presents but including my flickr pics was really hard to do. So I'll leave it until next week.

I'm so tired. And for once it's not due to being overworked or staying up too late. For some reason I just couldn't get a good nights sleep when we stayed at my parents. Freya was totally the opposite - usually she's up by eight on days off - this week she was up after ten every day. Do I have any explanations for this change of events?

Yes.

Freya's explanation is quite simple. In Germany you get big shutters that roll down before you go to sleep. Freya is used to being woken up by the Sun. If you remove the Sun from the equation she will lie in for longer.

My explanation is also quite easy (apart from the bizarre stinker of a headache I had on Christmas morning) the bed was too hard for me to drift off to sleep.

So how come in my first night back in York in my nice comfy bed I couldn't get to sleep and was chatting to people online? Lord knows.

Oh and I had a comment posted today on my very first post which I wrote two and a half years ago. Ben C, if you get this far, I didn't get that girl but I got an even better girl. Just like in Gregory's Girl.

And I've seen, some younger people happier as can be...

...but not especially happier than me

So we've got to Germany in one piece but I still feel particularly ill. However a few early nights and some playing of Zelda on the GBA should sort me out.

Coming back to Germany you see how some things in England are done so badly. Take Motorway Service Stations. In England they're seen as a chance to rip off the people who go there for a quick meal by charging five quid for something that you wouldn't pay ten pence for if you weren't starving. And they seem to make it into a shopping mall by offering three fast food restaurants, one cafe and a newsagent/supermarket.

In Germany you get this: One restaurant which although not amazing is cheap and the food isn't totally covered in grease and a mini supermarket where you can buy basic fodstuffs. And to be honest that's all you need. Germany 1 - 0 England.

I missed the Friday Freast yesterday (was flying over when the reminder e-mail got sent out), but I'll answer it now if that's ok:

Appetizer
What is one of your Christmas traditions?
It was to wake up really early like a six-ish. Even when Mum told me we wouldn't be going downstairs until Nine O'Clock. I just got so excited. This was when I was twenty years old by the way. I guess it stopped when I realised that if I drank myself to sleep I could also have the lie in. Not really got too many traditions now, other than having to have willy sausages (everyone else calls them pigs in blankets, but willy sausages is our family name for them) for our Christmas meal.

Soup
Who is the easiest person on your list to buy presents for?
Dad. Get him a sports related autobiography and you should be ok.

Salad
What is your favorite Christmas scent?
Pine trees. Although the smells of Christmas decorations comes close. That almost plasticy scent you get from them just smells of Christmas.

Main Course
If you could give a fellow blogger a Christmas gift, who would it be and what would you give them?
Probably momopeche could do with a madarin dictionary so that she could think of more way to insult queue jumpers.

Dessert
What's something on your Christmas wish list that you need (not just want)?
Absolutely nothing. I am a material girl. Or boy.

Oh and Jack Templeton who wanted the Gamesmaster vids, could you send me the list again of the episodes you need? I left my list in England. Whoops.

Why don't you fool me, feed me...

...say you need me?

One thing you don't want to do in the morning with a hangover. Accidentally turn on the cold water rather than the hot water for your shower and then step under it without testing it first.

Brrrrrrrrrrr.

Everything we do...

DSC09026
Originally uploaded by uppi17.

...is driven by you

I really shouldn't drink. Not because it ends up in pictures like this one, but because I got so tired that I was in bed by 11pm. And I'd have preferred to have stayed out much longer.

There's also the fact that I've never been good the morning after the night before. Eurgh. My head is terrible. And my tummy too. I could have just drunk water and still done a stupid picture like this because I don't really have that much holding me back from doing stupid stuff like this.

But if I stop drinking I should (in theory) be able to stay out longer, have better quality sleep and not wake up feeling like someone has shat in my cereal.

In good news I have finished work for the year. Hurrah!

C S S...

...sucks

My first ever Friday Feast:

Appetizer
What was your very first job with a paycheck?

Working behind the counter of the local Naafi/corner shop. Have absolutely nothing of interest to say about it. Except once I put frozen fridge in the fridge section. Felt a bit stupid about that, but both sections looked the same!

Soup
Did you ever lose something really important to you?

I've lost things I'd still like to have around. But thinking about it, if I wanted them so much I'd have made more of an effort to keep them.

I'm annoyed that I got rid of my Transformers comics though. Particularly as now I'm buying them for even more money as graphic novels. Bah.

Salad
What is the best Christmas present you ever received?

My favourite ever EVER present was probably my Spectrum computer. Just opening it I think I was dead excited. It was the future in my living room! Now it's stuck in my loft without a TV to plug into. How sad.

Main Course
Tell about a favorite "hang out" place for you and your friends when you were in high school.

It was the Chip Shop about ten minutes away. The best bit was that it had a little arcade section with Point Blank and some others. It also had some pinball machines and somehow I became excellent at playing The Shadow. It had a little section at the top called the Battlefield. I could get the ball up there well easily and score loads of points. I was always on the high score and always got a free game. I'm such a cheapskate.

Dessert
Name something that always brings a smile to your face.

Vic and Bob's Masterchef sketch.

I killed the zeitgeist...

...ground it into dust

I hate, Hate, HATE having to complete application forms. Particularly when it's for people who I know and who know me. What's the point?

And while I'm writing this blog I should be finishing my application form and revising for my Japanese exam tomorrow. Darn it.

All we want...

...is to be happy

Oh dear:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/international/story/
0,,1968962,00.html

Someone bought a random lucky-dip ticket instead of the usual numbers for their lottery syndicate. Then the usual numbers came up. Whoops. I don't like how they're trying to get a bit of the jackpot though. Definitely bad losership there.

I did something just as bad today*. As I've moaned about far too often on this blog I'm trying to sort out another job before I leave at some random time next year. Luckily there's an internal job that looks quite good. So I rang on Monday to talk to the person who would be interviewing for the role. He was busy, but said he could meet me at 4pm on Tuesday.

At 4.20pm I got a call. It was the interviewer. I'd forgotten about the meeting and he didn't sound too happy. What's worse is that he came to our building to meet me. Whoops.

He has agreed to meet me tomorrow though, but I have to go over to meet him. I think a great amount of humble pie will need to be eaten there.

* OK, so not as bad in terms of money, but perhaps in terms of embarrassment.

One dark day...

...the trees began a trumpet sound

I really should learn to listen to people properly. Too many times I find myself drifting off during conversations and having to drag myself back to what the person was talking about. I reckon it's worst when Freya is telling me to do something and I totally ignore what she said, then she gets angry at me. And for good reason too.

It's terrible that I can't just sit down and talk to her. I have to have something in the background to distract me. The TV, radio, mp3 player, the internet anything in the background is needed - it's what I grew up with. Freya on the other hand is used to a quiet house. Now that unnerves me.

Even now as I'm writing this blog I have mp3's on in the background. I was one of those people that did homework on with music in the background and even though it distracted me I preferred it that way.

The thing is though when I'm listening to podcasts I have to purely listen to it, as soon as I do anything else my mind wanders and by the time I realise five minutes have gone and 1up yours is chatting about a totally different game. So I give it my full attention.

I need to treat Freya as a podcast. If you see what I mean.

I was a teenage Jesus...

...I bought into the dream

It's been so nice not having to have to blog every day. I mean I enjoyed doing it, but some days I was really having to stretch to think of something to say. And in the end it wasn't really that interesting anyway. Amazon are sending me a book about blogging and how to do it better* so hopefully January should be a lot more interesting for everyone.

Today was the day that I was going to go to Tescos and buy a Wii at midnight. So how is it? I wouldn't know as I decided not to buy one. The day before they went on sale.

I think it was when Freya found out how much I'd saved towards our trip to Japan (£300) when we needed at least £1,200 each. And as we're planning to go in May that's a lot to save in not a lot of time.

My lovefilm.com subscription has now been cancelled. No more magazines bought that I won't read (got enough subscriptions already & two Neal Stephenson books to read). No paying subscriptions of World Of Warcrafty (also I wouldn't as it's rubbish - which I'll explain in a later blog) No buying of things I don't need need. Generally it's save, save always save for me at the moment (I agree - Uncle Alvin Hall).

Because I want this holiday to be amazing.

Not just a nice two weeks away from work. I want to have a great time. Possibly because I'm planning on doing something there that I can't describe as if Freya reads this it would spoil it. Momopeche has something on her page that relates to it though.

Plus we haven't been away this year other than two nights in Manchester so a holiday without any worries, spending all my time with my girlf, enjoying another culture and pronouncing my Japanese words all wrong.

That sounds better than having a Wii now doesn't it?

Well I think so.

* After I paid for it, natch. They're not that nice.

Abra-abracadabra...

...I wanna reach out and grab ya

Although I've said for the past week that I really want a Wii (out this Friday in the UK), I'm now having second thoughts. See, Freya & I are saving to go to Japan in May. Well I'm saving as Freya already has the money she needs. I need to have about £1,500 saved before we book the flights & hotels. Current total: £300. I need to save £250 per month. Does a Wii fit into that total?

I guess I'll be getting some money for Christmas and my Birthday (17th Feb) so that will help. I think I can afford the Wii but for the next few months I'm going to have to stop buying magazines that I don't need, perhaps put a freeze on Lovefilm for a few months (I've had the same DVDs on rent for about three months) and don't go out at all (actually I'm quite good at this one).

And I'll just buy the Wii. Don't need the new Zelda as I still haven't finished Wind Waker yet. Or Champs League. Or around seven Xbox games. And the GameCube will go to be part exchanged even if I only get two quid for it.

We're on the road to nowhere...

...come on inside

I realise it was a bit cheap of me to do a best of for the end of NaBloPoMo, but I thought it was best to see what I'd learned over the past month.

Which as expected was not a lot.

It's coming up to our second anniversary (on the fourth). We're going to Leeds on Sunday to go Christmas shopping and I think I'm going to try and find something special for Freya. Haven't a clue what it is though. I'm such a great boyfriend.

We were strolling along...

...on Moonlight Bay

So that's it. One month in my life. God it's boring isn't it? What did I learn over the past month?

• I have no desire to get fit even though my body feels worse than the beginning of November
• Learning a language is good, even if you just use it to insult someone who cut in front of you
• I'd prefer to know if I've got or not got a job about a week after the interview, not still waiting for an answer two weeks afterwards
• People do actually read this blog, or rather they read it because of NaBloPoMo
• Although by mentioning Gamesmaster I may have helped someone with a quest he's had for about ten years
• People only bid on ebay auctions in the last 24 hours
• The word snark is something I'll never use (at least not in context anyway)
• I really want a Wii. So much so that I'm going to Tescos at midnight on the off chance that they have one. I rang them up & they didn't confirm or say anything of use really.
• Thinking of thirteen things to blog about on one day along with everyday posts requires Superhuman effort
• I might try blogging everyday from now on
• World of Warcraft free trial take ages to download the update (will report on MMO's over the weekend)
• Hostingplex are a shower of dunces
• Beta blogger is annoying if you have comments and they don't migrate properly
• Freya gets very jealous of cute girls that I like - even if I've never met them (and never will)
• My tummy does not like it if I eat chilis
• I never finished my story about possibly meeting Amber Benson (I didn't by the way but did meet Jasmine Hyde who is very cute as well)
• I am good at bowling, I just need to practise more
• Arena is very rubbish
• My band will have the best name ever

Cheerio!

Gwenno, Becki, Rose...

1,2,3 let's go!

Dan Aykroyd is making wine.

Is this part of the Sideways effect? Apparently Sideways made wine culture cool again. It's resulted in a bizarre Top Gear meets Food And Drink BBC2 show which is pretty much a copy of Sideways but with far more insults. And now it's caused Dan Aykroyd to invest in Ontario wines.

The thing is Sideways was enjoyable, but it's still not made me want to drink wine. Wine just totally annoys my taste buds. I always think wine should taste like blackcurrant juice as it looks like blackcurrant juice. I know that's not the case, but my tastebuds are expecting blackcurrant juice and they're disappointed with the slightly dry taste that wine gives me.

Similarly I don't like coffee, tea or any hot drink. But I will drink Coke which apparently you could clean your toilet with. My taste buds are weird. They allowed me to eat that dodgy sandwich today that caused me to go to the toilet for a long time.

Anyway, Ontario wines? I think they need more than one million dollars to be invested in them to make them cool. Particularly now Dan Aykroyd invests in them.

Although Dan Aykroyd may be becoming cool again now there's a band (sort of) named after him. Behold:

Dananananaykroyd

Possibly the best name ever for a band, apart from my band which will be called Benji Bear and the Modern Haircuts.

She says there's ants in the carpet...

...dirty little monsters

According to an article in the Guardian today (which I can't find in the Guardian but at ABC news) sitting up straight is bad for you, but so is lying down. Apparently the best thing to do at work to prevent back ache is to sit at 135 degrees - making your back the hypotenuse in the office chair right-angled-triangle.

Now I tried sitting like this today and it didn't work. In fact I felt my back more than ever before, usually I sit at around 175 degrees (slightly slouching yes, but I don't care about work at the moment so my stance needs to reflect this) and my back is never noticed by me.

My revolutionary method of preventing back ache is - if something hurts don't do it anymore. But try to sit straight if at all possible.

Oh and ABCnews? Don't illustrate a feature on how to sit properly by having someone crane their neck up towards the ceiling and by someone sitting on the side of their chair with their arms resting on the back:



Idiots.

I can't say I was surprised...

...I heard some drink was involved

I hate PC's. For ages Nokia Lifeblog has decided not to work on the PC. All of a sudden it's working again. Except now the virus checker doesn't want to update. Huh? How did that happen?

So now I'll get really annoyed by this & spend half the night trying to get the virus checker up & running again. Not a good time to spend my evenings. Particularly as I really need to catch up on my sleep. I nearly passed out at 5pm because I was tired/hungry. Of course I've done no exercise so I doubt that'll help... To think that over the course of NaBloPoMo I was meant to be doing some exercises and kick myself into gear.

Hopefully if I get the job at the rival company I'll join the gym there and become healthy. Or at least healthier.

Cheerio.

Your future will destroy itself...

...Montana/Autumn/78

Although it might help if I actually include the underscore in the e-mail when I try sending it off.

Let's see if it works now.

Teach him stuff...

...although he's looking rough

And after saying blogger beta hasn't appeared to change anything I've found out that almost all the comments that people have made over the course over NaBloPoMo have been turned to anonymous. Doing detective work I think I've uncovered the blog addresses for the people who did this, but let me know if I mucked it up.

One thing I did notice from digging around blogger whilst trying to get this fixed is that I can actually blog via e-mail. So all the time I was bored at work thinking of stuff to do I could actually be composing a blog saying how bored I was at work. So this has been composed via e-mail in a trial attempt before I do a proper blog tomorrow.

Yesterday I actually had to do some proper man work. Well, ok, it was just replacing a fluorescent tube in the kitchen (because it kept flicking on and off) but this is one of the few areas of fixing stuff that I actually know anything about. See I was a part-time caretaker at my old school where my Dad was a teacher. Pretty much all my job involved was being the butt of the main caretaker's (Nobby Noble) jokes and helping him out with the crappy jobs he didn't want to do.

So I spent my break from Uni doing weed killing (even though the brand of weed killer we were using was (I think) illegal in Germany), emptying the bins out, getting the seats out for lunchtime in the dining hall and fixing the lights. That's how I know that fluorescent lights have a starter as well as the tube.

Of course something Freya & I mucked up on was measuring the tube. We did it in centimetres and then when we got to the hardware shop in town we found out they didn't say on the tube how long they were (and the only measurements to hand were in feet). Very frustrating. Particularly as everyone in Yorkshire appeared to be in town yesterday so the place was rammed. I hate when places are busy. I think I have a kind of claustraphobia but it heightens more when I can't walk or move anywhere because there are too many people. Freya feels the same way so she was getting rather grumpy as well.

Luckily we managed to get away and we felt much better after getting a sandwich. But we only had a starter for the light and trying that actually didn't help - the tube had gone.

I had to go back into town to find a tube. Perhaps asking for help. But then I called into a shop on the way into town on the off chance that they had one. And they did. We got stressed out in town for absolutely no reason. Gach.

EDIT: Just tried sending this via e-mail and it didn't actually work. CURSE YOU BLOGGER BETA!

I get up...

...and nothing keeps me down

Except for the fact that I stayed up until 3.30am this morning watching the Ashes on Sky. So I think I'll be spending a lot of tomorrow in bed. In fact I was half asleep by seven tonight so I think it shouldn't be too hard to drop off.

I've been tired all week so watching the Ashes was a very foolish thing to do. So was drinking three Wobblies* during the match so I woke up feeling like someone shat in my cereal.

So my new rule is to go to bed at exactly the same time that Freya does. Hopefully that should reduce my tiredness somewhat. Also I should really start doing some sort of exercise. I remember coming home drunk two weeks ago and doing a bizarre hopskotch move for a long stretch of pavement and feeling quite knackered after it. If I feel fitter then I'll probably feel less tired.

Let's see.

Oh and I've moved to the new blogger thing. This means I can add tags to posts (prediction: 'tired' will be the most popular tag) but nothing else looks different. Well not at first glance anyway.

* Wobblies = Warsteiner - the Queen of beers apparently

And Schmidt...

...and Schmidt and Schmidt!

So my original blog has gone by the wayside as I only have twenty minutes now to write this.

The original plan was to write about my top ten crushes (excluding Freya as she is obviously the highest).

Anyway the picture to the right has my top crush. The girl from the Rakes Work, Work Work (pub, club, sleep) video.

It's hard to know why I fancy her so much. It could be the slight red tint to her hair. It could be the fact that over the course of the video she flirt with all of The Rakes* in someway, so I must be able to have a chance with her.

Mostly it's because when she flirts with the drummer (the scene showing here) she wiggles her hips in a nice way and licks her lips. I love it when a girl licks her lips.

* I don't know their names but I have named (from left to right) drummer: Steve, guitarist: Nigel, singer: Paul, bassist: Kingston (real name: Simon).

My motto's always been...

...when it's right it's right

Except for those times where you're told that you're currently the strongest candidate for a role, but that the company will not be making a decision until they interview some people on the 1st. Which means you won't have a decision about the role for three weeks after your interview.

And they want me to work for them after they treat me like that? (Oh yeah the paragraph above was all about me. Sorry if you are in a similar situation and thought I could help out)

You're as cold as ice...

...and willing to sacrifice

Things not to do in Winter:

Don't leave your shoes right by the front door as this results in you walking around in what feels to be blocks of ice in the morning.

Brrr.

We will...

...We will rock you

I've now decided that I do want a Nintendo Wii. But I'm so slow in deciding this that now everyone has pre-ordered. Therefore the only way I can think of getting one is to show up at Tesco's just before midnight on Friday night and hope they have some available. That'll be fun.

I cuss my Mother...

...and I cuss my Dad

I was in a meeting with someone high up today. He swore. I was a bit shocked. I've never really liked to swear much myself. Am I that much of a prude?

Cue swearing answer.

Find me, find me...

...wine me and dine me

Well I've done one of the things on the list from yesterday. Unfortunately for you lot it wasn't the 'think of something more interesting to blog about' bit. I'll write with my opinions about web 2.0 though.

Web 2.0 is stuff that's ever so slightly more interactive than websites were previously. So you can create your own info and save it on the web. Here are the 2.0ers that I use:

• Hiveminder - a site where you can create to-do lists. So I no longer have to put them on here. (Hurrah! - the readers)
• Flickr - you can add pics on here & tag them so I could easily find all the pics of Freya I've ever taken.
• Youtube - if no-one's ever heard of this then I'll be really surprised. I've only added the one video on. It's the amazing Scoffers Shuffle.
• Wikipedia - this is a bit shit actually.
• Last.fm - I really like this one. It takes all the music you listen to on itunes and Windows Media Player and then works out what music you should like. It also makes charts of what you listen to - like the one you can see to the right here.
• Myspace - I know, I know, I shouldn't use this. It's rubbish, unwieldy and I know no-one to put on there. But I get to keep up to speed with the bands I like and that's mostly what I use it for. See my friends on there if you don't believe me.
• Delicious - a way of keeping track of your favourite websites when you're not near your PC. I really like this one. See if your blog is in my favourites!*

And that's all about the future of the web. Be seeing you...

* Sorry about the exclamation mark, I felt I had to cheer up the blog somehow.

It's you and me on the run...

...Second to none

Sorry I didn't have time to blog yesterday, but I told someone else that he could blog in my absence tomorrow. Hope he did a good job, haven't checked on it yet.

As usual for the weekend I'm really tired. Hopefully I'll feel better tomorrow. Because I have the following things to do:

• Start to sell my Game Gear & Gameboy Color on ebay along with some CSI DVDs
• Make a start on my Japanese diary
• Make a start on my accounting diary
• Make a start on reading a book
• Make a start on keeping fit
• Start on making a start
• Think of something that's more interesting than a list to blog about

If I can do just one of these things I'll be a happy man. And probably very tired as well.

Cheerio!

Let's dance...

...put on your Red Shoes and dance the blues

Wozza wozza, David Bowie here. You may remember me from such films as Labyrinth, Goodbye Mr. Lawrence and Zoolandererererer. I also star in The Prestige with Scarlett Johannson who is scantily-clad as per usual.

However I don't want to talk about that. I want to talk about my latest music project.

Unfortunately it's not another project with Queen. Or a sequel to Omnicron: The Nomad Soul. No it's far worse than that. I've allowed my music to be included in Elite Beat Agents. For those of you who know Elite Beat Agents is the English translation of Osu! Tatakae! Ouendan the cheerleading game on the DS where you tap the screen in time to the music. For those of you who don't know it's the sequel to Elite where you have to conquer or 'beat' CIA Agents who play the game online.

So I've allowed Let's Dance (the last semi-popular song I released) to be used in the game. But I'm regretting it now. See they've not really used it in the right way. I'd have thought Let's Dance would best fit someone perhaps being shy and needing music to give them the confidence to get the girrrrrl.

Instead they've used the song as the backdrop for a old guy who's been kicked out by his trophy wife for running out of money. As the song goes on he gets his money back. Now, wasn't my video for Let's Dance all about how money corrupts and the aborigine girl in the Red Shoes getting all upset by the city? So my original concept for the song has been totally messed up. And the singer they got in to replace me doesn't even say Wozza Wozza.

It's not just my song either. YMCA? The song about men joining together and having a good time? It turns into a song about a sea Captain being mutinied on by his crew who cheers himself up by diving for treasure. Surely In The Navy would have been better?

Oh it's enough to make you stick a lollipop in your eye.

Cheerio & stay wozza!
David Bowie

Make up is staining the pillow...

...I move close, closer still

As has been standard throughout this week I am tired, bored, overworked and unable to blog in any detail. I've been sniffling too which hold promise of a weekend spent in bed feeling bad for myself.

Didn't go to Japanese lessons today as I was too busy frying my brain over 2007's budgets. What fun.

I have been told that I'm currently the strongest candidate for the role I was interviewed for so hopefully they won't find anyone better.

Bed now.

But that's what made me want...

...the Gold Medal

Nothing of interest to report really (no change there). Ah well. Time to relax and watch the world go by. Have a day off reader, you deserved it.

One thing I forgot to mention about the interview was I met a girl from HR (Lisa I think) who was really gorgeous, but I was put off by her voice. It was a weak voice that you had to strain yourself to hear. Oh and she read 'patently' as 'potentially'. I think I'd do best to stick with Freya.

Oh no, oh no...

...you've got it all wrong

Apart from that I was rubbish at the presentation bit. Stumbled over my words, froze, stuttered. Hurrah! I was well and truly crap.

Did well at everything else though. Except I might not have shaded in the boxes correctly for the multiple choice bit. I'd hate it if I didn't get the job because of that.

As usual for interviews I woke up feeling really nervous. On the train to Leeds I saw a little insect had somehow got into our carriage. I thought "that insect could be squashed by me* but this interview won't crush me". That made me feel better. Until the presentation anyway.

The other that was even slightly bloggable about my day was at Leeds station they were giving away free Cadbury's chocolate bars. Very nice. The only thing was they were asking what was your favourite flavour. Now do chocolate bars actually come in flavours? I got the impression that a flavour was a taste that was like something - so crisps can have a bacon flavour despite not having bacon in. But with chocolate bars like mint chocolate they have big chunks of mint in, same with the caramel ones. Maybe I was overanalysing. That's usual.

Oh and I had a comment! Amazing. Wonders will never cease.

* I didn't of course

I knew a girl and her name was Judy...

...she used to do things I thought were rudie

It's been confirmed. I'm not good enough to keep my job, but good enough to stay around long enough to train an offshorer in my job. Meh. What I expected really. I know this blog has been really personal over the NaBlo period, but hey it's not everyday you get told your job is going.

Ah well. I'm sure it should work out in the end. Been doing lots of work this evening on my competencies. This is because in my interview they will be saying stuff like "Give me an example where you had to say no to something" and then I'll have to spout bollocks about how I said no to something. Then elaborate on it. That's the bit where I'll fail.

Except I'll fail on the group discussion bit. We get given a problem and then one of the group must do a presentation on it. Now I'm rubbish at interviews because it's with people I've never met before, combine people I don't know with people who want to appear better than me and I'm liable to fall apart. All I'm going to do is lean forward (so I appear interested), talk positively and repeat what people say but adding little bits of info.

If I fail because of the excel test or the numeracy/verbal reasoning I'm going to be well upset as they've the only things I expect to do ok in.

Cheerio!

Think I'm just too white and nerdy...

before
Originally uploaded by uppi17.

...Look at me I'm white and nerdy

For some reason I hadn't shaved for about a week. This resulted in rather a natty beard. But I've shaved it off due to the interview. I also had my hair cut.

So I took some before and after pics. Unfortunately the 'after' pic I was pulling a funny face and it looks worse than the before pic. Ah well. Looks aren't everything right? (I agree - John Merrick)

Got to sleep at about 2am yesterday as my tummy was really bad. Then I woke up at 12.30 this morning/afternoon and spent the whole day feeling rough as well. I think this might be nerves about tomorrow where I will find out if I still have a job or not. 11am is the time where I'll find this out. Wish me luck.

Oh and that is a Willow from Buffy figure behind me. I am that sad.

Let's make love...

...and listen to Death From Above

Hmmm. Not really got much to say even though lots has happened. I've realised that I'm never that topical about what I write about, but I think that's more to do with the fact that I steer clear of news as much as possible.

Got another interview on Tuesday with the same Sinister Mega Global Corporation that wouldn't hire me last time. This time I've been doing some practising so hopefully I'll actually do well this time around. The only problem is that we have to do a group discussion, these kind of things always cause problems for me. Should I go ahead and take control of the meeting (even though I'm never usually like that) or should I just chip in now and then? I think the latter is that is more like me.

Just about recovered from Thursday night. Part of why I felt so bad was the drink, but I had hardly any sleep since Monday and I think it caught up with me. Sleep is good.

In fact I think I'll go to sleep now. Sounds good to me.

Good night.

Don't Drink, Don't Smoke...

...what do you do?

Eurgh. Never again.

I honestly have no idea why I drink when I know I will feel like rubbish in the morning. I think I'll only drink when I definitely don't have anything important to do in the next day.

Just say no kids.

No no no no more...

...alcohol!

So I've been out for my boss' leaving do. Which is stupid as he is great and should not have been sacked by our SMGC. But there you go it's been done so what can you do about it.

Anyway, I'm drunk so this blog will be the most honest I've ever blogged. Or the most rubbish, either way I will not be deleting anything I've written. Even the spelling mistakes like delteing. Damn still spelt it wrong./

So I've twenty mintues to write stuff up.

I lost £2.90 on vowling to Melson. That shoudl say bowling to Melson and MelsoM not Melson. But being a TRUE accountant I hesdged my bets and actually won £3 from other people on my team so I won ten pence. And in the third game I wgot 174. Which is a really high score for myself. I think bowling is the one game I',m good at,.

I have only one true friend on myspace. Actually that's a lie I reckon I have three true friends. Either way that's rubbish. I did accept a load of peiople last night, but if they don't say on my site "Thanks for the add" by the weekend I shall be deleting the,m/. If you ask someone to add you, yuo should at leadsy say thanks. I notice FDreya's friend Jess hasn;t added me. She must be a bitch as I suspected.

Man this blog is so not making sense. All I have to say is I am a great bowlier. I just need to work at it. The same may be said about my interview techniwue wihci I will have to perfect by Turesday as I cam having a dbig day off to get a pricing job at the Farepack money knicers,.

Cheerio,
Bwen

She is S: Super Special...

...She is C: Crazy Crazy

I'm having trouble with these new CD cases. It looks as though the main reason for them is to protect the hinge and make the front less likely to snap off from the back. This is rubbish. I've got about 800 CDs (no, really) and I'd say about one has actually had this happen to it. Well, others have had the front cover snap off, but it's been easy enough to snap it in place again.

The real problems with CD cases are that the front covers crack easily when you step on them, the inside nipples* teeth break off easily causing the CD to rattle and also the CDs can get stratched and become useless.

And instead we now get a CD cases that has rounded edges, you have to press a button to open it, is impossible to get the inlay out and doesn't have symmetrical back cover 'sides'. Good work CD designers!

* I believe this is actually the correct technical term for them.

Who're ya gonna call...

...Ghostbusters!

I've been really clever and whilst I was in Manchester I bought a moleskin notepad so I can write ideas for blogging if they strike. And strike they did yesterday:

We ate at Wagamama's yesterday, which is a Japanese style fast-food restaurant that you only get in big cities like Manchester & Leeds. I ordered some Beef Chili Noodles and pointed out to Freya that they had actual chilis in there. Then I ate one. It wasn't too bad a little hot but I managed it. The food was really nice. And because it's using fresh ingredients it's much better for you than usual fast food places.

I was a bit upset though that after one go of trying to eat my noodles with chopsticks, and failing miserably, the waiter came over and asked if I wanted cutlery. Did I look that stupid eating with them? Not wanting to embarrass Freya further I accepted his offer. And it was much easier. I'm terrible with anything that involves relaxing your hands - mine just always seem tight and clawlike.

The other problem involved me eating the chilis. When we got home I had a slight problem. I won't go into any details here, but it wasn't pretty. And we had a gig to go to. With me having a very delicate stomach and Freya snuffling from a cold. Luckily we got through the gig ok (pics on flickr by the end of the day) and I realised that me and eating slices of chilis do not mix. At least they don't mix for long anyway.

Do you realize...

...that you have the most beautiful face?

I'm writing this from an internet cafe in Manchester. I'm still surprised these exist to be honest as I thought everyone now 3G from their mobiles or wi-fi on park benches or in McDonalds.

Having a great time in Manchester. I finally found some trainers that I wanted (been spending ages looking for some waterproof Converse) only to find out that the ones in my size were damaged. They're now sending me some through the post, but I'm sure there will be a bit of hassle before I get my hands/feet on/in them.

Freya has bought lots of clothes and make-up so I think she's happy. She was a bit ill yesterday so we just stayed in our hotel room then. It's actually a pretty swish apartment though so it wasn't like we were cooped up. I'll take some pics of it and put them on my flickr.

That's about it for the day, we're off to see the Flaming Lips tonight so that promises to be great fun. Hopefully Wayne/Stu will be on top form and there will be lots of streamers, puppets, animal costumes, bubbles, spacemen and Father Christmasses (Christmasii?) as they usually have.

Cheerio.

Sunsets lost in...

DSC08361
Originally uploaded by uppi17.

...skies of hazy grey

Possibly very lazy of me to blog a picture rather than anything of substance, but it fits in with Part I of my story yesterday. I reckon this may be considered a 'spoiler' as it is me with C3PO but I doubt I'm spoiling it that much for you.

Another pic will be blogged tomorrow (if I can find a PC in Manchester) which may (or may not) have me meeting Amber Benson. I bet you're all excited aren't you?

You hear the thunder of stampeding rhinos...

...elephants and tacky tigers

Still aiming to go through the whole month. Four out of four. I'm rather impressed with that.

Mum & Dad have left to go back to Germany. But I'd rather talk about the day I met C3PO as I don't think I've mentioned it before and it's my one and only star story. In fact, I might split it into two parts.

Around two years ago I heard about a site called Ghosts of Albion . It was a webcartoon written by Amber Benson from Buffy. Now being a massive fan of anything Buffy related and also having had a huge crush on Amber (it was the doe eyes that did it*) I started to watch it.

It was good. Whilst the animation was a bit rubbish (due to having dial-up at the time I had to go for the poorer quality picture) the story was exciting and certainly gave me something to do other than watch the telly. Even though I was just watching the PC instead.

They had the usual stuff on the site for people to interact with each other which at the time was a forum. But they also had the golden ticket competition.

Every weekday they set a question either about the cartoon or regarding the mythology touched upon in the cartoon (Lord Nelson, Boudiccia and another ghost I can't quite remember possibly Byron were involved). If you were the first to answer on the forum you managed to go to an event which would be held in London in December. Apparently the people who voiced the characters would be there. They never mentioned it but I reckoned that Amber would definitely be showing up and I would pull her and then we would live together in LA.

So it was in my best interests to get a golden ticket. Unfortunately most questions were set at noon and I couldn't get net access at work so I usually missed out. The few questions that weren't answered straight away were usually because they were set at museums that no-one went to or in Manchester square on a big tv and no-one bothered to look at it. Can't blame them - I avoid the York Ghost Walk guy whenever he appears through walls.

Eventually the beeb took pity on the people who weren't tax dodgers and actually worked during the day and started to set questions at 6pm. Even then I usually failed to answer in time because I was on dial up and once I worked out an answer about 10 people had already correcty answered it.

I was getting angry. Amber was moving away from me. And we'd make a perfect couple.

Luck was to shine on me though. One of the questions was divided into lots of mulitiple choice questions which ended in you getting a code word. Using my geek skills and google I think I had the right word, which was different to the one everyone else had put down. Further geek skills helped me work out I was definitely correct by the fact that deliberately getting an option wrong gave me the word everyone else quoted.

I was right. I had my ticket to London. Amber & I would finally meet and the planets would align.

Except between getting the ticket and the event I met Freya and Amber left my mind completely. And she never showed up anyway. But C3PO did.

Part 2 tomorrow as I have to get ready to leave for Manchester then & will not be able to think of anything to write about.


* As in she had nice eyes, not that she used doe eyes in a spell on Buffy & that turned me on.

If all you need is melodrama...

...with a beginning, middle and an end

A quick one today. Getting a new job is proving harder than I thought. For some reason the new agency I signed up with ring me to tell me about a job, I say it sounds ok could you send me more details, they say ok.

I've still not received anything. Are they really that rubbish?

EDIT: Just looked and googlemail was putting their e-mails in Spam. And because I use Outlook to download my googlemail I never saw them. Gach. So I've got two really important e-mails that I missed out on. Cheers googlemail spam check.

I've realised that I really need to practise my answers for interviews so I've booked out a meeting with a guy at work to go through possible questions I might get asked. To be honest I'd really like to stay at NU, but as a newly qualified accountant I (apparently) should be getting around £30k and I'm only earning £19k at the moment. However much I like NU, I don't like them that much.

But at least it pays the bills for now.

Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves...

...they hear it from the people of the town

Curse blogger and it's inability to know I only want the first line to be in bold. I have to edit the html manually to get it working. And I hate jacking in to the html matrix.

But Anyway.

NaBloPoMo continues apace. I actually thought of loads of topics to write about whilst at work today and as usual I've forgotten about them. Except I've remembered that I hoard.

My Mum and Dad have brought some of my stuff back from Germany and it's been there for 8 years. So what kind of gems did they bring back?

• A Nottingham Forest pennant
• A Reeves and Mortimer poster
• Two PC joysticks - which aren't USB connected
• A GameGear, GameBoy Color, CD32 and Spectrum +3
• Around a hundred CD's
• Some Rosita, Angelica and theaudience vinyl
• Two footballs (one of which was signed by Sensible Software)
• The 'grail' book from the Indiana Jones & The Last Crusade adventure game
• Some Neal Stephenson books

I think out of those the only things I really want to keep is the vinyl and the Neal Stephenson books. But I want to keep the other stuff as well. That's my dilemma, because I'm a hoarder.

I cut out little bits of magazines because there was a small AP reference in there - but I never read the bit again.

I keep freebies given to me just because they were free and could come in useful again sometime.

I have every episode of Gamesmaster ever on video even though I don't think I've ever watched them again.

And the Fast Show.

And Shooting Stars (except I have watched that again).

But if I died. Do I seriously want Freya, or my Mum & Dad to go through this load of rubbish? What would they make of it? And what would they think of me when then went through it?

No. It's a load of rubbish. He kept a load of rubbish.

So I will endeavour to get rid of any rubbish my Mum & Dad bring back.


Man, NaBloPoMo is making me do loads of stuff. Even if no-one reads this* at least I'll have started exercising (15 press ups this morning) and added to the landfills in York. Actually that last bit isn't that good environmentally is it?

Don't worry, they'll start making sense soon.

Oh well.

* As usual

All we need is...

...radio gaga

Well as expected it's been impossible to get to a PC today. However (to satisfy the NaNo requirements) I have these things to say:

• I've done no exercising today. Only some half-hearted exercises in the morning.
• I really have no motivation for work at the moment.
• Freya has had her hair cut and it looks really nice. A bit of a change, but a change for the better.

Hopefully I will be able to expand on this tomorrow, but probably not...

Sorry for the shortness NaNo people, but it's a marathon not a sprint. And it's how you finish it that's most important.

Belong to me, because tonight...

...you make my world feel right

Something at work today made me think I should get my arse in gear and start doing some exercise. I remember when I first joined NU and got a £100 bonus I spent it on joining a gym for three months. I did actually feel healthier and (I thought) I was actually starting to get some muscles.

When it ran out I didn't renew and have done no exercise since. And have also developed a beer belly even though I only drink beer for one night every three weeks.

The thing is I know exercise will help me, I just have no motivation for doing it. I much prefer lazying around watching TV. But I should do it. It will stop me feeling so tired when I've done nothing, might help me get to sleep quicker, will make me healthier and feel better. It might even stop me getting headaches so much.

It couldn't hurt. Except I know it will.

Perhaps what I'll do is start doing a bit of jogging and sit ups first then join a gym when my job situation is sorted out. In fact, I've had a thought. Seeing how I'm meant to be blogging every day next month (although more on that later) I think I could have a NoBloGymMo and say what exercise I've done for each day.

Sounds like a plan. As the California Dreams said "Less doo id".

More on the NaNoBloSchmo

I've realised I may have made a mistake signing up to the NaNoBloSchmo thing. I'm going to have problems getting near a PC for the first week!

Mum & Dad are staying over and will be sleeping in the PC room until Saturday, so I'll have to be regimented and blog in the afternoon. Without seeming rude.

However from Sunday to Tuesday we'll be in Manchester to see The Flaming Lips. Now I've just looked and the hotel has wi-fi, but would it be really rude to go blogging when I should be giving Freya my full attention? Yes, yes it would.

Damn.

Sorry BloHo but I might not hold out until the 6th. I will endeavour to do my best though.

I'm having such a good time...

DSC08861
Originally uploaded by uppi17.

...I'm having a ball.

Forgot to show my Shaun Of The Dead costume. So here it is.

She was disco lights on the Friday nights...

...she moves across the floor

So I didn't get ("the rival company" - ed) job. As I thought I did alright talking about the job, but pretty much failed when I was speaking about myself. The annoying thing is that when he was talking about the job I was thinking: "Yep. This sounds like what I'm doing now. All I have to do is bring that up and I might have a chance."

Except when it came to talking about myself all I did was go through my CV - no, but yes - in chronological order. And not making it sound interesting at all. Then I decided to somehow say that I beat myself up over mistakes. Rather than saying I take my mistakes on board and learn from them.

I'm so useless at making myself sound good. As you 0readers may have noticed.

But for some reason the agency still think someone may be stupid and take a chance on me. The most recent company they've offered me work in the Merrion centre in Leeds. I might go for it just on the Bo Selecta reference. My brother would love me just for that.

I've been trying to start blogging daily to get myself ready for NaBloPaMo (or whatever it's called). After all you wouldn't start running a marathon after no practise would you? ("I agree" - Jade)

Like that's going to do something against them guns...

...it's Rosie the nosey neighbour (woo!)

We got trapped in our house today. For some reason* the door handle to the front room is loose and falls off regularly. However as I'm never in the room that much I always forget and shut the door behind me. Which doesn't normally matter as we have the handle there and can open it with no problems.

Except today Freya put the handle in the kitchen as she was tidying up.

I didn't notice at first as I was eating. But after a few mouthfuls I looked up and knew something was wrong. My stomach tightened and (for once**) it wasn't due to the food.

I started to panic. Freya wasn't bothered and was really calm. She even wanted to finish her food first. I knew we'd probably get out, but I really wasn't sure how we'd do it. My plan was Freya going through the (open) front window, but I wouldn't have a clue what she'd do after that. Possibly she could've rung her Mum on the phone by collect call. I doubt she'd remember the number though.

Luckily through a combination of Freya using her knife to pry it open and me twisting the bit of the handle remaining, we go out. And I realised that I may be slightly claustrophobic.

So that's claustrophobia, vertigo and fear of cheese. Hey, these things do come in threes!


* Most probable reason is that the landlord is rubbish & doesn't fix anything.


** If you read this Freya this is a joke. Albeit a bad one.

Wendys, Sambos and Long John Silvers...

...take advantage of the efficiency

Hmmm. As usual I don't really have anything witty, funny or interesting to say*. So it's on with the show, except I've decided to change the name of the site.

Been getting a few compliments recently. My lack of shaving was described as nice by Laura the secretary, my Pink Rock t-shirt was described as great by someone at a cafe and I've been used to make someone's boyf jealous. Well not really, but she mentioned me to him a few times and apparently he got all "Who's this Ben then?". Even though he's met me.

Apparently there's something on THNTRNTeiee where you have to write a blog every day. Seeing how I have trouble writing anything for two weeks at a time I fail to see how increasing the frequency of these could make them worse so let's give it a try hey 0readers?

I may be finally having a night out tonight. Unfortunately it's fancy dress and I'm crap at dressing up. Yet I may have something that I could go as. Shaun Of The Dead.



OK so all I have to do is wear a short-sleeved shirt**, put a bit of red on it (ketchup is favourite so far), have a red tie and get a cricket bat (bought a super tiny one). But at least I'll be making an effort. Although I didn't have time to do the headband-with-half-a-dart-stuck-in-it-so-it-looks-as-though-the-dart-is-stuck-in-my-head idea, which might have topped it off.

Work problems continue apace. I really can't be bothered with it at the moment, which considering my usual lack of botheredness at work is really distressing. I did have an interview ("with a rival" - ed). As usual I choked when it came to talking about myself. I realise now I should've tied everything on my CV in with the job I was going for - and there were lots to tie together. But I'm blaming me not getting the job (although I don't know for sure yet) on four things:

1. Only finding about the interview the day before it happened
2. Getting absolutely soaked before the interview and completely forgetting my smart answers to questions
3. The interviewer picking his nose and scratching himself partway through the interview
4. The lights in the room going off partway through

Although these facts may actually work in my favour.

Freya got very drunk last night, which was quite funny. But I had to clear the mess up. Oh dear.

Mata ne,
Ben

* Possibly witty covers both the funny & interesting parts

** Which I had to buy as I only possess long-sleeved work shirts

Hey boy, where'd you get it from...

...Hey boy where did you go? I learnt my passion in the good old fashioned school of loverboys

Listening to the Adam & Joe podcast they mentioned weird fantasies you had when you were a kid and that rang a few bells with the stuff I came up with.

I used to daydream about being able to fly. But it wasn't any normal superman style flying. What you had to do was run as fast as possible, then your foot somehow found invisible steps and you managed to run up the steps so you were above everyone. I think as soon as you stopped running you fell back down to Earth, so you had to be ready for a long run.

I'm trying to remember if all you could do was run on a higher plane than everyone else. I'm quite sure that is all you could do. Pretty crap really in terms of fantasies.

Oh, and my other daydream was by saving the world through song. For some reason aliens invaded the Earth, but somehow if you sung "Good Old Fashioned Lover Boy" by Queen you saved the town that you sang it in. Because I knew it off by heart I would be able to save the day.

Now an alien invasion is highly unlikely. The fact that they've allergic to Queen songs more so. Yet in my head this turn of events never seemed weird and the chance to save the world each time I walked home from the bus stop was always in my mind. Strange.

Next time I could go into the nightmares I had as a kid, but they would be way too weird...

I can see there's something in your eyes...

...you just took a fall from paradise

And with that dodgy rhyme from Stefy it's time to go bullet-time as I can't be bothered making anything link together.

• VH1 had a show of 10 John Lydon songs, but cleverly showed it as John Lennon songs. Almost as bad as their Top 10 Come Songs. I'm not joking about this.
• I may be getting sacked soon as part of the forthcoming restructure. I may have mentioned this before but it's preying on my mind.
• I've started Japanese lessons and am already starting to regret it. We have to fill in homework diaries and then take an oral exam at the end. Considering I can't remember what Good Night is* this doesn't bode well.
  
  Also we're doing the Katakana symbols which I thought would be in the intermediate level. Although thinking about it, it's probably best I start early on this.

Cheerio reader!
* Oyasumi nasai

And nothing else matters...

...when you turn it up loud

Or load as I was about to write it.

I feel super rough today. Which doesn't really make sense as I had an extra long lie in, had regular meals & (as usual for the weekend) did absolutely nothing. This has been happening far too much for me recently. And my guts haven't been too good either.

Maybe I should see a doctor. But I can hardly see any diagnosis coming out of it.

So perhaps I should do more (some) exercise & hope that by moving about I can get out of the weird funk that my head is currently in.

Still at least I've still got work to look forward to, right?

http://business.guardian.co.uk/story/0,,1872824,00.html

Oh bum.

Well tomorrow I have a celebratory lunch with Diddy to celebrate passing my exam. This leaves me in a dilemma. Do I keep quiet & eat food or do I say how crap the restructure has been announced? Possibly the former. Although I may vomit as well ("I agree" - Mr Creosote).

I do actually have some funny stuff to write about, but I've completely forgotten what it was. It's written down somewhere though so you do have something to look forward to.

Hurrah!

Woke up on Monday...

...And got ready for school.

Forgot to mention one other thing from over the past few weeks. I got a letter addressed to a Mr. B. Hole. It turned out to be my Japanese language course application form that I ordered over the phone. Did the person hear me pronounce my surname properly & then decide to get it wrong on purpose or am I that crap at talking? ("The latter" - J Ross) Either way it's pretty funny and I may get it framed.

Kanpei!

If you stay there's no more to say...

...and I wouldn't wanna kiss you

So there's been a weekend in between my last update. I bet you think nothing has happened in between. Well as usual you're right. Except - it's bullet point time!

• Our new PC has been delivered, as expected it is fast and also as expected it is crashing for no apparent reason. It appears to crash when I'm running my torrent software which I think means something although I'm not sure what.
• When Freya was ill during her wisdom teeth being taken out I managed to make half-decent food for myself. Pasta sauces, spicy mince, cashew nut paella all bowed before my might. So she was right (Again) about me being a good cook.
• I have been announced as the best accountant in Yorkshire. Well, I got the highest TOPCIMA mark in Yorkshire. This either means I am very clever or everyone else in Yorkshire is thick. I'm still working out which is correct, so that must mean the latter option is the right one (except if I worked that out then I must be clever (ouch me brain (the latter then (except...))) Either way I have to come up with a quote for the local press and make sure it includes NU so that I keep my job in the restructure transformation. Any suggestions are welcome.
• I left out a closing bracket from the previous bullet point). That's better.
• My body has been a-coughing and a-spluttering since a leaving meal at ("A certain restaurant" - libel ed) which resulted in me showing up for work after four hours sleep looking worse than the people who stayed out drinking. This illness could be due to J Nash warning me in a gypsy fashion of the curse of working on an AP THNTRNTeiee page. I ignored him, obv, as curses don't exist. Ouch, me kidney.
• I still have absolutely nothing witty to write about ("I agree" - J Vaughan)
• From the end of September I will be learning Japanese at college so I can impress the Okatu's with my dictionary-like knowledge of their language.

Sayonara matey-peeps!

Ben

I fought the war...

...and the war won

So I was about to write a note saying how I was doing the washing up and Pull Shapes came on and it was the best feeling ever, but before I could write it up I sat down. And watched whatever. It's a show on channel four and is rubbish.

If you didn't already think programme comissioners weren't the stupidest people on Earth this show will help you reach that opinion. I shall explain it in this formula:

Why Don't You - Good Presenters + Annoying Youth Gob Presenters + Street Talk ^ Stupidity = Whatever

Blinded by the chancer we had oysters and dry lancers...

...and the cheque went in a rush, we went dutch, dutch, dutch, dutch

OK, so the every weekend an update didn't go according to plan either. But hey at least you're getting one now. At least in the five minutes I've decided I've got before I go to bed.

Work continues apace on AP4. By that I mean I've e-mailed most of the people who wrote bits for it before and got replies from them. J Nash, Mil, C-Monster and Flossie - I salute you.

So I logged onto myspace today (which I just use to keep tracks on music rather than have any proper friends on there) and had the following e-mail:

Hello. Are you very popular online? My best friend and I were checking single profiles online and saw yours. I hope you're available, because she's quite interested in meeting you. She doesn't have an account and not comfortable online dating. She's a student and visiting me from outside the good ole US of A. She'd love to know more about you and really lives close to you. I've done my special part, now it's up to you. You can contact her direclty at: waxy.sarah_p at yahoo. She's uber-smart, speaks many languages and is very very sexy - she's much thinner than I and much healthier overall. Thanks, and have a nice day.

OK, so let's look at this in detail. Am I popular online? My best friend on myspace is Petra Haden and only two people read this blog, so no. Actually we can't look in more detail as I'm already one* minute over. Suffice to say this e-mail freaks me out. In A Bad Way.

* Now two

Shake baby shake...

...You know I can fit you in my arms.

So my blog-a-day kinda got pushed aside for getting a good nights sleep. But I realised that it's not the quantity, but the quality of my blogs that my non-existent readers want. So sorry non-existent readers but you'll be getting the same crap quality about once a week instead of every day.

I suppose you'll all be interested to know that I know have my own website. It is at http://www.yellowreggae.co.uk. All it has on at the moment is a link to this blog, the old AP futurenet site and everything I know about eggs. Possibly the eggs bit is the best.

It's time I tell you what happened in the Larry David Meal. Even though it was about two months ago the reprecussions are still going on.

We went out for a meal with some mates. I had had a crap nights sleep beforehand and was feeling rather rubbish so I wasn't going to drink that much. My mates however had been drinking for a long time.

The meal was rather crap considering it was expensive and therefore is supposed to be good. I'd somehow ordered a pate for my starter, which I normally wouldn't do as I reckon I wouldn't like pate. I turned out to be correct in this opinion.

Freya & I weren't having any wine or a dessert. So (in theory) we should've had less to pay than everyone else. Turned out it was it was just over 270 quid between seven of us. So R & F were asking for thirty quid from everyone. So everyone gave them thirty quid, even myself and Freya - we're not that tight. Then R & F realised they were low on money so started muttering under their breath calling everyone 'peasants' and stuff. Someone else on our table stood up for Freya & I saying that as we'd hardly drunk anything & didn't have a dessert why should we pay more. R & F kept quiet but then F was still muttering.

A bit of a bad ending to the night.

So a few days after I went over to speak to F. He had a face like someone had just shat in his cereal. Then all he said was "I heard what Freya said about me." I didn't have a clue what he meant, although I think Freya did say something as we were leaving along the line's of "F is being a tithead". So all I did was say "Well you were hardly on top form either". And then walked away.

The weird thing is that F and his girlf are now ignoring us despite the fact that we should be more angry with him for what he said about us. However, I'm not really bothered about what he said about us as it was said after three bottles of wine. So why is he still playing up about this? I dunno, the best explanation I can think of is that he's embarrassed about what he did. The best ignoring us situation occured when we walked past them in town. Freya & I smiled at them, they pretended to look at the M&S display. Cut to ten minutes later, we walk past them again and still decide to smile. This time with no display to look at they have to nod. Hurrah! The being nice option pays off again!

From here to there to everywhere...

...And back to Union Square, where do I get some sleep?

Gah! Far too tired again. And I got soaked on my way back from work.

Been enjoying Phoenix Wright though - really had to concentrate.

Spoke to my Grandma to tell her I passed. She seemed happy enough, but she never wants to speak for long on the phone. I think we spoke for about three minutes.

Ah well.

Better get going...

...Better move along now, and find my own way.

Far too late a day at work today to have time to write my blog, read WOS, cook food and watch CSI Miami so something had to go. Sorry blog.

Tomorrow, definitely.

Best go, snooze patrol is here!

We dress cheap...

...we dress trashy

OK, so it's not a massive update but it's a start yes? I bought Phoenix Wright and Trauma Centre today. I'd probably say PW's my favourite at the moment, but both seem to be good little games. I shall write more tomorrow.

Summer in The City...

...means cleavage, cleavage, cleavage.

Wow. Apparently I am now a qualified accountant. Somehow in an exam that I previously had two fourty-five percent marks in (missing on passing by five percent) I have managed to turn things round so much that I got sixty-seven percent this time around. It's even more impressive considering that most people got high fifties as a high pass mark. Either I'm got more cleverer or I wrote in a better style this time around.

I think it was the latterer.

Although it may have helped that I asked for an extra pad to write on. Even though I only used it for one more sheet. Perhaps the marker just couldn't be bothered to look through three pads. I know I wouldn't.

I am now planning to write every day this week. Doubt I will though.

In One More Hour...

...I will be gone

Bye Sleater-Kinney
Two guitarists, one drummer
You were a riot (grrrl)

I can for miles...

and miles and miles (oh yeah)

Haven't written for a while. Will do so soon.

You need another element...

...You need it right away

I've just been to watch Germany - Costa Rica and Poland - Ecuador in the garden of a pub in Osnabruck. It was rather good. We got given free horns, whistles, flags and t-shirts. Would a similar thing be done in England? Probably not. Still, I'm off to Hamburg tomorrow. Hopefully I won't get confused as a hooligan and arrested.

Steve Beale - suited up - How I Met Your Mother
Every summer I appear to go on a magazine buying spree. I try to find a magazine that speaks out to me and manages to be entertaining yet also educational (or I think I'm learning from it anyway). I think the order went:

• Your Sinclair
• Amiga Power
• Loaded
• Esquire
• Possibly back to Loaded
• Total Film
• SFX
• Hotdog
• Word

Part way between SFX and Hotdog I started buying Arena. It was witty, amusing, had people like Kevin Smith writing for it and had pictures of Eliza Dushku in it. It was most enjoyable.

Then Steve Beale started writing for it.

His first article was him having plastic surgery. Mostly to get rid of his bitch tits. His conclusion was 'if you have poor self esteem, having plastic surgery could make you feel better'.

Then he 'gave up' hash. Again his conclusion was the pretty much obvious 'I felt more alert, didn't laze about so much & was more effective with my time'. However despite the benefits he found from giving up weed he still started smoking it by the end of the article.

When he started shagging ladyboys for the purposes for an article I started going off Arena's idea of a black collar worker (which I think is pretty much a guy in a suit, but a bit more independent than usual). In fact I stopped buying Arena completely. If any cute girls are in there (like Linda Cardellini) then I simply download the scans from the internet.

I think it's a bit bad that one guy managed to stop me buying one magazine, but it's that Steve Beale appeared to be considered to be the kind of man that Arena readers should look up to. And I just couldn't do that. Perhaps I'm too middle class for that kind of stuff.

However, since I stopped reading Arena I have actually started 'dressing up' for work as Arena would've wanted and worn a suit to work. For the first few days I got the jibes of "Are you going to a funeral/interview?" but I also got compliments - and mostly from girls!

Wearing a suit has made me feel more confident at work and I think people have altered how they deal with me accordingly. What a difference a tie makes.

But what made me wear a tie I hear you ask? It was Barney from How I Met Your Mother.

For those of you who don't know How I Met Your Mother is a sitcom with less of a standard sitcom way of going about things. It stars Nick from Freaks & Geeks, Doogie Howser MD and Willow from Buffy so already has my seal of approval for the casting alone.

It also gets further approval for having Doogie as a suit-wearing Quip-genius. Because of how Doogie is on the show is the only reason why I've started wearing a suit to work.

I recommend you watch it. Apart from the last two episodes in the first series, which have far too much plot and not enough comedy for my liking.

DS lite
My attempts at getting the frag dolls and readers of this blog to make me buy either an Xbox 360 or a DS lite were a bit crap. The frag dolls just sat on the fence and said "what you want is best for you". God I just wanted an answer either way!

Anyway, when I found out that the DS Lite was being released at the end of June I decided to pre-order one. This is the first time I will ever get a console on its release date. Except the DS has been out for about a year already.

I shall be getting Mario Kart, Animal Crossing and Brain Training before I even have a DS. This is kind of strange, but I think I'll like it.

But now, I feel so weak...

...Dead trees and traffic islands never sleep

So I've spent my first night away from Freya since we've moved in together and I miss her terribly. I know that's a soppy thing to say, but I really do. So why am I spending four (count 'em, four) night away from my girlf? It's because I'm going to the World Cup.

Not to go and see England as I'm not patriotic enough. I've never watched an England international all the way through since about Euro 96. Probably because ever since then they've played ugly, boring, depressing football. This stance causes friction with work colleagues (like at the Larry David Meal) but I don't care. Perhaps tomorrow I'll be swayed when I see England play on the big screen in Hamburg tomorrow. Who knows?

One thing I know I won't be doing is wearing a shirt with the St. Georges Cross on there shouting my head off about England and how we're the best team in the tournament. What's strange is that in the village in Germany where my Mum & Dad live* some cars here have the annoying small English flags hanging out of their windows. I'm sure that if a German tried the same thing in England they'd have a much harder time than the people over here have.

I don't have any evidence to support why I think this. I just have a feeling. And surely that's enough right? ("I agree" - Derek Acorah)

Horse racing
A few weeks ago, just before my second retake of my final CIMA exam, my team went horse racing. Like the previous time I went horse racing (for Sarah's birthday) none of my horses came in. In fact I don't think I've won any kind of gambling thing (apart from a few hands on online poker). But it's not as though I've got bad luck - I correctly told my Dad that Minnehoma was going to win the Grand National. So the problem is that I'm rubbish with my own money.

Best keep it well invested instead then eh? ("I agree" - Nick Leeson).

Tschus!
* In case I didn't mention (which I didn't), I'm staying at my Mum & Dad's house

I've got my hand in your head...

...and I'm pulling out all of your mind.

Ergh. I have a hangover/migraine today and it's not very nice. It's even worse because I only had two drinks (admittedly cocktails) so I have no real reason for feeling like someone just shat in my cereal. Anyway what happened yesterday kind of connects one of the topics I still have to talk about.

Gemma's phone number
Thanks for reminding me.

In case you weren't aware I am crap around girls. I'd say I've fancied around thirty girls, spoken to around ten of these and been on a date with five of these. Most of my girlfriends arose on a drunken journey. This is because girls like confident people and a sober Ben is not confident.

Therefore I am very happy to have a wonderful girlfriend who actually pressured me into calling her back. It takes a lot of pressure away when someone says "I like you". When no-one clarifies that you're left to thinking little things mean someone is saying "I like you". Which brings me onto Gemma's phone number.

I've been getting my haircut by Cube in York and especially by the Lovely Gemma. She is very cute, wears nice clothes (this really means a lot to me) and is into good music. She's been cutting my hair for about 2 years and whilst at the beginning I had a major crush on her this has slowly moved into (gach) friendship.

So anyway, last week (before my accounting exam) Gemma - no, but yes! - was cutting my hair and we were chatting. Mostly it was her stressing about getting a flat with her boyfriend (and me trying to calm her down - it's very scary having a panicky person with big scissors behind you). She was giving the impression that she wasn't happy about moving & settling down - which I'm sure is pre-match nerves and she's probably happily tucked up in bed with said boyf now.

Last week, I calmed her down as best as I could, got a shave by the Turkish guy there (for the first time ever - which actually I should talk about later as well), picked up some leaflet by the cash register and left. When I got home it turned out that the leaflet I picked up was actually some competition entry at Principles that Gemma had filled out and had her mobile phone number on. As I don't know where Principles is I shredded the leaflet* and forgot about it (until now, obv).

So what would I have done if the same thing happened two years ago? Probably the following:

I'd have thought Gemma's worrying about moving in was her saying that she fancied me. Then when she looked at me in the mirror I'd have thought that was a moment between us. Then when she brought the leaflets and I took them home I'd have thought that was her slyly trying to give me her number.

Totally wrong conclusion, natch, but this is what boys do when they are after a girlfriend.

And a similar thing happened last night.

What happened last night

Jon at work has got a promotion & will be moving back to Norwich. So I showed up at the local cocktail bar Monteys where Jon was at the bar with Laura and Lorna. Laura is quite nice (a few too many tattoos for me**) and greeted me by rubbing my arms and touching me lots.

She did a bit more during the afternoon as well. Again I would have taken this as a hint that she fancied me. Then, as I have done now, I would have done absoutely nothing about it. Although at least now it's because I'm happily co-habiting with the lovely Schatzipuss and not because I'm far too chicken to do anything.

Confidence is key.

Bic Runga & bad gig people

So Freya & I went to see Bic Runga at Fibbers on Wednesday. My Uncle Andrew and his girlfriend showed up as well. Aside from a few racist comments by Andrew & Lisa it went ok. Bic Runga was very beautiful and sang amazingly well. Her backing band was in London, but it was much more intimate and special as a result.
What wasn't good was bad gig goers:

• Don't dance by thrusting your groin area in and out. Some bald guy was doing it at the Bic gig and a Boris Johnson a like was doing it at the Goldfrapp gig. Therefore groin thrusting is now called 'doing a Boris'.
• Take pictures if you want, but don't keep putting your digital camera up in the air and taking pictures throughout a song. One or two pictures are fine.
• Don't use a mobile phone for pictures as they will look shit. Dark rooms with bright lights do not mix for phone pics.
• Do fiddle with the settings on your digital camera. But Don't if it keeps bleeping when you press a button. It's very annoying, especially at a quiet acoustic gig.
• Don't go off and get drinks for everyone halfway through the set. And then don't say "Cider" in a loud voice. People may hear that rather than the lovely Bic's voice.
• Sing along to the songs but don't if you don't actually know all the words.

What I should do is now have a Bic Runga video, but they don't have any on youtube. So let's have Cake's Short Skirt and Long Jacket. For a brief period I was looking for a girl who fitted all of the criteria they said. God I was useless. This is a good song, but apparently misses the 'rising action'.

* Don't worry there were loads of competition entries there so Gemma would still have entered it (I hope).

** Actually one tattoo is too much for me.

Well the full moon maggie says the grass is getting shaggy...

...Mow the lawn

Start of the catch-up session whilst Freya's cooing over Fieldmeeces on Springwatch.

No-one reads this anymore
OK, I guess that's not really true as people would have had to had read it in the first place. And I suppose I never really advertise my website. What I should do is random browsing of blogs and post seemingly relevant comments. But I'm really rubbish at that.

Let's consider who've commented on my site:
Shelle
Linzi
Cathy - these three all came because I foolishly mentioned it to them
Kiwiqueen
Bogbumper - these two came here of their own accord (and then left quickly)
Person trying to sell oil - I didn't really understand his point, but thank you oil person!

All very nice people but 6 isn't really enough to consider continuing with this. Or is it?

Hmmm. Let's continue with this tomorrow and see how it goes. I'll go through all the topics later. Oh and I need to add:

Bic Runga & bad gig people

Let's have some Moloko to take us out...

Fell down the stairs into my arms...

...and swiftly ran the other way

It's the usual - Ben hasn't updated for a while so he writes a load of topics down so he can write about them later.

I'm off to pass my final Accounting exam. Wish me luck! (edit - I think I've failed it again)

No-one reads this anymore
Hearts car
Steve Beale - Suited up - How I met your mother
Exam - revision
DS Lite
Gemma's phone number
Ian Collins - Iain Lee - James Whale
Walk round York
Tilly and the Wall
Horse Racing
Larry David Meal

The tower of power...

...too sweet to be sour. Funky like a monkey. Ooooh yeah.

Looking at the 24 review I did makes me feel ill. Because it's rubbish. Perhaps I should've written it down first. Planning is key. Much like the exam I keep failing to become a qualified accountant.

And I need to pass this exam. Not because I'll have no more to do, but because I have promised to get myself either an Xbox 360 or a DS lite when I pass it.

But which should I get? I am torn between the two so I am allowing you, the reader of this blog, or you, the fragdoll forumers to decide. By the time of my exam (May 25th) I will collate all the votes and then start saving my pennies towards that console.

Not to sway you either way, but this is what I think of the two:

Xbox 360

• Live is meant to be excellent. I've kind of played it, but not yet had the full experience.
• However, Live costs money whereas the DS' online is free.
• Graphics are amazing & the speed is impressive.
• However, a £1,000 HD telly is needed & I won't be getting one of them for about three years.
• GRAW and Oblivion appear to be wicked cool
• However I've around eight games for the original Xbox that I still haven't completed. Why do I need new games, shouldn't I complete my old ones first? (I haven't even Beyond Good & Evil yet)
• Although let's be honest, I'm never going to complete Ninja Gaiden

DS Lite

• It's not out yet & may not even be available on results day in June
• Freya would like Animal Crossing & Nintendogs
• However seeing as I can't get near the gamecube as she's always playing AC I may not get near the DS
• It can't play videos like the PSP & doesn't have GTA
• But it will have online Pro Evo
• I could get cleverer by using Brain Training
• Mario Kart on the toilet
• Wario Ware Twisted may finally be out in June - it's been one whole year Nintendo!

The choice is yours...